


Private Emotion

by underthedesertstars



Category: Josh Hutcherson - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:23:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underthedesertstars/pseuds/underthedesertstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>New story! Hope you'll all like it!! :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> New story! Hope you'll all like it!! :)

**January 2013**

As I lay in bed, I thought back on the past 24 hours, starting from this morning. How could it be possible for someone to go through so much within a day?

~~~

_It all began when I woke up. I heard the door slam and I knew that my dad was gone for the day. He was going to work and then to see his girlfriend right after. They’d have a drink or two and when he got home, he’d pull out the whiskey from the cupboard and have a few more drinks. His actions scared me when he consumed alcohol. He would get aggressive and push me around a lot, calling me names and finally falling asleep in his room. When the morning rolled around, he seemed to forget everything that happened the night before and would continue on with his routine._

_However, his nightly actions were far from my biggest concern. My head hung as my hands reached for my stomach. I was hoping it was all a bad dream, but my life as I knew it was over as of yesterday. Omar and I had always been safe, but something must have gone wrong. The pregnancy test that I took yesterday came out positive._

_My biggest concern now was how to tell Omar. He was from a very conservative family and we both knew that us being together was a complete no-no from his parents. We came from opposites sides of the world, so they’ve told him countless times to have as much fun as he wanted with me now because it wasn’t going to last. I thought I loved Omar with all my heart, but I knew that deep down, his feelings for me weren’t strong enough for him to defy his parents._

_I picked up my phone before I could chicken out and sent him a quick message to meet me here. I didn’t feel like driving to an area where no one he knows would recognize him._

_The thought of being a mother at 22 scared me. I wished I still had my mom with me, she would have known what to do. I could picture her holding me, consoling me and telling me that everything would be ok. She left this world unexpectedly and my heart ached every day over her missing presence._

_The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I answered the door to find Omar with a suspicious look on his face._

_“So, you wanted to talk?” he asked._

_“Yeah come in,” I offered as I opened the door wider._

_He walked into the living room, tension filling the air so much that it almost made me nauseous. I took a seat next to him. It was now or never._

_“Omar, I have to tell you something,” I said cautiously._

_The look of annoyance was apparent on his face. “Well? Come on Marissa, stop being such a drama queen. What’s so important that you needed to have me come over here to tell me?”_

_I looked down at my fingers on my lap. “I’m pregnant.”_

_The sound of his breath ceased as I looked up at him, the color on his face draining at my words. We were silent for a few minutes before he spoke up, anger hissing through his tone._

_“Is it even mine?”_

_I stared at him, appalled at what he just said. “Of course it’s yours! You know I’ve only been with you! How could you even say that?”_

_“How am I supposed to believe that? You’re always talking to other guys and I don’t know if you’ve been around with others behind my back. You should just get rid of it.”_

_My mouth dropped at his words, I could feel my heart shattering at his accusations. How could someone that I loved watch me crumble? I had enough. I was going to have this baby with or without him. I stood up from my spot, my back facing towards him as my arms crossed over my chest. “Get out,” I said bluntly._

_Omar got up from his spot and I could feel him approaching from behind me. “You know the deal with me. Don’t come looking for me and start telling everybody that it’s mine. I’ll flat out deny it,” he promised. He bumped my shoulder and headed straight for the door, slamming it behind him._

_My chest was heavy with emotion and once I heard his car drive away from the curb, I instantly started bawling. It was getting hard to breathe and I had to control myself. My hands fell down to my stomach, instinctively protecting my unborn child. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll keep you safe. We don’t need him,” I cried softly. Now one person knew, now all I needed to tell was my dad. I didn’t know what he would do, but I had my suspicions. For now, I had to pull myself together and get ready for my afternoon shift at the restaurant._

_~~~_

_Around 9 p.m., an hour after I came back from work, I heard the door open. “Marissa! Where’s my dinner!” I heard my dad yell. I placed my car keys into my pocket, quickly got to my feet and scrambled to the kitchen. He was already pouring himself a glass as I began to prepare his food. I watched him finish his plate and gulp down two glasses as I cleaned the kitchen up. Never in my life had I felt so scared to speak up, but it had to happen._

_“Dad, I have to tell you something…”_

_“What?” he asked annoyed._

_“U-um, I haven’t been feeling well and I had a suspicion so…”_

_“Spit it out! God you’re annoying,” he interrupted._

_“I’m pregnant,” I whispered._

_“You’re pregnant?” he repeated. All I could do was nod my head. I knew the worst was yet to come._

_He quickly made his way towards me, pinning me to the refrigerator with his hand at my neck while my head came into contact with the magnets stuck to the door. “Who the hell have you been sleeping around with?”_

_His grip on my neck tightened, the stench of his breath filled my nostrils and his spit hit my face with every word._

_“Please,” I strained as I tried to loosen his grip. He finally let go of me, stepping away from me and losing his balance. I coughed and heaved, trying to catch my breath but when I stood up, the back of my dad’s hand came into contact with my face. I could instantly feel the hot shot of pain break through my skin. Then another blow to the face, only this time, he hit the corner of my mouth._

_“Get out and don’t you ever come back, you slut! GET OUT!”_

_Now was my chance to leave. I ran out the door towards my car, locking myself in before turning on the ignition. I drove away, not looking back. My father had never laid a hand on me before, but this was going to be the first, last and only time he did. I pulled in to the nearest gas station and pulled out my phone._

_One ring, two rings, three and I was finally greeted by the sweet voice of my grandmother._

_“Hello?”_

_“Grandma? It’s me Marissa.”_

_“Oh, sweetheart! How are you?” she asked genuinely._

_I tried to hold it in but my voice cracked. “Not good grandma. I got into a fight with dad and he kicked me out. Can I come and stay with you guys?” I cried to her._

_“Yes sweetheart, are you with a friend? Do you want your grandpa to pick you up? There’s a lot of traffic coming from Northridge.”_

_“I’m driving to Encino, grandma. It’s not far, I’ll be there before midnight hopefully if it’s not that bad,” I sniffled._

_“Ok, drive safely. We’ll be up waiting for you.”_

_“Thank you, grandma. I love you.”_

_“We love you too. See you in a bit.”_

_The traffic wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Once I walked into my grandparent’s house, I instantly ran into the arms of my grandmother. I couldn’t hold back my sobs as I tried to tell them what had happened. They weren’t too pleased about my pregnancy, but they were furious about the marks my dad had left on me. There were already bruises on my neck, my right eye was swollen and my lip was split from the impact of his hand. My grandfather, being a retired cop, wanted to take action. I begged him to not do anything about it, not to call any connections down at the police station that he used to work at. He wasn’t happy about it, but he obeyed my wishes._

_They asked about what I was going to do about Omar and suddenly my heart went cold and dark. I told them I didn’t want anything to do with him. He wasn’t going to be a part of my child’s life. I was so tired of sneaking around, letting his family take bets on how long we would last or how we had to keep all our emotions away from the public eye. I simply had enough._

_~~~_

I was thankful for my grandparents; they told me that they would help me and support me. Today’s events hit me hard, but also taught me that I shouldn’t open my heart to any guy. I was gullible, foolish for even thinking that Omar loved me. All he wanted to do was to get in my pants. As I lay on the bed of my room at my grandparent’s house, I swore to myself that the only person that I would love, the only one who would have my heart unconditionally, would be my future child. 


	2. The Encounter

**August 2014**

The sun peeked through the blinds in my room and I could hear my 10 month old daughter, Kylie, whimpering from her crib. I threw the covers off of me and made my way over to her. Her cries instantly quieted once my arms reached down for her. She immediately buried her face on my neck as I cradled her, bouncing from foot to foot.

“Shhh, sweetheart. It’s ok,” I cooed.

I checked to see if she needed a diaper change, and she did. As I changed her, I thought it was time to get her dressed. While I dressed her, I studied her like I always did every morning. She did not have an ounce of Omar in her. Her light brown hair was starting to grow and flick out at the ends. Her chocolate brown eyes were a replica of my own. She was simply a doll in my eyes. My grandparents said that she looked exactly like my mother and me when we were babies. It made me miss her even more, but I knew that she was always with me.

My friend Justin invited me to breakfast this morning so I decided that I shouldn’t be dragging around waiting until last minute to get ready. I would hang out with him for a bit before I had to get ready for work.

I was fortunate to have Justin as my friend. For as long as I could remember, ever since I was a little girl, he lived down the street from my grandparents and I would play with him every time I visited them. Ever since I moved in a year ago, I was glad that he was there to listen to me and give me advice. Not once did it feel like our friendship was strained. He even helped me get a job at a restaurant called the Aroma Café in Studio City where his boyfriend, Adam, was a supervisor. It seemed like my life was getting back on track and my focus was Kylie.

As for my father, he tried to contact me many times after he kicked me out. The calls bugged me so much and I was tired of hearing his unapologetic voicemails, so I had to change my number. He had a suspicion that I was in Encino and he even drove down to find me. It got to the point where he became aggressive, that we had to call the authorities and slam a restraining order against him. It hurt me that it had to come to this with my dad, but I could still feel the whiplash from when he put his hand on me the night I left.

I walked out with my Kylie in one arm and my bag over my other shoulder. I bid my grandparents a good morning and said goodbye, walking out the door to find Justin leaning against my car.

“Morning, sunshine!” he greeted as he tickled Kylie.

“Where to?” I asked as I buckled in Kylie in her car seat.

“The Griddle Café, my dear. I heard great reviews about it.” It was tradition for us to discover new places and most of Justin’s picks were often good choices.

As we were seated at the restaurant, Justin talked non-stop about this charity basketball game that he and Adam were going to attend this Saturday at LA Live. He was overly excited about it because his favorite actor was the host and he couldn’t wait to see him work up a sweat.

“So, who did you say was the host again?” I asked as I bit into my French toast.

“Oh my god, Maris! Remember Josh Hutcherson from Catching Fire? We went to see it together in November? He was the blonde guy you thought was cute too!” he exclaimed.

“The one with the trident?”

“No! The one who was Katniss’ love interest! Anyway, Adam and I were supposed to go, but…” he trailed.

“Justin, I don’t have that money right now. You know I’m trying to save up for an apartment and I can’t afford to be goofing off.”

“Marissa, please, just listen to me,” he huffed. “When Adam told me that he couldn’t make it, he suggested that I take you. He told me that he has someone to cover you. You can call him if you don’t believe me. It’s my birthday present to you.”

I gave him a serious look. “Are you sure about this? You don’t know anyone else who likes him? I’m going to be watching people play basketball on my birthday?” I asked as I gave Kylie a spoonful of banana.

“Please? It includes the meet and greet and picture,” Justin whined. I hated when he begged, but I couldn’t say no to him. If that were me in his spot, I would beg him like no tomorrow to come along with me.

“Fine,” I huffed, giving in. “But you drive. LA Live is crazy.”

~~~

I kissed Kylie goodbye, leaving her in the care of my grandparents before I walked out to Justin’s car parked outside my driveway.

“How long will this last?” I asked as I buckled in my seatbelt.

“Well, happy birthday to you, sweets! It’s going to be a while, so I suggest you turn that frown upside down. We are going to be in the presence of the Josh Hutcherson!” he shrieked.

It made me giggle at how he was acting like a complete fan boy. “You make him sound like a god,” I teased.

“Have you seen his jaw? Christ almighty wanted us to all flail at the sight of that jaw. I mean, it could cut diamonds!”

Our conversation during the drive from Encino was entertaining; we never seemed to stop laughing at each other’s jokes. He even told me about Straight But Not Narrow, the charity putting together the event. By the time we pulled into the parking lot at LA Live, I couldn’t believe all the cars that were there, a bunch of them belonging to teenage girls’ parents. It reminded me of the time when I was obsessed with Jesse McCartney and begged my mom to take me to his concert. Once Justin found a parking space, he was jumping up and down all the way until we formed in line for the photo op.

A lot of conversations that I overheard were of girls giggling excitedly and anticipating the meeting between them and their favorite actor. As Justin talked about Josh and his movie career, I couldn’t help but pay attention to a group of people that walked to the front of the line. There was a petite, blonde woman who I overheard and was believed to be his mom. She had her arm looped through another man; both were talking to a few others who had on a t-shirt for the charity. One of the women with dark hair began to talk to people at the front of the line while others asked the taller guy of the bunch for pictures.

The line began to move, letting the photo op to officially begin. As we got closer to the front entrance to the lobby, I could hear girls shrieking and crying. It was absolutely amusing how one guy could have such an effect on people. It was finally our turn and we went in ten at a time into the lobby, Justin and I rounding up the group. The enclosed space buzzed with anticipation and excitement, a lot of whispers and silent shrieks coming from the people that were ahead of us.

As the line got smaller and the fans began to leave, I got a glimpse of this actor that Justin was so infatuated with. He didn’t stand tall, but he sure towered over me. His broad frame made him all man. His hair was tousled, making it look like he had run his fingers through it.  _Oh how I wished I could run_ my _fingers through it._ His scruff grew in nicely and that smile. Oh my, it was a smile that could brighten up a gloomy day. I could feel the butterflies fluttering all around my stomach when he looked our way. I quickly averted my eyes down to Justin’s feet just as they were leaving my sight and walking towards him.

I could feel myself internally panic. He greeted Justin with a handshake and talked to him for a bit before they took his picture.

“Next!” the photographer ordered.

My feet began to move forward automatically, but I kept my eyes fixed on the floor ahead of me until I saw another pair of feet. I managed to look up, only to have these beautiful hazel eyes look right into mine. His smile was warm and welcoming, instantly making the butterflies flutter even more.

He held his hand out and I noticed his thick, calloused fingers.  _Oh shit, what a fucking turn on._  “Hi, I’m Josh,” he introduced himself.

I felt stupid for standing there and looking like I was mute. I puckered up the courage and took his hand in mine, feeling my palm buzz and my skin flush all over. “Hi, I’m Marissa,” I replied, trying to keep my voice calm.

“Well, Marissa, it’s very nice to meet you. Thank you for coming out today,” he smiled.

We took our position to take the photo, and I could feel his rigid body next to mine as he snaked his arm around me and place his hand on my waist. I could feel the blood boiling in me now and I was hoping that my face was not as red as I thought it turned.

“Thank you so much. Can’t wait to see you out there,” Josh kindly spoke up.

“You’ll do great, I’m sure,” I replied bashfully. It felt strange pulling away from him, like we both weren’t willing to let go of each other. 

Once the photographer was ready for the next group of people, I went over to grab my bag and walked to the tall man that was out taking pictures, to get the autographed poster and wristband to enter the game.

I walked to Justin and before we walked out, he had to nerve to yell out, “Josh! It’s her birthday today!” It was embarrassing and I managed to shove him out the door before Josh could say anything.

~~~

Although it took a while for Josh to come out and play, it was a very entertaining game. I found myself looking over at Josh, who seemed to be carefully eyeing the crowd as if he were looking for someone. He was charming and sweet when he was interviewed, flirting with the cheerleaders and being a total guy with his fellow team mates. Once the game began, all the fans began to flail when Josh ran up and down the court.

When he finally got to our side of the court, he happened to look in my direction and wave. My hand automatically waved back and I couldn’t help but feel like I was the one he was looking for. I took in a better view when he was close by. His arms were fantastic, his legs were muscular and when he would bend over in front of us, I couldn’t help but think about what touching his bubble butt would be like.

When the game was over, the announcer talked about a dance off. Justin wanted to participate, but it seemed like they already had chosen a lucky fan. The dance off was taking place right in front of us and we had the best seats in the show. Every time Josh did a dance move, he would causally look over at us and smile. He must have been doing it constantly because even Justin took notice.

“Oh look, you have an admirer,” Justin teased.

I rolled my eyes, “Please, why would this guy be interested in me? Just because it seemed like he kept eyeing me the entire game?”

“Hey, you never know! Actors are human beings too. They like what appeals to them and you my dear, have definitely caught Josh’s eye,” he chimed.

After the dance off and after random awards and pictures were taken, everyone made their way towards the exit while a few stayed behind. Justin and I thought it would be best to wait it out for a bit because of people shoving and the dreaded traffic. A few fans even had the courage to walk up to Josh and ask for a picture.

“Oh my god, let’s go get another picture!” Justin shrieked as he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me to the court. There were a few people that told the fans that they weren’t allowed on court, but Josh told them that it was okay. He was willing to sign or take any pictures.

Justin threw his camera at me while he approached Josh. He immediately began to ramble on and on to Josh and he was more than willing to listen to him. I felt like we were going to get rushed off the court. “Justin, I think we should take the picture,” I urged.

“Don’t worry about it, Marissa. I’m more than happy to take any pictures,” Josh replied. It surprised me that he remembered my name.

Both guys posed for the camera and I was pleased with the result. I was about to hand over the camera to Justin when he pulled me by the wrist, finding myself in his spot next to Josh. He was covered in sweat and I couldn’t help myself when it came to how irresistible he looked. My mind just happened to wonder how he would look when the hot water from the shower would cascade down his body, down every ripple of his muscles.

“Hello! Marissa! Look at the camera!” Justin ordered, snapping me out of my daydream.

“Oh, haha, sorry,” I apologized. Josh’s arm once again wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him than when we did the photo op. This time, I could smell the hint of his body wash along with his own scent.  _Fuck I think I’m getting high._

“Your friend said it was your birthday today. Happy birthday!” he said as he pulled me in for a hug. Fuck, this is not supposed to happen. The way he embraced me felt like nothing else I had experienced before. I didn’t remember ever feeling this with Omar; I didn’t remember feeling my heart ready and eager to jump out of my chest.

“Thank you so much for coming out. I really appreciate it,” he whispered in my ear. His hot breath hit my cheek as his sweat trickled down and landed along my hairline. It sent shivers up and down my spine and it was evident of the effect that he had on me. I had to pull away before I gave in and did something I might regret.

“You did great, Josh. I bet your team is very proud of your win,” I complimented. “Thanks again for the picture.” Once again the feeling of not wanting to let go was very overwhelming, but we had to break away because he was being rushed to do more interviews.

“You’re very welcome. See you around,” he thanked me with a wink. His simple gestures made my stomach do back flips, and I kind of liked it.

As I turned on my feet, I waved a final goodbye before he turned away to talk to the man who was sticking a microphone to his face. Justin immediately saw how smitten I was and teased me all the way back to the car.

“Well that was fun! Did you enjoy your birthday?” he asked as we pulled out of our parking spot.

“It was great, but I really wished I had Kylie with me to spend the day with,” I frowned. I hated being away from my baby girl. After every work shift, I would always rush home as soon as I could and hold her until she fell asleep. She’s the apple of my eye and no one will ever replace her in my heart.

“Yeah, I mean I would say the same thing, but Josh Hutcherson wasn’t checking me out,” he bantered in a playful manner.

His words made the wheels in my head turn. I hadn’t felt like this towards any other guy other than Omar. How could it be that I was actually starting to have a crush on an actor?  I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to open myself to any other guy. The only man in life who was my father figure was my grandfather. No one will ever come close.

“Justin, it doesn’t matter. It’s not like we’ll see each other again.” It saddened me at what I just said, but little did I know, Josh was going to walk into my life once again unexpectedly and find a way to stay there.       


	3. What a Pleasant Surprise

The day after the basketball game was a busier one than usual at work. A lot more people stopped by Aroma Café and I didn’t stop to take a break. We were short on staff and had hungry customers waiting to get their food ordered. It was hectic going back and forth from the register and the kitchen.  

To my delight, my grandparents decided to stop by with Kylie. My little girl was excited to see me at work, moving about and trying to reach out to me. It only motivated me to keep on going, no matter how hard or how frustrating the job was. My grandparents placed their order with me and moved along the line to pay at the other register. After a few customers passed, I thought I heard a familiar voice, but I brushed it off. After taking two more orders, the familiar voice spoke up again.

“Marissa?”

There was Josh, smiling that same exact smile that he gave me yesterday at the game.

“Josh? What are you doing here?” I asked with a smile, trying to keep the blush down and the stuttering in my voice to a minimum. It amazed me at how natural this guy made me feel, happy for the first time in a long time. He even had my heart racing a little faster than usual.

“I’m here with my family. How come every time I come in, I’ve never seen you?” he wondered.

“You probably came in when I wasn’t working? I’ve been here for almost a year now,” I informed him.

“Well, I’m glad I finally get to see you again,” he smiled.

“Same here. So what would it be for today?” I asked.

He and his family placed their order and I rang them up. I was taking orders for another fifteen minutes before I was assigned to deliver plates. The first order that I had to deliver was my grandparents. They told me that they were going to sit out in the patio so I would know where they would be.

Carrying a plate in each hand, I headed out to their table. I could hear Kylie giggling, like she was interacting with someone, but neither of my grandparents were talking or playing with her.

“Ok, here’s the Aroma Wrap,” I said as I placed the plate in front of my grandmother. “And the salmon burger for Grandpa.”

Kylie began to fuss when she saw me at the table, throwing her arms up and whimpering, “Mama.”

“Shh, princess. Be a good girl for Mama and Papa Bear, ok?” I hushed as I kissed the top of her head. I went back into the kitchen to get a tray and stand to deliver the orders to the next customers. The sensor led to the customers out into the patio again, as I got closer, I realized that they were sitting right by where my family was.

As I set the stand and settled the tray on top, I noticed that I ended up getting Josh’s table.

“Is that your family?” he asked.

I was taken back by the question and everyone at the table could see my reaction, my face gave away the answer without me saying a word.

“Joshua! It’s not polite to be asking that. I’m so sorry, dear,” the blonde woman apologized.

“I was just curious, mom.”

“It’s not a problem and yes, they are,” I clarified to him. I placed the four plates in front of them. “Enjoy your meal,” I finished as I retreated back into the kitchen.

I had a few more orders that went to the patio and every time I walked into the outdoor space, I would see Josh interacting with Kylie in some way. He would wave to her, make silly faces, anything to make her giggle and distract her so she wouldn’t cry when she would see me. She seemed to like him a lot. I smiled at how he was entertaining her and she was over the moon with all the attention he was giving her. After I was done delivering the food, I was sent back to the front to take down orders.  When we didn’t have a long line, my co-worker Lydia, began to question my interaction with Josh.

“So, you never told me that you knew Josh Hutcherson. How did you guys meet?” she asked excitedly.

“We met yesterday at his charity basketball game. My best friend invited me.”

She gave me a look to continue, leaning on the counter with her hand under her chin. “And?”

“I didn’t expect to meet him. Justin told me that our tickets included a meet and greet. When it was finally our turn, I had this feeling that overtook me for a moment. There was this attraction or some kind of connection that was just  _there_. We met him again before we left and he said that he’d see me around. I didn’t know that he would be here.”

“Well, he comes here every so often, but now that he knows that you work here, he’s going to come around more,” she teased as she tried poking my side.

“Lydia, you know I can’t be distracted by a guy right now. Kylie is my priority,” I reminded her. She knew that I was a single mother and a guy was not in the cards for me at the moment.

“You never know. Maybe he’s the light you’re seeking. I think he likes you. I can totally see it in the way he was acting with you. Maybe it’s time for you to start seeing someone, let a guy in for once,” she stated.

“Last time I did that, he ended up leaving me. He left me to handle the whole package on my own and right now, I’m doing just fine,” I retorted.

“You’re going to need to find someone eventually. Don’t you want Kylie to have a father in her life? Well, whatever the reason, I think you guys look cute together.”

I rolled my eyes in a playful manner, letting her think what she wanted. 

Ten minutes had gone by and Adam said I should go on a fifteen minute break. I decided to go and sit with my family, eager to hold Kylie. I pulled out a chair next to my grandmother, picking up a smitten looking Kylie as she gazed over to Josh’s table.

“Busy day, huh Maris?” my grandfather asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“It’s been busier, but I can manage,” I huffed, fanning myself with my free hand.

“Kylie has a friend,” my grandmother said as her eyes trailed over to the next table. I happened to look over and my eyes met with Josh’s. He had on a smile, still interacting with Kylie while she flailed in my arms. At this point, everyone at his table were looking over at us and watching her like she was the cutest thing on Earth.

“Well, I kind of know him,” I said to both of them.

“Oh really? Who is he?” my grandmother asked.

“He’s the celebrity host of the basketball game that I went with Justin yesterday. We just happened to cross paths again,” I murmured.

“Well, I can tell you one thing, Kylie has him in the palm of her hand. Every time he wasn’t looking at her, she was trying to get his attention,” my grandfather stated.

“Oh really?” I asked Kylie in an amused tone. “You have a friend? Why didn’t you let mommy know?”

Her response was to giggle and squirm in her spot. I looked over once more to Josh’s table and I saw the look on his face, like he found out something that he wasn’t expected to know. Did he think that Kylie wasn’t mine? Did he think she was another relative’s baby? He looked surprised and managed to look away.

“Lunch was delicious, honey, but now I think it’s time to go back home. Someone has a kiddie pool that they’d like to use,” my grandmother hinted, trying to catch Kylie’s attention.

“Oh, yes. It’s pretty warm and I think she’ll enjoy playing in the water,” I beamed.

My grandparents got up and started to make their way out of the restaurant. Kylie was starting to get cranky and she wasn’t willing to let me go. As we stepped out, Kylie tightened her grip on me.

“Mama,” she began to cry.

“Shh, baby. I’ll be home in a few hours ok? Mama Bear is going to let you play in your pool,” I reasoned with her.

She began to cry a bit louder as my grandmother tried to pull her away from me. It hurt me when she tried to reach for me, but I had to let her go. “I’ll see you real soon, Kylie. I love you,” my voice cracked.

I bid my grandparents a farewell as I watched Kylie wiggle out of their arms. Just when I was about to walk in, Josh’s family was at the door, walking to their cars.

“Marissa?” Josh spoke up as his family began to walk away.

“Oh hi, Josh. Did you enjoy your lunch?” I asked fiddled with my shirt.

“Yeah, it was good.” He was anxious, scratching the back of his neck while his eyes strayed around. “Listen, Marissa, I was wondering if…you’d like to go out sometime?”

I was frozen in my spot. I really didn’t know how to react to his question. “Um, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I stuttered, making my way back in to the restaurant.

“Marissa, please listen to me,” Josh pleaded as he followed me back in. I huffed, frustrated that he didn’t take my answer seriously. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I spun on my heels to face him once more to listen to what he had to say.

“I feel like we could become really good friends if you give me a chance. There’s something about you that makes me want to know more about you. You have this mysterious part of you that I want to discover. We’re just going out as friends.”

The look on his face was genuine and I couldn’t say no to his offer. I was weak when I looked into his hypnotizing, hazel eyes. A part of me wanted to say yes, something inside made me want to see how this friendship could work. The other part forced me to think about Kylie. I promised I would work hard for her, to be the best parent I could be and so I could give her everything her heart desired.

“But, you don’t know anything about me,” I pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter. We can learn about each other along the way. Please?”

I didn’t want to give in; I would be breaking my promise that I had made myself the night that my dad kicked me out. A part of me still felt cold, yet at the same time I was lonely. I was afraid too. The wall that I built was high and strong, but Josh seemed determined to climb over it. I didn’t know if I wanted to give in, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

Without giving a definite answer, I walked over to the register and pulled out a strip of receipt paper. I jotted down my number and handed it over to him. He seemed pleased that I gave in to his offer.

“Thank you, I promise that you won’t regret this,” he smirked.

 _I sure hope not. I’m starting to fall for that smile,_ I thought.

“I’ll see you later?” I hinted without sounding too desperate for his call.

“Very soon,” he replied. He took one last look at the number on the paper, waved goodbye and walked out of the restaurant.

It then hit me like a ton of bricks. What had I done? Why the hell did I give him my number? I’m so stupid and gullible for thinking I had a chance with him. Regret bubbled up in my stomach. I told myself there was no point in getting my hopes up; he wasn’t going to call. Josh was the type of guy that had a lot of girls flock to him now that his celebrity status was through the roof, so why would he choose me to be his friend? Was I going to get hurt again? The possibility of falling for him was starting to outweigh everything at this point. I liked him, a little more than I should.

Time would only tell when Josh would call. I just prayed that I wasn’t going to be wandering around in the dark.


	4. Taking Chances

I was throwing clothes onto my bed, deciding what I should wear for dinner with Josh today. To my surprise, he ended up calling me the day after our encounter at the restaurant. I came close to not answering since the number was unfamiliar. When I did answer, my heart began to race when the sound of his deep voice spoke through on the other line.

~~~

_“Hello?”_

_“Hey Marissa, it’s Josh.”_

_“Oh, Josh, hi! How are you? I’m glad you called,” I began, my voice starting to crack._

_“I was going to call you yesterday, but I figured that you might’ve been tired,” he admitted. “So, about my offer…”_

_I could feel my heart in my stomach._

_“Are you free this Friday?”_

_“Y-yeah, I’m free,” I stuttered. Why was I so nervous? Could it be the fact that I was going to see him again?_

_“Great! I know a place by the beach where they serve excellent food. You can dress casually. Is 5:30 okay for you?” he anxiously asked._

_“Definitely, I’ll text you my address,” I grinned._

_“That’s fine with me! See you then!”_

_We said our goodbyes and hung up. I collapsed on my bed, giggling like a teenager who got asked out on her first date. However, I knew that I couldn’t get ahead of myself. Josh said we would be great friends, but I dreaded the feeling of actually falling for him. It scared the living hell out of me. The thing I feared was letting myself become vulnerable and fall for someone who may not ever feel the same._

_Kylie was in her crib, gurgling and playing with a toy. I went over to her and lifted her into my arms; her little self in my embrace calmed me._

_“Well baby girl, it seems like things are looking up,” I whispered. “At least I hope they are.”_

~~~

“Oh that shirt looks nice,” my grandmother pointed out to a print that no longer suited me.

“I wore this once before I had Kylie. I don’t think it will look good on me anymore,” I huffed.

“Marissa, you look the same as you did before you gave birth. You can thank Justin for dragging you to his Zumba classes.”

I remember the days when he would drag me out of the house to take the Zumba class that he taught. As much as it was a pain in the ass, it also got me dancing out any frustration I had in me. Kylie was squealing for attention from her crib as I approached her.

“What do you think, princess? Should I wear this or not?”

She replied in her baby language that consisted of a bunch of mumbled up sounds. I lifted my shirt that I had on currently and let the suggested top flow down over me. It fit me a little looser than before, but at least it still looked new.

I walked over to the full length mirror, taking in my reflection. I admit it, I looked good. My flushed cheeks gave a hint of excitement.

“Perfect,” my grandmother complimented as she walked behind me. “You’ll make a great first impression.”

I smiled and thanked her. Although I had thoughts about the way I looked, I let her think what she wanted about my appearance.

~~~

Around twenty minutes past five, I was in the living room with my family. My grandparents were watching a show while Kylie sat on a blanket in the middle of the living room, playing her with toys. My fingers fiddled around, twisting the ring on my finger, my legs wouldn’t stop shaking and my feet couldn’t stop tapping. I was nervous. I was mostly nervous because it was with Josh. Would we get recognized on the streets? Will I get too boring for him and he’ll never want to hear about me again?

The doorbell rang and I swear I felt like my heart leaped into my throat. I walked over to the door, trying to keep my nerves down to a minimum. My sweaty palm slowly turned the knob, only to find myself face to face with Josh. He looked cool and casual with his flannel shirt over a white tee and dark jeans. It didn’t matter what he wore, he still managed to make me choke on a gasp.

“Hey, Marissa!” he greeted me cheerfully.

“Josh! Hi! Please come in,” I insisted as I held the door open. He walked in and I could smell the hint of his cologne, the same one that made me feel like I was floating on a cloud.

Once I closed the door, I heard my grandfather yell, “Marissa! I want to meet your boyfriend!”

I could feel my cheeks flush at the comment and Josh chuckled at my response.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just a little overprotective because he was a cop,” I informed Josh. “You’ll be okay, he doesn’t bite like the others.”

We walked over to the living room where my grandparents were starting to get up from their seats. It was all starting to feel awkward, like when a teenager was meeting their partner’s parents.

“Grandma, Grandpa, this is Josh. We met at the game,” I managed to calmly introduce him.

“Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you both,” Josh smiled as he held out his hand to shake both of them.

“It’s very nice to meet you too.” My grandmother already liked him from the smile that she had on her face.

“So, Josh, have you ever been convicted of a felony. Ever been arrested? Any speeding tickets you’d like to clear out before you leave with my granddaughter?” my grandfather asked in a stern, heavy voice. From the look on Josh’s face, I could tell he was internally panicking at how serious Grandpa was and a little intimidated at how he towered over him.

“Grandpa! He’s fine. He won’t do anything dumb,” I scolded gently.

A shriek erupted from Kylie and we all turned to face her. She wasn’t very happy about the lack of attention she was getting. I walked over to her and picked her up, settling her on my hip, and walked back over to Josh.

Kylie’s eyes twinkled with amusement, happy to see her familiar, new friend right in front her. She tried to reach over to Josh, but I tried to keep a distance if he didn’t know how to handle a baby.

“Josh, this is my daughter Kylie.” The tone in my voice suddenly lowering, afraid of his reaction 

 “Hi, Kylie!” Josh said. She tried to leap out of arms and into his. Her little whimpers made it evident that she wanted to be with Josh now.

“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. He held out his arms without hesitation and Kylie went with him without a fuss. She was finally at ease, smiling and studying his face.  Her tiny hands explored every inch of him, his nose, his jaw, she even giggled when he pretended to capture her fingers and bite them. Her sweet laughter filled the air around us, making us all feel happy at what was going on. Then, the sweetest thing happened; Kylie rested her head on Josh’s shoulder while he patted her back. The sight of them made my heart swell; I never knew that Josh was such a soft character. I had to pull my self back from thinking of what was to come next if he held her any longer.

“I think we should get going,” I softly spoke up as I tried to pry Kylie off of Josh. She began to cry a bit and I handed her over to my grandmother. A few seconds with Josh and she was already hooked. I couldn’t blame her, he really was easy on the eyes.

“Okay, it was really nice meeting you,” Josh thanked with that thousand dollar smile of his. He went over to a whimpering Kylie and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Bye, princess. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Bye you guys! Bye my princess, I’ll see you later,” I said as I placed a big kiss on Kylie’s cheek. Now, it was time to see what Josh had in store.

~~~

Josh drove towards the coast. We talked all along the way to Malibu, where he knew about this restaurant that served the best burgers in town. Our talk in the car was very at ease, first starting with small talk and anything that came to mind. When we arrived at the restaurant, Josh was gentleman the whole time, opening the door to the restaurant for me and pulling out my chair to sit.

After we placed our order, Josh and I began to talk about our lives. At first I didn’t know if it was okay for me to share anything, my life has been so complicated for the last couple of years and I didn’t know if it was going to make him feel uncomfortable about it. He talked about his life, moving from Kentucky to California, the acting jobs that he had in the past and future projects. He was comfortable being around me and I felt the same, I was gaining his respect and trust.

As our food was placed in front of us, he began to turn the tables on me. Now it was his turn to start the questioning. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why do you live with your grandparents?”

I tried hard not to let it show on my face how sensitive that subject was. “My dad kicked me out when I told him I was pregnant. I haven’t been in touch with him since,” I said. I was going to avoid what he did to me as much as possible.

“Didn’t your mom stop him from kicking you out?”

I could feel my stomach twist in knots. “She died the summer before my junior year in high school. I was kind of left on my own to support myself. I had all these plans on applying to UCLA and live my life like any other student, but I had to grow up very fast. My dad hasn’t been the same since. He’s been an emotional wreck ever since the day we got the phone call about the news. I had to work and support myself financially. After I graduated high school, my dad pretty much turned into an alcoholic. I didn’t want to leave him alone and I stood by him.”

“I’m so sorry,” Josh apologized.

“It’s okay. I’m doing fine now. My grandparents took me in and I’m so grateful. I love them so much for letting me in and helping me when I needed it the most.” I tried really hard to smile, but I was close to breaking down. The only one who knew anything about my family situation was Justin and even then it was still kind of hard to let him in.

My hands were settled on the table when Josh reached over to hold my hand in his. His thumb began to draw circles on my skin, instantly feeling the spark igniting. “You can count on me, Marissa. I’ll be there if you need a friend to listen to you,” he whispered.

I pulled my hand out his, regretting the move when I saw the disappointment on his face when I did. “Thank you, Josh. I’m usually a really private person, but I feel like I can trust you,” I murmured.

“That’s because you can,” he replied. “I’ll be there for you.”

His promise was something that I would carry deeply with me.

~~~

After dinner, the sun was barely setting in the distance. Josh asked if I would like to walk on the beach for a bit. I wanted to feel my toes squish the sand as it came into contact with the water. Along the way, Josh asked minor things about me like when I started working at the café, my childhood and lastly, about Kylie. We reached the wet sand and began to walk along, letting the water rush to our feet.

“So how old is she?” he asked.

“She turns one on October 4th. I can’t believe it,” I huffed. “It seemed like yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital.”

“What about her father? You haven’t said anything about him,” he wondered.

Just the thought about talking to Josh about Omar made my head spin. As I looked up at him, his gentle, warm soul settled on me. This guy has known me for almost a week and I could tell that his kind spirit was willing to look beyond the surface. There was nothing wrong about being curious.

I sat down on the sand, patting the spot next to me so he could sit. He took his place next to me. As the last rays of the sun warmed us, my eyes settled on the horizon as I began to talk.

“My grandparents and Justin are the only ones who know about Omar. I met him after I graduated high school through mutual friends. We began to date, but his family didn’t approve of our relationship. His parents already had someone in mind for him, someone of their status and background. We tried to keep our relationship under wraps, usually hanging out where people wouldn’t recognize him. It was always like that with us, we had to hide. I loved him so much and I gave myself to him, dedicating a lot to him, but it wasn’t enough.

“When I told him I was pregnant, he questioned whether it was his.” Tears began to prick my eyes as I tried to push through. “He told me to get rid of it. How could he be so heartless? The baby wasn’t to blame but he wanted me to abort. His last words to me were not to find him or say a word saying that it was his because he would deny it. The same day I told Omar I was pregnant, I told my dad and that’s when he kicked me out.”

It was silent between us, all that could be heard were the waves crashing onto shore. My heart was full, heavy with everything I just told Josh. I was relieved at telling someone other than those close to me about what happened, but I still felt the guilt and the pain that wouldn’t leave my chest.

I was afraid to look at Josh. From the corner of my eye, his face reflected anger, his mouth twisted and his eyes bored me. “He hasn’t taken any responsibility for what he’s done?” he asked in a clipped tone.

I shook my head as a few tears rolled down my face. “From that moment on, I promised to be the best parent I could be. It’s a steep climb, but Kylie makes me work harder for her. I need to protect her from any threats and to give her everything she wants,” I stated as my voice started to shake.

“What’s going to happen when she asks about him?” he wondered.

“I’ll tell her the truth. Her father wasn’t ready to step up to the plate. I don’t know what the future holds, maybe one day we’ll have someone replace him.”

We both stayed silent for a while before Josh began to scoot closer. His arm wrapped around me, pulling me towards him. I placed my head on Josh’s shoulder, my chest aching as I choked back a sob.

“I wish I could take the pain away, Maris,” he said in hushed tones. It made my heart soften when he used my nickname. His hand ran up and down my arm as his head rested on top of mine. “You and Kylie deserve the best and if that asshole didn’t want to stay, it’s his loss. He doesn’t have the balls to be a parent. Kylie loves and looks up to you, and that says a lot.”

The words were stuck, all I could do was nod and move in closer than I already was. I felt safe in Josh’s arms, they were protective and strong. If this friendship was going to last, I knew that deep down, he was going to go through many lengths in order to maintain it.

As the sun began to set, we decided it was time to head back. The car ride home was a peaceful one, it felt like all the bottled up emotions were washed out to sea. Although I wasn’t completely relieved and how I was still bitter about the whole situation, Josh made me feel better than I ever felt in months. I guess the opening up to others part was just what I needed. My co-workers never knew about my life and I didn’t have many friends that I could trust. Somehow, Josh was putting forth the effort and it didn’t seem to faze him that I had a kid and carried emotional baggage.

However, I couldn’t let myself fall for him. No matter how much I enjoyed being and talking with him or how much I liked him, I wasn’t ready to let any guy in. The damage was done and I didn’t want to deal with the pain of disappointment. Josh was a free man from what he’s told me about his recent breakup with his girlfriend who was also a co-star, and he could go around and be with any other girl, but not me. I wasn’t the kind of girl he dated. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t stung that I wasn’t his type. Overall, I was happy with where we were. I didn’t want to push it.

When we arrived home, Josh walked me to my door. Once again, it felt like we were teenagers saying goodnight at the end of the date.

“Thank you for dinner, Josh. I’m glad that you called,“ I said genuinely.

“Thank you for accepting my offer to go out,” he smiled back. His hands were in his pocket as he balanced himself on his heels. He scratched the back of his neck, it must have been a nervous habit of his. I broke the tension, hoping it would alleviate the awkwardness.

“Well, I should get going. Kylie is waiting for me,” I slightly laughed. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, very soon. I’ll call you later in the week if you’re not that busy,” he added.

“Okay, well…bye,” I meekly said. I decided to go in for a hug; he wasn’t expecting it and I caught him off guard. Once it clicked, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, securing me against him. The slightest hint of his cologne filled my senses and it made me want to hold on longer. As much as I wanted to stay that way, I had to pull away. To my surprise, Josh leaned down, cradled my face and kissed my cheek. The lingering of his lips on my skin sent a buzz through my veins. My cheek warmed at the touch and it felt like nothing in the world mattered, all my cares went out the window.

I smiled at him, letting my eyes look at him with endearment. “Bye,” I whispered, getting my key ready to open the door.

“Bye. Tell Kylie that I said goodnight. We’ll see each other very soon, I promise.”

I smiled and waved goodbye as I was stepping into the house. Once I watched him get back to his car, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. My heart was already fluttering when I was around Josh, but my mind wondered how long I was going to be able to stay that way. I feared that no matter how hard I tried, the fluttering was going to gradually turn into skipped heartbeats, as if my heart was enchanted by something special, something that felt a lot like affection. 


	5. The First Steps

**Josh**

“Is the gift wrapped yet?” I asked Heather and Andre as I fixed my hair from my room.

“Yes, it’s all wrapped and ready to go,” Heather responded as she headed out the door. “I’m leaving now! Tell Kylie happy birthday and please tell Marissa that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the party!” The door slammed, leaving Andre and I in the house.  

Today was Kylie’s first birthday and I was excited to spend the day with her. When Marissa said that she was going to throw her a birthday party, I was thrilled when she invited me. It wasn’t going to be a big thing, just a few family members from her mom’s side were supposed to show up. For some odd reason, I was nervous to go to the party. At first I was hesitant, not knowing how her family would react when they would me, but she assured me that everything would be under control.

Marissa and I have been friends for over a month and a half now. With each day that passed, I felt her loosen up to me. Of course, there were times when it felt like she was keeping things hidden away, but I never pushed her into telling me more. The more time I spent with her and Kylie, the more I was started to fall for her. Sure she had me ever since the basketball game, but my feelings for her had crossed over into wanting to be more than just friends with her.

She’s been over to my place a few times and she even made friends with Andre and Heather. I was glad that those two did everything they could to make her feel comfortable and welcomed. They both couldn’t keep their hands off of Kylie either, playing with her and doing silly things to make her laugh. Kylie even managed to take her first steps, holding onto Marissa’s hands as she played in my living room. She struggled a bit, falling after two steps. Overall, Kylie was a joy to have over. We were both getting attached to each other and her mom didn’t mind at all.

“So, did you tell Marissa yet?” Andre asked as he leaned against the doorway to my room.

“About what?” I responded as I fixed my shirt.

“About you going to promote Paradise Lost in Paris? You guys spend almost every two days with each other and you haven’t brought it up?”

 _Fuck._ I tried to avoid thinking about that as much as I could. I was dreading to go to Paris to promote this movie. Not only did I have to be there for a week, I had to sit through press with my ex-girlfriend. We didn’t end on a good note and I wasn’t looking forward to seeing her at all.

“No, but I’ll tell her today,” I promised.

“Okay, well we should get going.”

We left the house with the gifts in hand. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Kylie’s face when she opened them, but most of all, I couldn’t wait to see Marissa.

**Marissa**

The backyard was decorated with balloons and streamers, all in pastel colors. It was a beautiful day out and everyone was enjoying each other’s company. My cousins were keeping Kylie occupied while I ran in and out of the house to get things set up.

“So everyone has something to eat?” my grandmother asked as the doorbell rang.

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied as I made my way towards the door. Standing there was Josh and Andre, bearing gifts.

“Hey you guys! Please come in!”

Josh was the first to walk in, pulling me into his arms. I would never get tired of feeling them around me. Each hug felt different from the last and it comforted me on a whole new level.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Josh asked as he pulled away slightly, leaving his hands on my waist.

“She’s right here and she needs to change her shirt,” my grandfather spoke up coming from outside as he held Kylie in his arms.

“Oh no,” I whined as I walked over to him. Once Kylie laid eyes on Josh, she instantly began to squirm in my arms and shriek as loud as she could.

“It’s nice to see you again, sir,” Josh spoke up, still intimidated by him.

“Glad you guys could make it. Everyone is out back,” he told the guys.

“Andre, save me a seat, I’ll be right there,” Josh told him as he patted him in the back before he turned to me. “Do you mind if we talk for a minute?”

“Um, yeah. Come on,” Josh trailed behind me as I led the way to my room. I was suddenly worried about what he needed to tell me. Everything was going well with us and I couldn’t think about anything that could be wrong.

We reached my room and I plopped Kylie down on my bed as I began to rummage around the drawer with her clothes.

“So, what is it that you need to tell me?” I asked. For a minute, my brain thought that he was going to bring something up that I wasn’t ready to discuss.  _Could it be about us?_

“Maris, I’m so sorry that I’m telling you last minute, but remember that movie that I did with my ex?” I nodded, still confused at what he was trying to get to. He was now sitting on my bed with Kylie next to him.

“Well, I have to go to Paris next week for press. I’ve been dreading this moment, but I have to do it.”

The way he spoke about it reflected his thoughts, he didn’t want to go at all. I really don’t know what happened between him and the girl and I didn’t want to know. All that Josh told me was that the distance was hard for them; also she barely wanted to visit him when she had the time.

“How long will you be gone?” I asked quietly. Kylie was the only one in the room making gurgling noises as she tried to steady herself on Josh so she could stand up on the bed.

"Just a week, but I don’t plan on staying there the whole time. Thank goodness that there are no premieres for this movie. It’s just an indie flick, nothing special,” he added.

“Oh, well, I just hope that you have a safe flight to and from your destination,” I grinned. “That means that you won’t be here for your birthday, huh?”

“I was planning on doing something a while back, but I had to cancel it. Maybe when I get back,” Josh said hopefully. By now, Kylie was examining his anchor necklace while his arm was around her to support her in case she lost her balance. For some reason, it felt weird knowing that he was going to be absent for a while. I was so used to seeing him almost every other day and I knew that the days ahead of us were going to be hard.

“Oh, but Kylie and I already got you a birthday gift,” I mentioned as I walked over to my closet to pull out the gift bag. “I’ll just go ahead and give it to you now. We hope you like it.”

Josh’s face lit up as he took the bag from my hand. “You guys, you didn’t have to,” he cooed at Kylie who was already about to open the gift. He put her down on the floor and began to open the bag, pulling out a leather jacket. He held it up to take in the sight.

“Marissa, you  _really_ shouldn’t have,” he said more firmly.

“I know, but I found pictures of you wearing leather jackets when you were out promoting the Hunger Games. Since the premieres of Mockingjay are coming up and you have to travel to places where it’s freezing, we thought that you could use a comfy jacket,” I explained as I bent down and dressed Kylie.

He placed the jacket on my bed and walked over to me, enveloping me in his arms. My limp arms wrapped around his neck as I leaned in and took in his scent. The light scruff that he had going on tickled my shoulder as he rested his chin there.

“Thank you so much, my beautiful ladies,” he thanked as he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and lifted Kylie into his arms, spinning her around above his head and letting her sweet laughter fill the room. Once he was done, he placed Kylie down and she began to crawl her way out of the room. He left his gift in my room for the meantime and we both walked out and into the kitchen, to see if anything needed to be taken out.

“Do you want to see the cake?” I asked him as I lifted the top of the box to expose a semi-personal sized cake. “We have another one, just in case she decides to smother it all over her face,” I giggled.

“It’s cute! Does she know how to blow out candles?” he questioned as he eyed the numbered candle right next to it.

“Not really, all she can do is make the noise as if she were exaggerating the blow. I tried teaching her, but she’s not grasping it.”

“Aww, what a cutie pie.”

We took a few things like extra napkins and cups to bring outside. Just when we were about to go out back, we found Kylie standing and walking on her own while holding on to the couch for support.

“Oh my god, Josh, she’s walking!” I exclaimed.

Josh was the closest to her and he put down the bag of cups, going down on his knees and reaching his arms out to her. “Come on, baby girl! You’re almost there!” he encouraged.

The look on Kylie’s face was of pure determination. Her brows furrowed as her tongue stuck out a bit. She was wobbly, but still managed to stay on her feet. I took the opportunity to take out my phone and snap some pictures of her. Once she got closer, her arms reached out in front of her, eager to walk into Josh’s arms.

 

I know major milestones in a child’s life were special, I never thought the sight of Kylie walking would bring tears to my eyes. A thought came into my mind that scared me a bit. I remembered the first time that Josh took me to Malibu and we talked on the beach, about how hopefully Kylie and I will have someone come into our lives and replace Omar. What if that person was Josh? What if he was the missing piece to the puzzle? Was I ready to let my true feelings for Josh to come forward? No, not just yet. He was going to be gone for a week and then be busy non-stop in the next month. The more he traveled, the less his feelings for me (if he had any) would grow. He could be a best friend and nothing more.

Kylie took the last step and fell into Josh’s arms, giggling and smiling at our reactions to her accomplishment. Josh picked her up and swung her around. “You did it, princess! You’re finally walking!”

I walked over and hugged them, tears still streaming down my eyes. “She did it!” I repeated as I kissed Kylie on the cheek.

“Hey, Maris, don’t cry. This is a happy moment!” Josh calmly comforted me as he wiped the tears away from my cheeks.    

“I know, I’m just so proud of her,” I gleefully responded as Kylie began to play with my hair. “She must really like you, to have this affect on her. I know the feeling.”

The words slipped out before I could take them back. I didn’t want to scare Josh away or even screw everything that we had so far. Josh could tell that I slipped a private thought and pulled me in for a hug. “Don’t be embarrassed, you two have grown on me and you make me happy.”

I managed to smile before I changed the subject. “I think we should go out. People are going to wonder where we are.”

We both stepped out with smiles on our faces. A few of my cousins recognized Josh and casually asked if they could take pictures with them. I sat with Justin and Andre as they made small talk, waiting patiently for Josh to be finished with the pictures. It got to the point where I felt like he needed to be saved.

“Sorry, ladies, but Josh wants to eat,” I grinned as I took Josh’s hand and lead him to the table with food.

“Your family is nice,” Josh complimented.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, they are. Just watch when they get drunk, they get a lot louder and rowdy.”

“Oh I’d love to see that!”

We took our seats and as we ate, we watched three of my cousin’s kids play with Kylie, blowing bubbles and running around her.

“She’s so happy,” Josh pointed out.

“I know, maybe because you’re here. I think she’s in love with you,” I joked.

“Already a year old and she has good taste,” he winked.

I playfully hit his arm at his comment. He was right though, what girl wouldn’t want Josh to themselves? Kylie wobbled her way back to Josh, giving him a flower and a weed or two before crawling back to the kids. The sight warmed my heart and I loved every minute of it.

Then it was time for the cake and we had everyone gather at the main table with Kylie in her highchair. I placed the cake in front of her, watching her expression on her face light up. She had her hands on her cheeks while her mouth hung in surprise. I lit the candle and placed her birthday crown on her head.

We began to sing her happy birthday and she was smiling and giggling non-stop. The family all crowded around to take pictures, but Josh was the one who caught the perfect moment when she was about to blow the candle.

 

“That’s perfect! Will you send that to me?” I asked as I peeked over his shoulder and down to his phone.

“Yeah, but I’m going to need one of the two of you,” he replied as he set up the camera.

I walked over to pick up Kylie who already had some frosting smeared all over her mouth and fingers. “Kylie, look over there for Josh.”

Josh was ready and took the picture. Andre came from behind Josh and took his phone out of his hands. “Okay, time for a picture of the three of you,” he said loudly.  

He walked over to us and wrapped his arm around us. His took some frosting on his finger from Kylie’s cheek and tapped the tip of my nose. Before I could protest, Kylie touched Josh’s face and smeared frosting along his jaw. We all laughed at one another at how silly we looked. In the meantime, Andre captured a few photos of us laughing and enjoying the moment and when we finally calmed down, we took the picture. In that moment, everything felt  _right._

“Aww, you guys look like such a happy family!” Justin complimented with excitement.

Justin’s words made me realize at how much I wanted a family of my own, how much I wanted for Kylie to have a father.  She was so comfortable with Josh but I had to stop and proceed with caution. Yes, Josh and I were flirty whenever we were with each other, but was this only just a friendship? If Josh were to like me, he would have said something by now, right?

I knew that I was getting ahead of myself. As much as my feelings for Josh grew by the minute, I was still scared because I knew that Josh could easily have whoever he wanted. I didn’t see myself as his first choice, or even his second choice. It was okay that I didn’t fit what Josh looked for in a girl, now it was time for me to accept it and to believe it.


	6. Desires of the Heart

**Josh**

The first official day in Paris seemed to drag on, like when you drive through the desert and see no sign of civilization for miles. I was glad that Andre was able to come along with me because I knew that Claudia was going to do whatever she could in order to cling to me. We landed yesterday and I was exhausted, but I still managed to text Marissa that we made it safely to our hotel. I replayed our last conversation on the phone before we left.

~~~

_“I’m going to miss you and Kylie so much,” I told Marissa in a pained voice._

_“You’ll be okay without us, Josh. Besides, we’re probably annoying you already.” Her slight giggle gave away something._

_“It’s okay to miss each other, Marissa. You’re already growing on me.”_

_She remained silent, stunned and left speechless I assumed. I could hear Kylie gently weeping in the background and I knew that she would need attention soon._

_“Josh, please.”_

_“Marissa, please listen to me when I tell you that I care about you. I know it’s bad timing that I’m telling you this now, but it’s true. I care about you and Kylie very much.”_

_Suddenly, I felt guilty for even saying such things when she probably didn’t even feel the same way. It was probably all in my head, but I really hoped it wasn’t. My feelings for her were true and it wasn’t just a silly crush. A little time went by when I could hear her sigh on the other side of the line._

_“I think we should talk about this when you get home. You’re going to be so far away and I think it’s best if we talk face to face,” she finally spoke up in a hushed tone. “That doesn’t mean that I won’t miss you. I will, we both will. A lot.”_

_It made me smile because this was the most positive sign that I’d gotten from her so far._

_“Okay, I’ll text you when I arrive over there.”_

_“Bye, Josh. Kylie and I will be expecting your text.”_

_There was a pause, like when two teens are waiting for someone to hang up. “Are you still there?” I spoke up and finally heard a slight laugh._

_“Yeah, I kind of don’t want to hang up, but I know you have stuff to do.”_

_“I’ll be back before you know it,” I replied._

_“Okay, I’ll let you go this time. We’ll be expecting your message.” I could practically envision her smiling brightly._

_We both hung up and in that moment, I just wanted to get the trip over with as soon as possible._

_~~~_

I lay down on the bed, looking over the schedule for the next day. Not long after I sent another text to Marissa and almost immediately I heard my phone alert me to a new message. Only this time, it didn’t ring the special sound that I had for Maris.  _Oh please no._

I picked up my phone to find a text from the one person that I was trying to avoid.

 _“Are you here yet? Do you want to grab something to eat? Just the two of us?”_ The text read. I honestly don’t know why Claudia insisted on keeping this up. We broke up because of the long distance and even when we called it off, she was still blowing up my cell phone with voice mails and texts apologizing and how she wanted me back. I feared that one day she would show up at the tree house and beg me to take her back. Fortunately that hadn’t happen.

“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath.

“What’s up?” Andre asks as he walked in from his adjoining room.

I ran my hand through my hair. “Claudia asked if I was here and if I wanted to have dinner with her. Just the two of us.” I was beyond tired and I didn’t feel like going out.

Andre rolled his eyes. “Don’t reply. Maybe she’ll think that you’re still on your way here.”

“But if I don’t answer, she’s going to be texting me non-stop.”

“But if you do and tell her no, she’ll ask you what room number you’ll be in so she can stop by or drop off food. She’s the last person that you want invading your space while you’re here,” he reasoned.

“I guess you’re right. I won’t reply. Do you want to order room service? I don’t feel like going out again.”

“Yeah, we don’t need to go out. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the day because tomorrow, it’s all work for you.”

~~~

The next morning, I felt like crap. I did not want to do this press today because I knew that Claudia was going to sit next to me and do whatever she could do to wrap herself around me. The only thing that was pulling me through was the thought of Marissa. How lovely her smile was, how her brown hair bounced with every step and especially the way she warmed my soul. I couldn’t get enough of her and I knew that if she were here with me, she would put me at ease.

“Get up!” I heard Andre knocking on the door.

I dragged myself into the shower, getting thoroughly clean. I tried very hard to get mentally prepared, but all I could think about was Marissa cheering me on and Kylie reaching out for me. I smiled to myself, thinking how she would cuddle up to me when I held her.

 _Just a few more days, baby girl and I’ll be home,_ I thought to myself. It was funny how I treated her as my own child. I didn’t mind though, her real father would never be in her life and I would be glad and honored to take his place if I was given the chance. I hoped it would be a matter of time for her Marissa to accept me more than just her friend and maybe become something more.

~~~

To my surprise, the press wasn’t as bad as I feared. Thank God, Benicio sat in between Claudia and me so it wasn’t awkward at all. We were on a break and I was sitting with Andre, scrolling through the pictures of Marissa and Kylie on her birthday once more. I feel like someone was looking over my shoulder, breathing down my neck.

“Who are they?” Claudia asked as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

“That’s my friend and her baby. It was during her birthday last week,” I responded as I brushed her off me.

“Why do you have so many pictures of them? Are you guys together now?” she questioned.

I’d had enough and I was ready to put my foot down. “So what if we are together? Why would it bother you? At least she comes and visits me.”

Her mouth dropped, her face turning red. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. We’re through. We’ve been through, Claudia. It’s time for you to move on and find someone who will be there for you. I already found someone else.”

Her face was full of fury as she stomped her way out of the room. A few eyes were on us, but I didn’t care. It upset me that she was trying to start something over Marissa. I sat down, clenching my fists.

“Well, maybe that will put her in her place. But, you’re kind of making me wonder about something,” Andre hinted. “Do you like Marissa?”

At the sound of her name, my fists relaxed against my legs. I could feel my face heat up a bit. This was Andre, I couldn’t lie to him. “I do, I like her a lot,” I murmured.

“Then why don’t you tell her? What’s holding you back?”

“She’s scared. I can tell in the way she acts when she’s with me. I want to hold her and tell her that it’s okay, that I won’t hurt her. But what Omar did, it scarred her,” my words spilled out. “Before we came here, I talked to her on the phone. I told her that she was growing on me and she sort of hesitated, like I caught her off guard.”

“Well, I think that when we get back, you should talk to her. I feel like she likes you, but like you said, her past scarred her pretty bad so she’s holding back,” Andre reasoned.

“I’m determined to make those scars fade, I just hope she lets me in.”

~~~

The next few days, I had interviews, more press and a few photo shoots. The majority of the photo shoots were of me and Claudia. The one that was my least favorite was the “sexiest” of them all. She was in a tank top and panties while I was in a tank top and jeans. The poses were a bit provocative, giving the illusion that we were a couple, but we were long done with that. It annoyed the hell out of me when she did whatever she could to get my attention. It was difficult to get into the right mood, even with how flirty Claudia acted, when all I wanted was to see Marissa in that little number, or maybe even less.

As much as she was bothersome on most days, I did my best to block her out. The only people that I had in mind were Marissa and Kylie, thinking about all the good and happy times that we’d spent together.

On my last night I tossed and turned in bed, waking up every five minutes. To say I was excited to finally see Marissa again was an understatement. I thought about what I should tell her once I got home. Should I tell her how I feel? Ask her to give us a chance? What if she says no? I doubted she would, I could see in the way she was with me and I knew she saw how Kylie was getting attached to me. I didn’t care if she already had a daughter, I could make it work. I didn’t know what my family would say about this, but I didn’t care. I knew that with time, they would accept her.

I rolled to my side and tried hard to get some sleep, but all I could envision was Marissa walking towards me as I closed my eyes. She began to crawl on to the bed as I settle myself on my back.

“I miss you, Josh,” she whispered as her hands reached up and slipped her shirt off. All she was left in was a black corset and matching panties. She was beautiful, she simply left me breathless.

My hands fell to the waistband of my shorts and briefs, kicking them away and letting my hand find my hardened shaft. I could see Marissa push her panties aside as she slowly rubbed my cock in between my folds, her arousal coating me with her sweet nectar. Although she wasn’t here physically here, I could practically feel the weight of her breasts in my palms as she pushed them towards me. I could hear sweet moans tumble from her lips as she moved slower.

My hand began to pump harder to match Marissa’s thrusts. Her hands latched onto my chest as she anchored herself on me. I could feel myself leak a bit at the tip and I used it to glide my hand over myself, imaging that it was her getting my cock wet.

“I’m so close, baby,” she whimpered as my hand tightened and pumped faster.

“Yes, please, baby. Come for me.”

I could feel myself twitch in the anticipation of my release. Within seconds, my impending orgasm took over. One, two, three pumps and I could feel myself release on my lower stomach as I clenched the sheet beside me with my other hand. I felt limp and suddenly hot. The image of Marissa’s face replayed over and over in my head. She was so fucking beautiful and I missed her terribly. This was the first time I had gotten off thinking about her. The distance was killing me and I needed to be with her as soon as possible.

Throwing off the covers, I picked up my shorts and underwear, making my way towards the bathroom. As I cleaned myself up, I tried to calculate what time I would arrive in LA. I needed to speak with her as soon as I could about us, about the possibility of becoming the missing link in her little family. I already cared about her and I was determined to turn things around for her, for us. Maybe I could tell her that I would pick her up from work so I could take her back to my place to talk. Whatever we agreed on, it had to be done.

I quickly got dressed and walked over to the bed. Oh how nice it would be to have Marissa beside me, her warm body spooning into mine. I imagined how her soft touch would leave goose bumps on my skin as she ran her hands up and down my arms. Or we could have little Kylie in between us, protected from the monsters that chased her in her dreams.

Marissa and Kylie were now a part of my life, and I sure as hell didn’t want them slipping away from me


	7. Give In To Me

“I don’t know what to think right now,” I told my grandmother as we sat at the table drinking coffee. “I’m scared.”

“Sweetheart, why are you scared?” she questioned as she reached over to place her hand on top of mine.

I sighed, knowing that she’s heard me over and over again about my problem. “Grandma, I like Josh. A lot. He’s seems like a dream come true. Kylie is head over heels in love with him and he treats her as if she’s his own. The conversation we had before he left threw me off track. I never thought he would end up feeling anything towards me as I do for him.

“The thing is, I’m scared that he’s going to be like Omar. He’s an actor, grandma. Why in the world would he choose me? I have a daughter and I’m trying to put my life back in order. I’m marked. Why would he want someone like me?” I finished as I felt tears run down my face.

She squeezed my hand once more. “Honey, what Omar did was wrong, but not all guys are like him. From the short amount of time that we’ve known him, I can see that Josh is a very good young man. You have that sparkle in your eye whenever you’re with him. He sees something in you and that’s why he’s willing to make things work. You should give him a chance. Josh looks the type of man who’d do anything for you and Kylie. Let him in, you deserve to be happy.”

She was right. Why was I so afraid? At least if things went sour, he wouldn’t be an ass about it like Omar. I guess I was afraid that if he stayed long enough, I might actually fall in love. I was so scared of that. Last time I was told that someone loved me, I felt like I was on top of the world. Josh had a type and I definitely didn’t fit into that. I guess taking baby steps was the best I could do.

“He came back last night from France. He asked if he could pick me up from work today so we could talk, but with what happened with Kylie, I doubt he’d want to come here,” I said.

“Well why don’t you have him come over? Your grandpa and I are going to that party at our friends and you’ll have time to talk about it alone.”

I could feel my cheeks heat up at this point. “You think so?”

“I know so. Now tell him to come over,” she repeated.

I was hesitant when I pulled out my phone. Tapping the screen, I text:  _I’m home. Kylie got sick last night and I called in. Would you like to meet me at my place?_

The short time that I spent waiting for a response was a tense one. I knew what to expect if he were to come over.

My phone vibrated from the incoming message.  _That’s fine with me. How about I come over around one?_

Oh shit.

_Yeah, that’s fine. See you then._

Whether I was ready for this or not, it was going to happen. I just hoped that it wouldn’t turn into a horrible day.

~~~

Around 1:15, I was home alone, watching TV. My grandparents were already gone and I had Kylie sleeping on the couch next to me. I kept checking her forehead and her fever seemed to be lower than last night.

The doorbell rang and I hesitantly walked towards the door. My palms were sweaty and I felt nauseous knowing that things were about to change once I opened that door.

Josh was fiddling with a bag in his hands and quickly enveloped me in his arms.

“Marissa,” he sighed as he embraced me.

“Josh, I missed you,” I whispered as I clung to him. He smelled so good and the feeling of his hard body against mine was something that I missed dearly.

“I missed you too. So much,” he replied as he kissed my cheek.

“Come in, we just need to be a bit quiet. Kylie is asleep on the couch.”

We both walked back into the living room and once Josh saw Kylie, he immediately knelt down and kissed her cheek. She stirred a bit, but she didn’t wake up.

“What happened?” he asks as he brushes the top of her head.

“She was up all last night and when I touched her forehead, she was burning up. I was scared and woke up my grandmother. She had a fever and we had to monitor her throughout the night. I didn’t get any sleep and I decided to call in to work,” I explained.

“My poor princess. Is she getting any better?”

“Yeah, she is. I hope she continues to get better because I’ll take her to the doctor if she isn’t.”

Josh stood up and handed me the bag he was still clutching. “I got you guys something while I was in Paris. I hope you like them,” he blushed.

“Thank you, Josh. You really didn’t need to. As long as you’re back and safe, that’s all we could’ve wanted,” I began.

“I’m here in one piece. Please open them, I hope it fits Kylie,” he insisted as his hands were in his pockets.

I opened the bag to find a beautiful dress for Kylie. It was cream colored with pink details all over it. It looked exactly what dress for a baby doll should look like. “Oh, Josh, it’s adorable! She will definitely like it,” I smiled.

“And, uh, your gift is in there too,” he sheepishly said as he scratched his neck.

I dug around and found a small box underneath all the tissue. My fingers were shaking because I knew that this gift must have been pricey. I hated when people spent money on me, I felt so guilty even when I received a birthday gift. My fingers gripped the edge of the box and slowly opened it. Nestled inside was a necklace with a heart pendant. The heart had an intricate design, making it unique in its own way.

“Josh,” I faintly whispered. “It’s beautiful.”

“Do you like it? Here let me put it on,” his voice cracked as he pulled his hands out of his pockets. 

I took the necklace out of the box to hand to Josh, then pushed my hair aside so he could clasp the ends. The touch of his fingers made all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up. His touch was gentle and it heightened all my senses. I had to control myself, but it was so hard not to let out a shiver.

“There,” he spoke up. I turned to face him, his cheeks were suddenly flushed as were mine. There was an awkward silence, but it was bound to happen. He cleared his voice before he continued.

“So…I think we should talk now,” he murmured.

Josh took a seat on the other couch and I followed, sitting fairly close to him, but giving him enough space. Neither of us were saying anything, so I decided to go for it.

“Josh, when we talked on the phone, I think I know what happened,” I started as I began tracing a pattern on my leg. “Now I think I need to hear it from you.”

He took my hand in his, stopping me from fiddling around. His other hand lifted my chin so we were looking eye to eye.

“Marissa, in the months that we’ve known each other, I…started to feel something for you. You are everything that I’m looking for in a person.”

I was about to say something until he held up a finger to my lips so he could continue uninterrupted. “I don’t want to hide my feelings for you anymore. It doesn’t matter if you already had a rough past or have a kid, I want to see us in the future. You and Kylie mean a whole lot more to me than you think.”

The words were stuck in my throat. I mattered to him, we both did. My sight began to cloud up with tears. A tear trickled down my cheek as I began to choke out my response. “Josh, I’m broken. You don’t want me. I can’t deny my feelings for you, but I’m broken, I can’t be fixed. “

“You’re not broken to me. You’re perfect in my eyes. I want you and Kylie to have a permanent place in my life. Please, don’t hide from me. I’ll give you all of me if you’ll let me,” he murmured.

He licked his lips before he began to slowly lean in. I was frozen, not sure if I should accept him or not. Oh how I dreamed of feeling his lips on mine and now that it was about to happen, I didn’t know what to think.

Josh pressed his lips against mine. They were soft, supple and gentle. He was patient, waiting for me to respond. One thing led to another and he parted my lips with his, slowly letting me savor him. His taste was intoxicating and I wanted more.

I allowed myself to get lost for a minute. I wanted Josh, who was I kidding? The longer I pushed him away, the more I would feel like shit. I wasn’t willing to take the risk to have him walk away, we were both way into deep to pull out now.

His hands found their way to my neck, cradling me and pull me in closer to him. The sudden reminder of the feeling of my father’s hands around my neck on that awful night snapped me out of our tender moment. I quickly jerked Josh’s hands off of me and sat away from him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen.

My hands covered up my neck. “I can’t, please don’t hurt me,” I pleaded as more tears welled up in my eyes.

“I-I won’t hurt you, Marissa. Why would you think that?” he stuttered, looking like he just kicked a puppy.

Josh’s hurt expression brought me back to reality. Fuck, I knew the things I was hiding from him were going to surface eventually. I didn’t think it would come to light like this. I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking down at my hands. I didn’t want to hide anymore.

“Josh, remember when I told you that my dad kicked me out?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, when I told him I was pregnant, not only did he not take it lightly, but he strangled and backhanded me twice. He called me a slut and kicked me out. He’d never laid a hand on me until that day. He scared me. Every time someone touches me on my neck, I panic. I still can’t shake that memory away. I told you I was broken,” I cried, hiding behind my hands.

There. It was done, I had told Josh the truth and it hurt like hell. I could feel Josh move closer to me and wrap me in his arms. “Shhh, baby, it’s okay. I’m here. I will never hurt you,” he hushed as he patted my hair and held me tightly.

I felt like a big weight was lifted off of me, but it still hurt. No one should ever go through what I did. I quickly hushed myself because I didn’t want to wake up the baby.

Josh pulled away, pulling my hair off the side and titled my neck in his hands. His lips tenderly placed kisses all along my neck. I closed my eyes, letting him take the memories and pain away. He wanted me to feel better, to erase those horrible flashbacks. He didn’t stop until the tears ceased and I didn’t want him to. Something inside fueled me, I needed more. His lips began to trail back to mine and this time, I didn’t want to hold back. My hands tugged at the ends of his hair while his hands held a firm grip on my hips.

The hunger consumed me but it soon ended when we heard Kylie whimpering. We unwillingly pulled away, savoring the last precious seconds of our lips meeting. Josh’s eyes had darkened from his usual hazel shade. They were absolutely beautiful, like a kaleidoscope changing colors.

He smiled before I stood up and walked over to a grumpy Kylie.

“Hi, sweetheart. Did you have a nice nap?” I asked as I picked her up and felt her forehead. She saw how my eyes were red and swollen.

“Mama?” she questioned as she holds my face in between her tiny hands.

“I’m okay, baby. Look who’s here,” I told her, trying to distract her from my emotions.

“Hey, princess!” Josh greeted her cheerfully.

Kylie immediately began to squirm in my arms because she wanted to get to Josh. I put her down on her feet and she began to wobble over to his open arms. Once she reached him, he picked her up and held her close to him. She began to tear up at the sight of him.

“Da,” she whimpered as she touched his face.

My eyes widen at what she said. Oh god, where in the world did she learn this? I had to start paying more attention to what she watched on her kid’s shows. Was she calling him daddy? It seems like what she was trying to say didn’t faze him at all.  

“Shh, it’s ok, baby. I’m home,” he comforted as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

“She missed you. She constantly looked at the door, hoping you’d come over,” I spoke up.

“Well, I missed you too Miss Kylie. I won’t be going anywhere for a while,” he cooed.

I knew that that promise would be short lived because he had to go out for press and premieres for Mockingjay. Then it was Thanksgiving and I knew he would want to go back to Kentucky to be with his family. The thought of him being away for so long was torturous, how Kylie was going to long for him as much as I was. I tried to push the thought away for right now. We would just cross that bridge when the time came.

Josh had Kylie standing on his lap, nibbling playfully on her fingers as she giggled from the ticklish sensation of the scruff growing on his face. In that moment, I knew exactly that this was something that I wanted for Kylie. She needed a father figure in her life and if it weren’t for Josh coming into my life, I don’t think any guy would step up and take that spot.

I walked over to them and sat down, enjoying their moment.

“Do you want to see a movie, Kylie? Do you want to build a snowman?” I asked.

Her attention was all mine when she heard ‘snowman’. She bounced on Josh’s lap, giving her sign of her approval.

“Have you see Frozen?” I turned my attention to Josh.

“No, I haven’t. I heard it was really good!”

“It’s Kylie’s favorite movie. She’s all ears when they sing the songs.”

“Well, I want to watch it. How about you, princess?” he asked, turning his attention to Kylie.

I giggle at Kylie’s smitten reaction to Josh. I walked over and put on the movie. Kylie began to call for me. “Mama, Ola?” she asked as she points over to her little pile of toys in a box in the corner.

“You want your Olaf?” I responded and grabbed it to hand it to her. She immediately cuddled the stuffed snowman pillow as she cuddles in Josh’s arms.

Once the movie began to play, I grabbed the throw blanket and covered all three of us.  Josh held out his open arm, waiting for me. “Come here,” he whispered huskily.

The minute that I was at his side, he pulled me in and kept his arm around me. At the moment, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I leaned my head on his shoulder when the opening song began to play.

“I’m glad I’m here. These are the moments that make me feel like I’m home,” he spoke quietly.

“I’m happy to hear that,” I replied as I picked up my head. He leaned down to give me a kiss and Kylie gasped at what she saw. She hid behind her Olaf, too embarrassed at catching us in the act.

“Do you want one too?” he teased her as he puckered his lips to her. She didn’t hesitate, she puckered at the same time, letting him lean in so she could receive the smooch.

We then started to watch the movie together. Josh kept commenting on how he thought the songs were cute or how detailed everything was. But what got me the most was what he said when the two princesses came up on screen.

“Kylie, what are you doing in the movie?” Josh questioned.

She looked up at him, wondering what in the world he was talking about.

“You look like Princess Anna!”

She laughed at his response and they both continue to watch the movie. They were lost in the magic of the movie but I couldn’t help but think about how I finally felt at peace with things. Josh now knows my past and he didn’t judge me once. It felt good to finally have my little family with me. I knew that we were going to end up being apart for a while, but my gut feeling said that we were going to make it no matter what obstacles came our way. 


	8. Open Your Heart to Me

**Josh**

October came and went and before I knew it, I was busy and would soon be on the road to promote Mockingjay. It hadn’t even been a month since Marissa and I became official and I was already going to be away from her. We talked about how our relationship was going to be a bit bumpy, but I never knew how much it was going to hurt to be away from her and Kylie.

When I was alone I reminisced about the last few days I spent with my girls. My favorite day so far was Halloween when Marissa dressed Kylie up as Tinkerbell. She was the perfect pixie, even though her wings were bigger than she was. All three of us walked around their neighborhood, ringing doorbells and hearing Kylie say trick-or-treat, or in her case, tri-o-tee. We stopped by Justin’s house after Kylie felt like she had enough candy and stayed a bit since he was hosting a party. After ten, I walked Marissa and Kylie back to their home. I kissed them both goodnight, but when it came to Marissa, I wanted more. I didn’t want to push her; she was too special for me to rush anything with her. I knew that with time, she would want what I want and we would be able to express our feelings with more than with just a kiss.

The first few days of November, we were busy non-stop with press. I tried to not let it show on camera how I was truly feeling, but once they were turned off, everyone saw how down I was. I only socialized when I was being talked to and while when no one was looking, I would pull out my phone and would send quick texts to Marissa. I knew she couldn’t answer right away because she was at work, but she answered when she got the chance.

I would then scroll through the pictures I had on my phone. Half of them were of Marissa and Kylie. Sam and Liam even caught me smiling at my phone and tried to peek over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.

“Oh my, who are these lovely women on your phone, Josh?” Sam asked.

“That’s Marissa and her daughter Kylie. She’s my girlfriend,” I responded.

“Let me see,” Liam butted in as he took my phone. He scrolled through the pictures and whistled at the ones where I took of Marissa when she wasn’t paying attention.

“So she’s the lucky one now, mate?” he asked as he handed me back my phone.

“Yeah, she’s beautiful, huh?”

“She’s stunning and her baby looks like a doll. Congrats.”

“I want to see!” I heard Jena call out as she walked fast in my direction. “Oh my goodness, Josh! They are both so adorable!” she exclaimed as she scrolled through my phone.

“What’s everyone looking at?” Jen questioned as she looked over Jena’s shoulder.

“Josh, I didn’t know you had a baby! Why didn’t you tell me?” she joked as her eyes brightened.

“She’s not really mine, but she already considers me her dad. With that cute face, I can’t say no,” I gushed. There had been many occasions where Kylie would call me ‘Dada’ and Marissa would correct her. I told her countless times that I didn’t mind, but she was still teaching Kylie to say my name.

“She’s adorable! I’d really like to meet the girls that have you blushing like that right now.”

“Maybe one day.”

We were suddenly given a five minute notice for our next interview. I ask for my phone back and typed a quick text message to Marissa.

_I know today is going to feel rushed, but I really want to spend my last hours with you and Kylie before I go to the airport tonight._

She didn’t answer right away and then it was time for all of us to go into the next room for another interview. As we all took turns talking, I could feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I was tempted to read the message under the table, but it would’ve been a rude move on my part.

Finally, after the last interview of the day, we all bid each other a quick goodbye before going our separate ways. I pulled out my phone to read the message.

_That’s sounds great. Would like to meet at my place or yours?_

I gulped, my heart hurt a little. Just when I was about to respond, she sent another text.

_My grandparents will be out for the night. How about you come over?_

I tapped in my response.

_I’ll see you at 5 :)_

~~~

A little before five, I was already at the door of Marissa’s house. I rang the doorbell and I could hear Kylie’s shrieks from the other side of the door. Within seconds, Marissa opened up and welcomed me with that smile that had captivated me many times.

I walked in as she pulled me to her, capturing my lips before I could say anything. My arms wrapped around her frame as her hands rested on my chest.

“Hey,” I whispered against her lips.

“Hi, I’m glad you made it here,” she murmured.

I could hear the tiny footsteps of Kylie not far behind as her giggling trailed on. “Dada!” she exclaimed as held her tiny arms up so I could hold her.

“Hi, baby!” I replied as I picked her up and held her against me. I placed a huge kiss on her rosy cheek.

“Baby, that’s Josh,” Marissa reminded her as she rubbed her back. “Can you say Josh?”

“Osh!” she said.

“She’s close,” Marissa smiled as she turned to me.

“Babe, it’s okay. I really don’t mind,” I reminded her once again.

“But-” I placed my finger over her soft lips.

“She’s a baby, Maris, it’s okay really.”

Her shoulder slumped in defeat. “I just feel like it’s bothering you. She’s so in love with you and I-”

I hushed her with a slow kiss. My hand cradled her cheek as I pulled away. “Marissa, I love Kylie. She’s might not be biologically mine, but I really want to be a part of your little family.”

Kylie began to play with Marissa’s hair, twirling the strands around her tiny fingers. She caught Kylie’s fingers and kissed every single one of them. “But, what will your family think about you being with someone who already has a kid?”

“I plan on telling my family about you guys when I go home for Thanksgiving, but you shouldn’t worry. They’re open minded and they won’t judge you for anything. I’ve mentioned you to my mom a few times, but I haven’t told her much. Don’t worry, okay? Everything will be fine,” I assured her.

She held my hand and led me to the living room. It seemed like they had been playing on the floor because all of Kylie’s toys seemed to be tossed randomly around the room.

“I ordered pizza for us,” Marissa said as she began cleaning up the toys.

“Sounds great, I’m starving after today,” I responded as I put Kylie down on the floor and helped Marissa clean up.

“How were your interviews?”

“Same old, same old. We’re not quite finished with them because we have others we’ll be travelling to,” I informed her.

“Oh, I see. Which place are you most excited to go to?”

“Definitely London and Rome. I love when the Italian fans say my name. All I hear is: Josh-a! Josh-a!” I laughed.

“I’m glad you like their accents. I mean, if you were to see my family get drunk, you’ll probably hear some New Jersey, Italian accents. My family is too entertaining when they go down that road.”

“I’d love to hear them talk that way. I want to do a movie one day where I can do that accent,” I laughed.

After a few minutes of us playing with Kylie, the pizza arrived and I made sure I reached the door before Marissa so I could to pay for it. All three of us sat at the table so we could indulge in the delicious pizza.

“So what are your plans before Thanksgiving?” Marissa asked as she fed Kylie a tiny piece of her pizza without toppings. “Are you coming back here? Or are you going to Kentucky right away?”

“Well,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin, “I was planning on going home after the New York premiere. It’s the last one and by the time that’s over, there aren’t many days between then and Thanksgiving.”

Marissa nodded silently as she continued to feed Kylie. Even though she tried to hide it, I could see sadness spread across her face. I scooted in closer to her, draping my hand over the back of her chair.

“Marissa, I know that the time apart will be difficult, but I know we’ll be okay. Please believe me when I say that I want you in my life. I may be thinking way ahead of myself, but I was going to ask you something. It’s okay if you say no.”

Her attention was now all mine, her eyebrow cocked up. “What’s that?”

“I was wondering if you’d you like to spend Thanksgiving with me in Kentucky.”

Her eyes widened at my offer. Kylie was making noise as to get her attention to feed her. She snapped out of it, and turned to Kylie before she faced me.

“Babe, I don’t know. Your family doesn’t know about us and I feel like…it’s going to take them by surprise. I want them to know about Kylie and me. I think it’s best that you show up there and talk to them about our situation,” she finally said.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t disappoint me when she said no. Although it brought me down, she had a point. I’m pretty sure my parents would be open about it, but I couldn’t have Marissa and Kylie show up without formally telling them the status of our relationship.

“Please don’t be upset,” Marissa interrupted my thoughts.

“No, you’re right. I guess the thought of not seeing you for the rest of the month kind of took over. I promise that when I arrive there, I will tell them about you two,” I vowed as I leaned in for a kiss.

We finished the pizza with a few left over slices in the box. All three of us relaxed on the couch, talking about our holiday plans and ended the night watching a movie. Kylie was starting to fall asleep in my arms when I told Marissa that I had to get going. She tried to lift Kylie up but she woke up rather grumpy.

I got up, and faced Marissa. “Well, I guess this is it. Our first test in our relationship,” I quietly murmured.

Marissa’s eyes were becoming glassy as she held Kylie who was leaning her head on her shoulder. “I know, I’m going to miss you a lot. I was dreading when this day came, but I have to let you go, you have obligations. Well be together again before we know it,” she said. Her words were spoken with faith and truth, but it sounded like she needed to believe them herself.

I leaned in, letting our lips graze each other’s before I slowly captured them. Her tongue danced around mine and I could feel the blood boiling inside me. Our passionate kiss made me want her more, to completely make her my own. I unwillingly pulled away and leaned my forehead against hers.

“I’m going to miss you two so much. It’s going to hurt, but I’m counting down the days until I get to be reunited with you and Kylie.” The ache in my heart overtook any other feelings I had at the moment.

“I’ll Facetime you two before the premieres. I really can’t go a day without at least hearing your voice…” I trailed off as we both walked to the door.

Suddenly Kylie lifted her head and saw that I was leaving. She pouted and held her arms out to me. I brought her to me, holding her tight, inhaling her baby shampoo scent and kissing her temple. “Okay, Kylie. I’m going to be gone for a bit, but I promise you that I’m going to come home right away, okay? Be good to your mommy and take care of her for me.”

She lifted her head and I could see a single tear run down her cheek. I kissed it away before I placed another kiss on her forehead. I began to hand her back to Marissa when she began clawing at my shirt. Kylie began to cry a bit louder as hot tears streamed down her face.

“No, dada!” she cried as Marissa tried to free her hands off my shirt. I felt like I was breaking my own heart at the sight of my princess crying.

“Kylie, please, Josh has to go now but he’ll be back soon,” soothed Marissa.

It didn’t work. She was still crying up a storm. I looked at my phone quickly and saw that I had time left before I went home, took a shower and made my way to the airport with Andre.

“Come here, Kylie,” I said as I held out my arms to her. I rocked her back in forth as her cries quieted. Marissa and I both walked back into the living room and sat on the couch. She sat on the far end and I lay down with Kylie on top of me, running my hand up and down her tiny back and murmuring to her, soothing her into a deep sleep. Within minutes she was completely knocked out. Marissa carefully lifted her off of me and took her back into their room. She placed Kylie in her crib and tucked her in.

“I’ll be back soon, princess. I love you,” I whispered as I kissed her cheek. I walked out of their room and headed towards the door.

Before I opened it, I faced Marissa once more and brought her body against mine. Our mouths consumed each other, trying to make the moment last. I held her against the wall as she greedily rolled her hips against mine. My jeans began to tent at the front, I couldn’t help myself- I needed her. My hands trailed to her behind and gave it a squeeze, immediately earning a moan. Her hands lifted my shirt, letting her warm skin touch my already shuddering body. Her neck tilted to the side, allowing me access to splay kisses all along her neck and collarbone.

“I need you, baby,” I panted. “I want you so bad, but I can wait for when you’re ready.”

“I want you too. Once you’re back, then we can take things further,” she responded as she kissed the underside of my jaw.

She pulled away, breathless, as her swollen lips formed a sad, tiny smile. “Come back to me please,” she finally whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Promise.”

**Marissa**

The cool, November air made it evident of the holidays that were almost here. Last night was the premiere of Mockingjay in New York and I knew that Josh was either on his way or already at home in Kentucky. He kept his promise about keeping in touch. We Facetimed when we had the chance, and he made Kylie smile like no other when she saw him on my phone screen.

It was a lazy Tuesday and I had the day off. Josh said he’d text me when he arrived home, but he hadn’t yet and I was starting to get worried. I tried to push it aside, hoping nothing bad happened to him.

It was now seven in the evening and I still hadn’t heard from Josh. I hesitated to send him a text message, but just when I was about to open up a new text, the doorbell rang. My grandmother was the first to get on her feet and open the door.

“Josh, hello! What a pleasant surprise!” I heard her greet.

“Hello, Mrs. Avery. Is Marissa home?”  

I got to my feet instantly and followed their voices. From over her shoulder, I could see Josh looking more tired than ever before. I walked past her and threw my arms around him. He smelled as if he was freshly out of the shower and his scruff was growing in once more. His lips hovered over mine, but I was careful not to do anything untoward in front of my grandmother.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” I heard her say as she shut the door.

Once we heard the click, we went back to hungrily kiss each other. My core burned and I needed to be with him at that moment. It brought me back to the time before Josh left, how he had me up against the wall and at his mercy. I couldn’t count the times I had gotten myself off in the shower, wishing that his rough, calloused fingers were working me. Our breathing accelerated as hands began to roam to forbidden places, but I didn’t care.

“Oh fuck, Marissa,” he whimpered as I let my hand glide over his erection. “I missed you so much, baby. I flew here because I didn’t think I’d be able to handle any more time away from you. Please, I need you. Come back to my place. Spend the night with me.”

The pain and desire in his voice made my heart split into two. He needed me as much as I needed him. I didn’t hesitate, my desire for him was too overpowering.

“Yes, I’ll go.”


	9. Safe and Sound

_“Please, I need you. Come back to my place. Spend the night with me.”_

The three yearning sentences that I desperately wanted to hear were finally said.

“Yes, I’ll go.”

He smiled when I replied and went in for another kiss. As much as I wanted to continue, the front porch was not the place for it. I had to go in and tell my grandparents that I was going.

I told Josh to wait for me as I walked in and called for my grandmother. She pulled me aside in the hallway and together we walked into my room so I could pick up my bag. I told her that I was going to with Josh and not to expect me to come home tonight.

“Just be safe,” she murmured as she pulled me in for a hug. “I know you missed that boy and I think it’s time for just you two to be together for a bit. He really cares about you. We can take care of Kylie for the night, just don’t let her see you go out or she’ll start wailing.”

“Thank you, grandma. I love you.”

I quickly hugged her and swiftly made it out the door without Kylie seeing me. I saw that Josh was leaning against his car, waiting patiently for me. He opened the door, like the gentleman that he was. Once we zoomed out of the neighborhood, he held my hand the entire time. He talked non-stop, about the premieres had been and different things that had happened during his trip. I didn’t want to be rude, so I listened to him when I really wanted his hand run in between my legs.

Once he parked the car in the garage, we stepped inside and immediately let our passion consume us. Our breathing accelerated as Josh nibbled at my neck and teasingly running his tongue over his assault. He had me against the wall, reminding me of our unfinished business before he left.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” he asked huskily.

“Care to show me?” I managed to answer.

“I’d be glad to,” he smiled as he lifted me, letting my legs to wrap around his waist.

Everything was moving in slow motion, letting us treasure every second. Once we reached his bedroom, Josh put me down on my feet. Our hands trailed over each other’s clothes, but I wanted him to feel my touch against his warm skin. My bold desires made me lift my hands under his shirt so he could get a chance to take it off. Once he got the hint, Josh pulled his shirt from the back, giving me the opportunity to free myself from my top.

Once I pulled my shirt off, I stood in front of him unashamed. His eyes wandered down to my breasts that were held up by a red lace bra. It looked like he stumbled upon gold. He met my gaze, unsure if he should proceed. It was cute that he waited for me to give him the pass.

I chuckled at his hesitation and took his hands in mine. “You can touch, Josh. It’s okay,” I assured him.

His hands trailed up my sides and finally made their way to my breasts. He was fascinated by them as he began to knead them gently. My head lolled to the side as I tried to maintain my balance. I could feel my nipples harden beneath the fabric as I brought his face down towards mine, whispering in his ear, “Take it off, Josh.”

His nimble fingers began to work at the clasp and once it was undone, he stood back, admiring what he exposed. Chills broke along my skin and with Josh’s ghostly touch, sparking a thrill in me.

“You’re so beautiful, Marissa, like a goddess,” he mumbled.

The pads of his fingers glided over my hardened nipples before he brought his mouth into play. Josh gently flicked his tongue over the peak of my nipple and the feeling of his mouth on me was something I had dreamed of. He was so gentle and it warmed me inside that he thought I was perfect in his eyes. His strong, calloused hands on me felt too good to be true, but I definitely wanted him to touch me more intimately than this.

My hands fell down to the button of my jeans and just when I was about to pull them down, Josh pulled away and had me sit on the bed. Once I was settled, I noticed the front of Josh’s pants was tented.

“Here, let me help,” he whispered. Josh pulled my pants down to reveal the red lacy underwear that matched my bra that was now on the side of the bed.

“Holy shit, lace looks so sexy on you,” he complimented as his fingers began to stroke tiny circles on the inside of my thighs. Such a simple touch made me feel the pool of warmth in between my legs increase with intensity. Once he reached my center, Josh felt how damp the lace was and he let out a gasp.

“Mmmm, so nice. Did I do this to you?” he teased. His fingers didn’t stop rubbing me over my underwear and I didn’t want them to.

I let out a raspy moan, biting my lip and nodding my answer. Lust over took me and I pushed my hips up to his hand as much as I could so he could get the hint to move onward.

Josh leaned forward and kissed me gently as he began to lead me up to the pillows. His lips never left mine until my head gently landed on top of the pillows. He trailed kisses down my neck and across my chest. When he returned to my lips, I saw that his eyes had darkened into a stormy brown as he held my gaze once more.

“Please Josh,” I pleaded. “Touch me.”

My plea reached him and he began to make his way beneath the elastic of the lace. His middle finger grazed my clit and it instantly made my hips buck towards him. He smiled at my reaction all while he began to draw tiny circles around my swollen nub. My hips found a rhythm that matched his pace and before I knew it, he slowly reached my entrance and pushed a digit inside me. I could feel myself instantly clench around his finger as he pushed it in a bit further. Finally, when he added another finger, he hit that special button in me that made me moan louder than I already was. Josh’s moves were torturous, but it would have been a lovely way to go.

Right when I was about to feel a climax, he removed his fingers and shamelessly licked them clean. “Mmmm, you taste so good. I need more of that sweetness.”

I groaned at the fact that he enjoyed me, but I was also scared since I had never been pleased orally before. He made his way down, stopping at my breasts and giving them more of the same attention he had given them earlier. He peppered kisses down to my stomach, leaving a trail before he stopped at the lower part of my stomach.

“Your body went through such a beautiful thing, Maris. The gift of being a mother is one of the best things a woman can go through,” he murmured against my skin.

I began to writhe underneath him and he took that as a sign to proceed. Just when he was about to lift a leg over his shoulder, I stopped him the best I could.

“Josh, I- I can’t,” I stuttered, supporting myself on my elbows. “I never had anyone go down on me and I don’t know if…you’ll enjoy it.”

Instead of seeing him defeated, he made his way back up to me and kissed me tenderly. Once he pulled away, he kissed my forehead and finally leaned against it before he spoke.

“Baby, don’t worry. I won’t hurt you at all. You taste so sweet and I want to show you what you’re missing. I promise, I’ll go slowly and you can stop me anytime,” he reassured me.

Part of me wanted him to keep going and although the other half still squirmed, my lust for him eased any lingering doubts. I nodded in response and he smiled, making his way down again. Josh gently removed the red barrier and placed my legs over his shoulders, letting me feel his hot breath hit my skin. The goose bumps emerged as one hand caressed my thigh and the other opened up my folds. With a deep sigh, I made myself relax so I could enjoy the moment.

Josh’s ministrations were gentle, careful not to push my limits. His lips captured my clit, flicking it with his tongue and vibrating against me. The motions made me buck into his face as my fists clenched the sheets beneath me. I knew the wetness I felt building up would be covering his chin. My hand found its way to the back of his head, threading my fingers through his silky brown hair and grinding his face against me. His firm grip on my legs had me locked in that position and I could sense my end shining brightly.

Just when I felt that button being pushed to the max, Josh stopped, looking at me in the eyes while he devilishly licked the seams of his lips clean. Within seconds, I tasted what was left of me on him while his hands wandered up and down my sides.

“I need you, it hurt so fucking much when you weren’t with me,” he admitted sadly.

I kissed his jaw. “You don’t need to wait anymore,” I assured him. “I’m here and I need you too.”

He smiled before he got off the bed and rummaged through the bedside table. Once he found the little package, his pants and underwear left his hips and I finally saw his cock, ready and standing at attention for me. My legs clenched together as the nerves and excitement hit me all at once. His nimble fingers ripped the package, dropping the wrapper on the floor and he rolled the latex over himself, climbing on the bed and hovering over me.

Josh sensed a wave of nerves roll off of me. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and cradled my cheek.

“Please, go slow,” I spoke up. It’s been so long and I don’t know if it was going to be a blissful or painful feeling.

“Shh, I’ll go slow. Let me take care of you.” Josh’s hazel eyes had darkened and I was pretty sure that mine reflected his. I needed him to consume me any way he could.

His right hand lead his cock to my entrance, slowly inching his way in.  My breath hitched when I felt the tip of him enter me. Josh looked down at me with concerned to see if he had hurt me in any way.

“Baby…you okay?” he managed to blurt out.

“Yes,” I nodded. “Just go slow.”

He sighed with contentment, knowing that I was okay. Josh lowered his face down to my neck while he pushed all the way in. Nothing prepared me for the feeling of Josh completely filling me up. I could feel my walls adjust to his girth. When he was finally all the way in, Josh stopped, letting me sink in the feeling of us being one.

“Oh, fuck Marissa. You feel so fucking good,” he groaned.

“Baby…” I gasped.

Josh’s hips began to pull back and slowly pushed his way in once more. I felt like I was in my own part of heaven. His slow movements proved that he didn’t just want to fuck, he needed me, to connect on that level that we both wanted.

He began to murmur things, telling me how amazing I felt, cursing silently. My brain was shut down and I couldn’t even form words. Josh was making this the most beautiful thing that I had ever experienced.

Everything was a whirlwind, I didn’t know when we began and I never wanted it to end. Josh was everything that I wanted in man. He was kind, funny and honest, but most of all- he didn’t care if I was broken. The determination to make me whole again was so overwhelming that tears began to spring in my eyes. My feelings for him were taking over. I felt like I was falling in love with him. For the first time, I truly knew what it felt like to love someone and to know that it wasn’t just because he wanted to get in my pants. 

“Marissa, what’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” Josh interrupted my thoughts, stopping his thrusts. No, I couldn’t let him know- not just yet.

I quickly wiped the tears away from my eyes. “No, Josh don’t worry, I’m fine. I’m just an emotional person. Don’t worry about me,” I assured him.

Josh lowered his lips, kissing the tears away and making his way to my lips, letting our tongues caress each other’s. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said as he pulled away.

My heart was too full. He was perfect, perfect for me.

Josh began to pick up the pace a bit while my hands felt his back muscles tense, feeling every indent and curve. I even went down to his behind, squeezing the cheeks that looked so wonderful when he wore his jeans. Our breathing accelerated and I could feel myself climb higher to my peak. My back arched, letting our chests rub against each others.  He picked himself up from me so he could watch my breasts bounce with each of his thrusts.

“God your tits are amazing,” he slurred.

“I’m close,” I managed to whimper. My hand disappeared in between us so I could rub my already sensitive clit.

“You like to touch yourself, baby?” he asked. “Rub that clit for me.”

Within a few thrusts, I was taken over the edge at full force. My walls clenched him over and over again, milking him.

“Oh fuck!” Josh stammered. He stilled inside me before his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of me.

My vision was blurry and my body was quivering with gratification. We lay there a few minutes before we could compose ourselves. Josh began to lift himself up to look at me, a shy smirk began to form and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Wow, that was so fucking amazing,” he said as he leaned in for peck.

“You made it special, Josh. I never experienced it like this before,” I replied, suddenly feeling my cheeks flush.

“Well, you’re perfect and I’m glad that it’s with you.”

I was still on my back when Josh stood up and carefully pulled himself out of me. I whimpered at the empty feeling when he was completely out. The feeling of loneliness washed over me but was quickly replaced when Josh came back to me. He lifted the comforter and sheets to let me slip in before he did.

I placed my head on his chest, listening to the quiet beat of his heart as he played with my hair. My fingers gingerly touched the hair on his chest, moving down to trace the anchor tattoo on his side.

He kissed my forehead, rubbing my arm that was draped over his stomach. “I didn’t think I’d be able to handle the time being away from you. It was so damn difficult. It was hard trying to put on a smile for the press and the premieres. I missed you and Kylie so much and I was close to skipping the premiere in Madrid. It was going to be another week without you and I didn’t want that to happen,” he admitted.

“I missed you too. The last time we were together, something in me sparked. I wanted you, but we couldn’t do anything with the limited time that we had in our hands. It was difficult for Kylie too. There were nights when she wouldn’t sleep. She would cry and ask for you. It broke my heart when she said she wanted her ‘dada’ as she would say,” I laughed slightly. “I don’t have the heart anymore to correct her. She sees you as her dad now.”

The thought in my head when I said that made me regret the words that slipped out. I really didn’t have the heart to be so strict on Kylie when it came to Josh. He was the only guy that she had seen as my boyfriend and it was natural for her to think it was her dad.

“Baby, it’s okay if she thinks that. I would love to be the father figure in her life if you let me,” he whispered.

“You’d really do that?” I asked bewildered.

“Absolutely. You’re stuck with me now, babe. Oh well!” he joked as he kissed my temple.

In that moment, everything fell into place. I was safe and sound in his arms, even though I knew that he would be heading home soon. Did it hurt? A little, but I knew that we would be reunited before too long. Maybe now it was time to form the family that I always wanted. I was slowly getting there and I knew that Josh was going to help me along the way. I closed my eyes, finally content and relieved to have found someone who wanted what I wanted. 


	10. Addicted

**Josh**

The sound of rain pattered the window as the room began to form light. I was on my back with one arm draped over my face and the other wrapped around Marissa.  She was on her front and my eyes trailed down her back, stopping at the sheet that laid low on her hips. The sight before me was tantalizing, beautiful. It was hard to believe she was here with me.

My fingers began to barely trace her back, feeling how soft her skin was under my rough fingertips. She stirred, slightly opening her eyes with a sly smile.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she greeted me back as she scooted in closer, letting her head rest on my chest.

“It’s raining,” I stated as I wrapped my arm around her.

“Oh that’s great. Kylie likes the rain and I do too. It lulls her to sleep and it makes my job easier so I don’t have to rock her as much,” she laughed slightly. “But then again, if you were to put her to sleep, I’m pretty sure she’d be knocked out in an instant.”

“Do I have that much of a spell on her?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, you’re probably a wizard and you used your magic to do a love spell on her while I wasn’t looking,” she laughed.

I began to tickle her as she thrashed around the bed. “Tell me, do I have you smitten?” My fingers continued their assault as her laughter filled the room.

“Josh!”

"Tell me!"

“Yes! Yes you have!”

Once she said it, I stopped the tickling and returned to the spot we had been.

We were silent for a while until Marissa sadly asked, “When are you flying back home?”

“Tomorrow morning,” I sighed.

“Oh.”

Her eyes looked up at mine, looking lighter than her normal dark ones. Sadness overtook her before I leaned down to kiss her gently.

“I’m only going to be home for a week. I don’t think I could stay longer away from you.”

Marissa’s hand began to draw tiny circles on my stomach and going lower, down to my happy trail. Since there was only a sheet that covered me, my hard on began to peek through. I tried hard enough to hide it, but I couldn’t help it. She had this affect on me like no one else had before.

I could feel her hand starting to sneak its way under the sheet, carefully wrapping around me and pumping me slowly. She started to get up and kissed me, letting our lips wander around each other.

“Can I show you how much I’m going to miss you?” she asked innocently.

My breath hitched as the feeling of her hand on me made me shut my eyes tightly. Without thinking, my hand joined hers, carefully pacing her.

“Please, baby, please.” My plea practically came out as a whisper.

She giggled, slowly removing herself from my side and making her way down to my cock. The look in her eyes was erotic yet coy. Once the sheet was off of me, Marissa caught my erection in her hand, slowly pumping all while looking at me as she bit her lip.

The tip of her tongue swirled around the head and it made me gasp at how good it felt. I immediately brushed her hair to one side to watch my glistening cock enter her mouth. Marissa bobbed her head a few times, taking me in like a pro. I was simply left speechless.

“Yeah, baby, just like that,” I encouraged.

Up and down she went and every second made me feel like I was losing my mind. The sound that she made was music to my ears. Her moans and suction had me slowly bucking my hips up to her mouth.

Marissa released me from her mouth, smirking at me. “Do you like that, baby?” she asked as her free hand began to massage my balls.

“Oh god please don’t stop,” I slurred.

She smiled once more before she ran her tongue on the underside of my shaft. One hand gripped the sheet next to me while the other gently tugged on her hair.

“You know what? I think I’m going to make you come another way,” she abruptly spoke up.

My eyes were bewildered, I was so fucking close and she stopped.  _Tease._

“Condom?” she asked.

My left hand managed to dig around my nightstand for one and handed it to her. Once she had the foil ripped, she rolled the condom over me. I had no idea what she was about to do. To my surprise, she turns her back towards me, straddling my hips so I had the wonderful sight of her behind. Her brown hair hung down her back, swaying with every movement. My right hand held up my cock for her while my left hand settled on her hip. Marissa’s hips sank down on to my erection and I swear I saw stars.

“Fuck,” I heard her gasp as she tried to accommodate me in her.

“So tight,” I rasped.

A few seconds went by before she began to move. The view of her ass bouncing on my cock was something I dreamed about. Marissa gripped the sheets on either side of me as she began to ride me at her own pace.

All that could be heard was the sound of her skin slapping against mine and the erotic moans that she created. The sight of my dick disappearing inside her made me feel like I was being taken to another universe. With every downward thrust she made, I could feel her walls contract around me. She felt so fucking good and I wanted to last as long as I could, but I knew that my impending climax would soon rip through me.

Marissa sat up and began to knead her own breasts, tempting me to sit up myself and replace her hands with mine from behind.

“Josh,” I heard her gasp. “I’m going to come.”

“Come for me, baby.”

She began to buck against me harder and faster. The muscles in my stomach began to tense as I got closer to my orgasm. She began to contract all around me and I knew that she was going to come within seconds. Marissa finally hit her peak and slammed against me one last time before I released into the latex. Her fluttering walls milked everything out of me and I didn’t want her to get off of me.

Marissa slumped over to the side, trying to catch her breath. I could feel my skin flushed from exertion. When I managed to prop myself on my elbows, I saw Marissa still on her side, her hair covering her face. I managed to crawl over to her, removing her hair to see that beautiful face.

“You certainly out done yourself, Maris,” I managed to smile.

“I really like that position,” she laughed. Her cheeks flushed even more when the words slipped out of her mouth.

“I like it too. I could see your ass bouncing on me. It made me feel lucky to know that it’s all mine,” I teased as I ran my hand over her left cheek and gave it a slight slap.

She yelped in a playful manner before kissing me and getting to her feet.

“I’m starving. Want me to make you something to eat?” she asked as she slipped on my white t-shirt and nothing else.

I stuttered, trying to form words. “Y-yeah, but don’t you have to work?”

“Today is my day off. So what will it be?” she trailed as she left the room and headed to the kitchen.

I quickly found some basketball shorts and slipped them on before joining her. We looked around and decided on some pancakes. I found some whipped cream and some strawberries that I kept in the freezer to replace the syrup, since I didn’t have any.

As I began to heat up the pan, Marissa started the batter. It made me smile to see how very at ease she was and how much she has opened to me. Once the batter was done, she began to place them on the pan.

“A woman who likes to cook? I picked out a good one,” I teased.

She giggled at my words before she hushed herself. “I had to know how to cook for myself and my dad. When my mom died I had to start doing the stuff around the house. My dad was gone all day so it gave me time to experiment.” Her smile was slowly starting to fade as she flipped the pancake.

I brought her in for a hug, tilting her chin and sealing my lips over hers. I couldn’t stand to see the pain that inflicted on her when she thought about her past.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’ll chase all your demons away, I want you to be happy with me and Kylie,” I comforted her.

She quickly flipped the pancake once more before settling it on a plate.

“I know. Ever since you walked into our lives, I couldn’t be any happier.”

I kissed the tip of her nose and let her finish making the pancakes. Once we made enough, we sat at the table and ate our food. It had been a while since I had something homemade and the pancakes really hit the spot.

“Can I keep you forever? These are so damn good,” I said with my mouth full.

“If you’re home, I’ll cook for you if you’d like,” she said.

“Deal.”

While we finished our breakfast, we talked about our Thanksgiving plans. Marissa and her grandparents were going to host the holiday at their house this year. Her family members that I met at Kylie’s birthday party and a few others were expected to come over. She then talked about how when they start with dessert, they decide which family would host Christmas at their place. Then they would pick out their secret Santas. Each member would pick out a name and would have a month to plan out the gift. After mellowing, everyone would help clean up the table and kitchen. If some family members traveled far, they would stay at Marissa’s grandparents place.

“Wow, you guys seem to have a nice time around the holidays,” I said as she finished.

“Yeah, it’s practically a full house but I love it either way.”

My hand covered hers as my thumb rubbed over the top of her hand. “I really wished you could come with me. My family would love you and Kylie,” I mumbled.

She pulled her hand out from under mine and walked over to me, sitting on my lap.

“I know, but you need family time. Like I said before, I think it’s best for you to bring us up- let them know what’s going on between us.”

I brought my face down to her chest. It was going to be another challenge when I would have to leave tomorrow.

“I swear I’ll bring you up. Maybe…you can join me next year?” I asked, uncertain whether she’s be accepting of my words.

“A lot can change in a year-,”

“I know,” I hushed her with a finger. “You’ve had me under your spell, Marissa, since the moment we met. I don’t see myself with anyone else but you. I want to stay positive and I want this to work.”

“I want it to work too,” she silently spoke up. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, you’re mine,” I groaned as my right hand began to trace her thigh. I suddenly remembered that she didn’t have anything underneath and I could feel myself getting hard.

Marissa brought her lips down to mine, opening my mouth and claiming me as hers. My hand made its way to her heat, slowly parting her folds and feeling how wet she was for me already. Her arousal coated my fingers as she tried to meet my slow thrusts. My eyes went down to my plate with crumbs on it, eyeing the leftover whipped cream that was still left. My mind sparked an idea when I brought my fingers to my mouth, sucking on the sweet nectar left.

“Go to the room. I need to get something,” I purred.

Her eyes darkened as a smirk began to form on her lips. She got up from my lap and pulled the shirt over her head. She was bare in the light and she looked alluring. With a final look, she began to walk towards the bedroom.

The blood rushed to my cock when my eyes watched her walk away. It hurt to move, but I didn’t care. I walked to the kitchen to pick up the can of whipped cream, thanking my lucky stars that there was still some left over. I briskly walked back to the room, finding Marissa on her back waiting for me. Once I closed the door, she giggled in anticipation- clenching her legs together as I managed to pull off my shorts.

I walked towards her, climbing on the bed and hovering over her body. Marissa began to trail her hands down my side, stopping at my cock and pumping slowly. Tongues and bodies were meshed together, it was hard to break away. However, she was going to pay for being such a tease and wearing only my shirt.

“You know, I was thinking about how sweet you taste. I just want to see how sweet you really can get,” I growled.

Her eyebrows furrowed, but she quickly realized my intentions when she saw the whipped cream can. Her response was to bite her lower lip.

“Hold still, this may be a bit cold,” I instructed.

I held the whipped cream can and covered her left nipple in the sticky substance. Her eyes held mine as my lips enveloped her bud. She arched her back, making me nuzzle her as she gripped my right shoulder and threaded her left hand in my hair. I moved on to her other breast and repeated the motions, carefully savoring her all while she moaned sweetly.

I lowered the nozzle and made a small trail on her stomach and finally reaching down to where I wanted to be. Marissa propped herself on her elbows, eyeing me carefully about what I was about to do next.

“Don’t be afraid to scream my name,” I murmured as I covered her in the sugary substance. Placing the can aside, I positioned myself over her and licking her outer folds. I heard her gasp and whimper at the touch of my tongue. She tasted better and sweeter with this stuff. I took my time, gently sucking her bundle and trailing my tongue up and down her folds- teasing her entrance with the tip of my tongue.

I gripped Marissa’s hips and brought them closer to my lips. Her back would arch with each dip and she would moan out my name.

“Josh,” she panted as she threaded her fingers through my hair, grinding against my face.

I refused to let up from my assault. Her sweet nectar combined with the whipped cream made me never want to leave my position. My dick pulsed and as much as I wanted to take care of her, I needed a release as well. My hand began to pump and it felt so fucking good. I was done cleaning up my mess and once Marissa felt the coast was clear, I heard her say, “Come here.”

Once again, I couldn’t say no. I crawled up to her and began to grind against her slickness. The stimulation was enough to take us both over the edge. Every time my tip butted against her clit, she would whimper and meet my thrusts.

“I need you,” I heard her say.

“I’ll always need you.”

I was about to reach over for another condom until she stopped me.

“No, it’s okay. I’m good. Please.”

Her heartfelt plea was making my heart swell. Once I slipped inside her, it felt so much more different than from last night and this morning. The feeling of skin to skin was too unreal. Her natural wetness made my movements flow easier, almost blissfully. It was such a beautiful connection and I was becoming addicted to it.

I didn’t want to rush this and she didn’t seem to want me go any faster either. We took our time, ravishing each other in kisses and encouraging each other with our moans. My eyes landed on hers, they were full admiration, lust and want. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Once I felt her walls clench around me, I released myself in her. My head was buried in her neck, trying to keep the spinning to a minimum. I could feel how our essence blended together and it was something that I was finally given the chance to experience.

As I pulled my head up, I saw how her eyes were closed, lips were slightly parted and swollen. She was beautiful in my eyes, more stunning than any other woman that I’ve been with. I knew that I felt something when we first met and every time we were together, my feelings began to develop at a rapid pace, but our night together made me feel more. In that moment, I could feel myself starting to fall totally and absolutely in love with Marissa.    


	11. Underneath the Mistletoe

“Mama!” Kylie shrieked.

I turned around to find everything that had been in her overnight bag on the floor. Clothes, diapers, and toys were everywhere.

“Kylie! We’re going to go see daddy and we need to be ready to leave soon,” I explained to her as I started to fold her clothes and place them in her bag.

“Mama loo!” she suddenly said as she hands me something black.

To my horror, Kylie found my surprise that I was going to wear for Josh tonight. “No, baby. That’s mommy’s stuff. Don’t touch, okay?”

All that she did was fiddle with her fingers and pout. She got over it and she quickly picked up a toy on the floor. Once I finished, I brought her into the living room so my grandparents could watch her while I showered.

Once I was in the privacy of my bathroom, I turned the knob and walked in, letting the hot water hit my body. As I closed my eyes, I reminisced about every single time Josh and I were together. He made me feel beautiful and whole. I also thought back to how our first night together made me feel. Of course I was in love with him, but I didn’t dare tell him. Every time we were together, I was falling madly in love with him. His fatherly instincts grew stronger too when he was with Kylie. The week of Thanksgiving was long, but he came back in one piece. He even told me how excited his mom was to meet me formally soon. When I was told that, Josh asked if I would like to join them for New Years back in Kentucky. It took me a few days to make a decision, but my grandparents encouraged me to go with him. When I told Josh that I would be able to spend the New Year with him, he was over the moon.  

Today was going to be a start to an amazing weekend. It would be Kylie’s first sleepover at his place and since Christmas was next week, we decided to celebrate the weekend before since he would be spending that time with his family.  

Both of us were excited to spend the weekend with Josh, but most of all he wanted for us to know what it’s like to celebrate the holidays with a family of our own-no missing links. Being in his house also made me lose count on how many times he took me in his bed, on his couch and in the shower. We had to be careful if anything were to happen tonight because we wouldn’t be the only ones there.

Stepping out of the shower, I quickly dried and dressed myself before I opened the door. Kylie was making her way towards me when I heard my grandfather speak up. “If you girls are going to be leaving, you better do it soon. I don’t want you driving when it’s already dark,” he warned.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be leaving in like ten minutes,” I replied.

I quickly brushed my hair and fixed myself up before putting on my jacket. The gifts that I had for Josh and Kylie were in the trunk, all that was left were our bags. I covered Kylie in her jacket and we were on our way to the car.

The drive wasn’t long, but since it got dark early, there was a lot of traffic. It seemed like people were scared to drive in the dark, but we made it to Josh’s place in one piece. I punched in the code for the gate to open and we pulled in, parking in an empty area that Josh had for me.

Within seconds, I heard the door open and found Josh on his way to help me with our stuff. “Hello, beautiful,” he greeted me huskily as he kissed me.

“Hello, handsome. Would you give me a hand with Kylie?”

Josh walked over to the back and helped Kylie out of her car seat. “Hi, my princess! Are you ready for Santa to come a bit early tonight?” he asked as he kissed her cheek.

All that she did was giggle as she placed a kiss on the edge of his lips. We both walked in with my gifts and bags in hand to a dimly lit house. As we walked further in, I was in awe with what Josh did with the tree. It was decorated in white lights, glittering snow flake ornaments with a star to complete the final look.

“Josh, it looks wonderful!” I complimented as I began to place the gifts under the tree.

“I had some help from Andre. I can’t reach the top so he helped me with that,” he laughed.

“Oooh!” Kylie observed as she tried to reach for an ornament.

“No, Ky, this is for decoration only,” I reminded her. “I think we should let her play or watch something so she’ll be distracted.”

Josh put in some movie and it instantly had Kylie’s attention. We both walked into the kitchen, wrapping our arms around each other as we consumed one another. He lifted me up on to the counter before I managed to pull away.

“You know we have to keep things tame,” I reminded him.

“I know, baby. It’s just that I can’t help it when I’m around you. You’re so sexy and if Kylie weren’t in the other room, I’d fuck you on this counter right now,” he warned as his lips attached themselves to my neck.

“Oh god, you’re turning me on with all that talk,” I gasped.

“We can always sneak into the guest room at night,” he suggested as he gave me a peck.

“We’ll see. I actually have a surprise for you.” Josh’s eyes instantly lit up when he heard the hint about the surprise in my tone.

“For me? I guess I’ve been a good boy this year.”

“You’ve been good to me- us- for this long. It’s only right that I reward you,” I said, my voice heavy with lust.

“I can’t wait.”

~~~

Josh, Kylie and I all ate together as a family. It felt so at ease being with the two people that I cared about the most. Josh even attempted to feed Kylie which was hilarious. His first three tries weren’t that great, but he soon got the hang of it. I was incredibly happy, my soul warmed to everything around me.

When it got close to nine, we were all in Josh’s living room and enjoying a movie. Kylie fell asleep in my arms wearing her Christmas themed pajamas and Josh allowed me to tuck her in the bed. Now that we didn’t have any distractions, it was the time to bring out the little surprise that I packed for Josh. I quietly looked through my bag to pull out the piece of clothing that Kylie managed to pull out of my bag earlier. Slipping on the skimpy nightgown, I made my way back the living room to Josh.

The confidence I exuded was something that I wasn’t familiar with. I was always shy, but when I was around Josh, everything was different. He made me feel special- one of a kind. In his eyes, I was the epitome of perfect. My quiet steps couldn’t be heard and I had to clear my throat in order to get his attention. When he finally turned around, his mouth dropped at the sight of me.

“Do you um…do you like it?” I asked as my cheeks began to burn.

He got off the couch and walked over to me. His hands found my satin covered hips and pulled me in closer to him.

“I love it,” he stated. “But, there’s something that I want to show you.”

I didn’t know what he meant until he pulled me towards the door. We were both facing each other and I had no idea what he was trying to say. I followed his gaze as his eyes trailed up and I was greeted with mistletoe hanging above the doorway.

“How did I miss that?”

“We can’t break the rules. It’s tradition.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

My lips curled into a smile as Josh lowered his lips to mine. His kisses started soft, almost as gentle as a butterfly. Then they increased with passion and lust, moving down to my neck and shoulder. His hand found itself on my right breast, gently squeezing the flesh and pulling me in closer with his right arm. My hand found itself fighting to get the button on his jeans open. He got the hint, wrapping my legs around his waist and leading us the guest bedroom.

Josh settled me on the bed, stripping himself from his shirt and pulling his pants and briefs down. My eyes never left his as he took his shaft in his hand.

“Fuck, baby. You’re going to be the death of me,” he murmured as he pumped himself.

“You’ve been a good boy, Josh,” I simply stated as I got down on my knees and replaced his hand with mine. My tongue snaked out, circling his tip and earning a growl from him.

“Oh shit,” he gasped as his hands threaded through my hair.

I did all I could to take him all in. He hit the back of my throat a few times and it made my eyes water a bit. I took my time savoring him, having him lose his mind a bit before he made me his.

As if on instinct, he lifted me up and placed me back on the bed. “Oh no, baby. Let me,” he purred as he began to lift my nightgown and pull down my panties. Josh began to devour me, leaving me without mercy. I bit down on my lip, hopefully not making any sounds because of Kylie.

Josh was like an animal, taking his time with his prey and saving the best for last. His tongue wouldn’t stop swirling around me, like I was the rarest candy that he had ever tasted. He began to suck on my clit and this time, he made me whimper loudly.

“Oh, fuck! Please, Josh. Fuck me,” I pleaded.

He removed himself from me and I watched his lips glistening from my arousal. His eyes were dark, hazed with desire and lust. With a final lick of his lips, he pushed me up further on his bed, eager to have me lose my mind.

“Turn around and get on your knees,” he ordered. I was about to take off the gown until he stopped me.

“Uh-uh, don’t take it off completely. Let it pool around your hands. I would hate to see such a sexy little thing on the floor.”

I followed his instructions and when I was in the proper stance, he ran his fingers along my dripping slit.

“So nice, do I make you wet, baby? Does the idea of me fucking you turn you on?” Josh growled.

“So much,” I managed to answer. “I like it when your cock fills me up.”

Josh pressed himself against me, slowly rocking back and forth. His tip would butt into my clit and I was suddenly beginning to regret ever telling him to fuck me. When we made love, he was so gentle with me, never making me wait for the pleasure. I must admit, that whenever the dominant side of him came out during sex, it turned me on no matter how torturous it was. He ran his hand up and down my back, making me shiver at his touch. I pressed against him, hoping he would continue the teasing.

“Maris, when I fuck you, I need you to give yourself to me. When I tell you to bounce your ass against me, you do it. When I tell you to touch yourself, you’re going to move along with me, got it?”

All I could do was shake my head as he began to ease in the tip. Josh didn’t give me time to think before he rammed into me. My walls clenched him tightly, gripping his throbbing cock.

“Fuck! You’re so fucking tight,” he gasped. His grip on my hips wasn’t too strong, he was careful not to leave bruises. The first few thrusts were nice and slow, letting me adjust to him and take in his fullness. Once he felt that I was completely open to him, he began to pick up the pace.

The sound of our skin slapping against one another echoed louder in the room. I could hear the bed rocking and the mattress squeaking. Our moans added into the pleasure, my knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets and I could feel my arousal trickle down my thigh. Each thrust had me climbing closer to my orgasm faster than ever before.

However, the need for him was far too great for my liking. As much as I wanted to come, I pulled away from Josh, crawling up the bed a little more and laid on my back. My finger motioned him to come to me, and he did. I opened my legs to have him settle against me, gently pulling his lips down to mine. Our tongues caressed one another’s, never wanting for this moment to fade.

When I pulled away, I whispered against his ear, “I want to look at you when you come inside me.”

His eyes had gotten even darker than I had ever seen them. Josh was like a ticking bomb, ready to go off. His licks his lips one last time before he said in a gravelly voice, “Is that what my princess wants?”

I nodded and bit my lip, trying hard not to giggle when he called me that. He placed his lips over mine, nibbling my lower lip, leaving me wanting to feel more of his lips on me.

Josh positioned his cock at my entrance and entered me without warning. The feeling of myself stretching myself around him had my blood boiling. My eyes fluttered shut when Josh hovered above me.

“Look at me. I want to see those beautiful eyes when you come all over me.”

Josh’s thrusts began to pick up the pace, first they were powerful and fast, then he changed the tempo- slowing down as he pulled out and forcefully ramming himself back. He continued to do this and I couldn’t hold back any longer. My orgasm shattered me, making it feel like I was floating among the stars in another universe. Not once did my eyes leave Josh’s and when he came, he didn’t hold back.

“Oh fuck! Yes! Oh fuck yes, baby!” he yelped as he gave a few more thrusts and released in me. The aftershocks made us quake with satisfaction and finally feel sated. Josh collapsed beside me as he tried to regulate his breathing. I turned over to see him with a goofy smile on his face, he simply looked beautiful.

When he opened his eyes, he found me looking at him and he smiled. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, you’re just really beautiful,” I replied with a smile.

“I can’t accept that when I have the most beautiful woman right next to me.”

My heart didn’t want to hold back, I didn’t know how he was going to react when I told him those three words, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

“I love you,” I quietly said. My eyes shut immediately, not wanting to see what his reaction would be. It felt like minutes went by when I felt his fingertips glide along my jaw and thumb caressing my cheek.

“I love you too, Marissa. Please don’t hide from me.”

“You really love me? Broken and all?” I asked again.

“I do. You’re whole to me,” he consoled me with a kiss.

We were in the guest bedroom for about ten minutes, just expressing how much we meant to each other. I suddenly remembered that Kylie was alone in the room and I should get back to her. When I made a move to stand up, I could feel how wet the inside of my thighs were. Josh told me to sit tight while he went into the bathroom to get a wet wash cloth. When he returned, he helped me clean up and although I insisted that I could do it, he refused to let me move. Once he was done with me, he finished cleaning himself off and threw the towel to the counter in the bathroom and quickly pulled on his briefs and shirts.    

Opening the door, we tiptoed in to see Kylie knocked out in between pillows and under the sheets. Josh was the first to gently remove a pillow from her left side. She stirred a bit and squinted to see who interrupted her from her dream.

“Dada,” she mumbled as she turned to him.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, I’m here. Sleep and in the morning, Santa will have many surprises for you,” he comforted as he slipped under the blankets and pulled her close to his chest. Kylie settled her head on his arm and buried her face on his chest. Josh held her protectively, rubbing her tiny back and placing his lips on the top of her head.

I sighed in relief. This is was something out of a fairytale. A king protecting his princess was something I always loved as a child. It brought back memories when I used to play pretend with my dad when I was younger. I knew that Josh would never turn out like him; he was willing to do anything for Kylie and me.

I turned off the lamp on the bedside and snuggled underneath the covers. I scooted in as much as I could to wrap my arms around Kylie as well. Josh’s hand found my arm, soothing me into a sleepy state. Before I completely knocked out, I whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I heard him say right before everything went dark then light again as I dreamt about the family that I finally had.


	12. New Year, New Hope

The moment the plane landed, uneasiness began to settle on me. I looked over to a sleeping Kylie, grateful that she made it through her first flight peacefully. When it was time to board off the plane, I swung my backpack and gingerly lifted Kylie into my arms. She was still dozing when I went to claim our bag. Waiting there with Andre, was Josh- both wearing thick jackets and beanies. My face instantly lit up when I saw Josh. Even though it had only been a few days since we’d seen each other last, he always managed to make me feel like a young girl who had a crush on the football player.

They both saw me and immediately made their way in my direction. I hesitated because there were people around us that probably knew who he was. Whenever we went out back home, we always tried to maintain a low profile. Josh was recognized a few times, but the encounters weren’t bad. Sometimes fans would wait outside the restaurant if we went out for lunch or dinner. They would say that they didn’t want to interrupt us while we ate. Everyone was gracious and respectful when we were out. However, we avoided going out at night since that’s when the paparazzi would hound people.

Josh was the first to approach me, carefully wrapping his arms around me and Kylie. His cheeks were cool and slightly pink. He was about to give me a kiss when I pulled back, making sure no one around would see.

“Babe, there are people around,” I spoke up with worry.

“Baby, I don’t care. I haven’t seen my beautiful girls that I love for a few days and I missed you a lot. Please don’t worry about everyone else,” he soothed.

He was right. Josh was my boyfriend and if I wanted to kiss him, I was going to kiss him without regret. My lips formed into a shy smile before they met his. His kisses always made me feel warm inside and they could seriously make me melt in an instant. Josh then looked over to see if Kylie was awake. She was still out when Josh placed a kiss on her cheek and took her from my arms. She stirred a bit, but quickly relaxed as she placed her head on his shoulder. Josh swayed back and forth all while he placed kisses on her temple and ear.

“How was the flight, Marissa?” Andre asked.

“It was a bit bumpy, but smooth nonetheless,” I answered. “I thought Kylie was going to freak out on me and cry during the whole flight. Thank god I wasn’t one of those parents whose kid wouldn’t shut up for hours.”

“Well, she certainly got in her nap for the day,” he laughed.

The buzzer went off and Andre was kind enough to pick out my bag. All three of us walked out and I was in shock to see how the snow covered the streets. Josh strapped Kylie into a car seat that he had bought and we were on our way to Union. After five minutes, Kylie was awake and she placed her tiny hand in mine. I was as nervous as anyone would be when they were about to meet their significant other’s parents, and her gesture made me feel at ease.

When we finally arrived at his house, I felt like my whole body was turning into jello. I unstrapped Kylie from her seat and got out of the car. Andre took care of my bag and made his way towards the front door. Josh walked over to me when he saw that I wasn’t following him.

“Maris, what’s wrong?” he wondered, as Kylie tried to touch his cheek.

“Josh, I know you told your family about me and Kylie, but….will they really accept me?” I cracked. Not every parent was accepting of their child dating someone who had a pre-started family.

“Baby, it’s okay. My mom remembers you from the restaurant and I explained to her how I felt about you. I’m old enough to make my own decisions, okay? Don’t worry about it.” He assured me with a quick kiss and led me the entrance.

“Mom! We’re back!” Josh chimed as we walked in. His house was beautiful, cozy and warm. I trailed behind Josh as we walked towards the kitchen where I could hear his mother’s voice along with another person’s, whom I assumed was his brother.

“Oh hello there!” she greeted as she saw us. Kylie hid her face in my hair as his mother came in.

“You must be Marissa! It’s so nice to meet you! Please call me Michelle,” she insisted.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you again,” I smiled.

“And this must be Kylie! She’s grown since we last saw her in August. She’s so beautiful, she looks exactly like you!”

I tried to lift Kylie’s face. “Come on, baby. Say hi to Josh’s mommy.”

She peeked up to look at Michelle and smiled brightly before she leaned her head on my shoulder.

“Hi,” she squeaks before hiding once again.

We both laugh at the cute moment. “She’s shy, but she gets over it quickly.”

“We’ll please come in, make yourselves at home!”

I saw Connor walk in my direction so he could introduce himself. “Hey, I’m Connor. It’s nice to finally meet the girl that has my brother drooling. I can definitely see why.”

“Ha, well thank you. It’s nice to meet you too. This is my daughter Kylie,” I responded.

Kylie finally peeked up again and smiled at Connor. “Oh, you’re so cute,” he giggled as he tickled her cheek.

“Come on, I’ll take you down to the room,” Josh spoke up as he picked up my bag.

We walked down a flight of stairs only to arrive at what looked like an apartment. There was a full screen TV along with a couch, a pool table and a bedroom with a bathroom right next to it. Josh walked right into the room and plopped the bag down.

“Well, this is my room!”

I placed Kylie down on her feet as she began to wander on her own around the room. I hung up my jacket and took a good look around the room. It was spacious and very him.

“Umm, we didn’t mean to kick you out of your room, Josh. We can sleep in the guest room,” I suggested as I sat on the foot of his bed.

“Why would you think that?” he laughed at my comment.

“Josh, your mom is upstairs. I don’t think she’d like it if we were all in the same room.”

He knelt down in front of me and took my hands in his. “Baby, it’s okay. My mom doesn’t care. Besides, I think Kylie likes to cuddle with me so….it’s two against one!” he laughed as he kissed my nose.

Kylie came from the side to pull on Josh’s hand. “Dada, play?” she asked.

“Of course, my sweet pea. Let’s go upstairs!” he excitedly told her as he lifted her above his head as if she were an airplane. I giggled to myself, but I really hoped that Michelle wouldn’t try to dig up my past.

~~~

Kylie’s laughter rang through the living room as Michelle and I made dinner. Josh, Connor and Andre were all in the living room playing with Kylie. It was simply heartwarming to see how accepting they were of her.

Michelle and I talked about everything- from how Josh and I’s relationship formed to how Josh was attached with Kylie.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Kylie’s dad?”

As much as I tried to hide it, the pain and disappointment from Omar was never going to go away.

“He’s not in the picture. When I told him that I was pregnant, he told me to get rid of it. That if I ever went around saying it was his, he would deny it. He wasn’t ready to be a parent so I had to take over both roles.” The pain on my face was apparent. I couldn’t hide anything and I was done pretending that I wasn’t hurting.

“Oh sweetie, there are some people out there who don’t have enough guts to do what you’re doing. I believe in karma and it’s going to come to him real soon.”

I took a quick glance at Josh who was on his hands in knees, pretending he was a horse and giving Kylie a ride on his back. She was so happy and care free, it was too good to be true.

“She really loves Josh,” Michelle spoke up.

“I know, I tried teaching her to call Josh by his name, but she insists on calling him daddy. There are times when I feel that it will be too much for Josh and he’ll leave us. I really don’t want him to carry that burden,” I admitted sadly.

“Sweetheart, you need to get that idea out of your head. Josh loves both of you and he knows that you had a rough past. If he didn’t want anything to do with you, do you think he’d stay this long? I’ve never seen him like this, so in love. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

“You really think so?” I asked bewildered.

“I know so. A mother knows best.”

Her kind words erased any doubts that I had in my mind. She reminded me so much of my own mother, how she would always be there to erase any insecurity that I had. I couldn’t help myself and I gave her a hug.

“Thank you,” I whispered in her ear. I could feel tears threatening to fall. “You remind me so much of my own mom and there isn’t a day when I don’t wish she was here with me. She would have told me everything that you just said. I know my grandmother would say the same things, but I need reassurance from her.”

“We may have met just a few hours ago, but you can count on me,” she consoled.

I thanked her for her words, grateful that she didn’t push me into second guessing anything.

~~~

Over the next few days, I met many of Josh’s closest friends and family. We even took a special trip for the day to meet his dad and his other family. Josh took us around Union and Cincinnati to show us the many things that he loved about the area.

When it came to New Years Eve, the family decided to throw a party. Josh talked about random themed parties that they had. Since it was cold and everyone was feeling too cold to dress up, we decided to have a pajama themed party.  

“Um, Josh? I don’t think my pajamas are appropriate for that day,” I said as we got ready for bed that night.

“Oh really?” his eyebrow cocked at my response. He stopped brushing his teeth while the toothpaste was all over his mouth.

“Well, yeah. I can’t go out with these skimpy nightgowns. They’re for your eyes only,” I winked.

Josh finished brushing his teeth and swiftly brought me up to sit on the counter. His hand began to trace along the hem of my gown. “You’re damn right it’s for my eyes only. If we didn’t have anyone around, I’d have you walk around the house in this number or maybe less- like that red laced bra and underwear that you have. Of course, Kylie would need to be asleep in order for us to have fun,” he purred. “We’ll go to the store to find you something.”

His lips began to skim my neck lightly as his hand made their way towards my aching heat. I desperately needed him to touch me. I tried my best to meet my hips with his hand, but he pulled away.

“Wha- why did you?” I began

“How about….we celebrate the New Year alone when everyone is asleep?” he groans.

“You’re going to make me wait?” I huffed.

“I guarantee that the wait will be worth it.”

There was a slight pause. As much as I hated to wait, he was right.

“Well, if that’s the case…I expect you to fuck me until I can’t walk right,” I purred.

“Oh princess, I’ll make you sore in places you never thought you could feel sore.”

~~~

It was officially the last day of the year. Michelle and I were busy in the kitchen preparing the food while the boys cleaned up the house in preparation for the guests. We made a bunch of finger food because we wanted to be busy hanging out with everyone instead of hanging out in the kitchen.

The guests started arriving around 6. It was a bit nerve racking when I introduced myself to Josh’s family members, but he was always by my side. Everyone was very welcoming of Kylie too. She was passed around each family member that wanted to hold her and she wasn’t fussy at all.

As it got closer to midnight, I walked over to the door that led to the back yard. I stared at the frost covering the grass as thoughts wheeled through my head. How could it be that my perspective on love change so much within months? I was bitter and cold, but Josh came along and changed everything. My past was something that I thought would always mark me, but he saw through that. He didn’t care if I had family issues or how the father of my baby abandoned us. My flaws didn’t seem to faze him at all. All this time, I was worried that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone with Kylie. No guy would ever lay eyes on me when I had a little one by my side, but Josh didn’t care. He treated Kylie as his own and it gave me hope knowing that not all guys were the same. Josh loved us and we loved him with all our hearts. He was the one and no one came close.

“Hey, are you okay?” Josh asked over my shoulder.

“Y-yeah, I was just thinking,” I replied as my eyes set on the grass once more.

“About what?” he asked as he rubbed my shoulders.

I turned around to face him. “About us, how thankful we are to have you in our lives. I love you so much, I can’t see myself with anyone but you.”

I could feel tears prick my eyes as I continued. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.”

Josh wiped a tear away from my face. “I love you more than words can describe. I know that I have a past too, but you’re different. You and Kylie mean the world to me now and I don’t plan on having anyone replace you.”

“Hey, love birds!! It’s almost midnight!!!” Connor warned us.

Josh wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked to join the rest of the family. The countdown began and Kylie wandered over to me and held out her arms so I could pick her up.

“25, 24, 23…..”

Here we were, ringing in the New Year together. 2015 was close and I only hoped that this year would be filled with a little less drama and more love than ever.

“15, 14, 13, 12…..”

“Have you ever been kissed at midnight?” Josh asked in my ear.

“Nope, I guess this counts as a first,” I grinned.

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year!” everyone cheered.

“Happy New Year, Maris,” Josh huskily whispers in my ear. His lips seal over mine, slowly letting our tongues dance around each other. However, we had to pull away because we had people around.

“Happy New Year, my baby!” I wished Kylie. I placed the biggest kiss on her cheek before I handed her over to Josh.

“Happy New Year, angel! Would you like a kiss?” Josh didn’t give time for Kylie to answers and places kisses all over her face. Kylie leaned in to give Josh a quick peck on his lips and wrapping her arms around his neck.

We walked around to give everyone a hug and wished them a happy new year. Every glance that I made of Kylie and Josh together made me happier than ever. It seemed that Kylie was adapting to everything around her and was comfortable with Michelle, Connor and the other family members.

The clock chimed at 2 and it was time to put Kylie down to sleep. I was surprised to see that she lasted this long awake and stayed full of energy. Josh went down to his room with me as we both tucked her in the bed. I closed the door behind me so the music and the yelling wouldn’t wake her. Once I was free, Josh had me up against him as he leaned us towards the pool table.

“I hope you’re still up for tonight’s surprise,” he groaned as he tried to cop a feel of my breast under my long sleeve top.

“Anything from you is very well received. I just hope I don’t tire you out,” I teased.

“Trust me, baby. I can guarantee you that I can go all night long. I might just take you on this pool table. Are you up for the challenge?”

My breath began to pick up, even though I knew that we still had to wait a bit more, it was going to be worth every second.

“Challenge accepted.” 


	13. Just the Two of Us

**Josh**

The sudden ring of Marissa’s phone disrupted our sleep. She groaned and lifted her arm off of Kylie to picked up her phone from the bedside table.

“Don’t answer it,” I mumbled.

“I have to, it’s work,” she groaned. “Hello?”

There was silence on Marissa’s part as she sighed in disappointment.

“What time do you want me to be there?”

Great, she had to get called in on her day off.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” She yawned and hung up the phone, kicking off the covers as she placed her feet on the floor.

“I need to be there at 10, someone called in sick,” she mumbled.

I was on my elbow, squinting to see what I could of her wonderful behind in these tiny plaid shorts that she wore to bed. “Do you have any work clothes here?”

“Yeah, I’ll get them out now before I shower,” she replied.

Ever since getting back from Kentucky, Marissa and I had moved into the part of the relationship where she and Kylie were keeping stuff at my place. On her free days, they were over at my place and made themselves at home. Something about the trip to Union made everything feel easier. As cliché as it sounded, the new year was going to be a new start for us and so far, it’s been great.

Marissa pulled out her clothes from a drawer on the other side of the room before she made her way into the bathroom. She started to strip herself, starting with her top and she dropped it carelessly at the doorway.

“Do you need help?” I managed to croak.

“It’s okay, sleepyhead. You can keep Kylie company while I’m in the shower. I know you had your first rough night,” she slightly giggled as she closed the door.

Kylie was snuggled up in the sheets beside me. Her arms were sprawled out beside her as I saw her chest rise and fall. Last night was the first night that I actually experienced what it would be like to be a parent. Even though this experience might have scared some guys, it did the opposite with me. It only brought me closer with my angel, wanting to know what was wrong with her.

~~~

_She must have had a nightmare and was up bawling her eyes out for a good ten minutes. Marissa and I tried everything we could to calm her, rocking her to sleep and pacing around the room. Nothing worked. After a while, she started to calm down when Marissa began to sing to her “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes”, but still was clutching Marissa’s shirt with her tiny fists. Her eyes began to close as Marissa sang another Disney song. Her voice was like no other, soothing and angelic- casting a sleeping spell on her princess._

“Flower, gleam and glow. Let your power shine. Make the clock reverse. Bring back what once was mine.

“Heal what has been hurt. Change the fate’s design. Save what has been lost. Bring back what once was mine- what once was mine.”

_Marissa’s singing was beyond brilliant, lovelier than anyone I’d ever heard. She checked to see if Kylie was asleep and sure enough, she was completely out. Marissa looked over at me, smiling shyly before she walked in my direction. She placed Kylie next to me, smoothing her hair off her forehead and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. She stirred a bit, but settled in a second._

_“I’m sorry. She never cries like that,” she explained._

_“No, it’s okay, baby. She must have had a nightmare,” I responded as I settled myself on the pillow._

_Marissa turned off the lamp and slipped under the covers on the other side of Kylie. She placed her arm over the baby, so Kylie could tell she was close by. I scooted in closer, draping my arm over hers. Kylie would sleep in peace, dreaming of tea parties with her favorite princess and away from the monsters that were chasing her._

~~~

As the hum of the shower seeped in, I watched Kylie- studying her features. She had shiny, dark golden hair that reflected beautifully in the sun. Her long eyelashes fanned out against her rosy cheeks. Her lips were pouty, much like her mother’s. She was simply her doppelganger and she was going to be just as gorgeous when she gets older.

Kylie sighed a few times before she peeked through her eyelashes and closed them once more. I couldn’t help but lean in and give her a kiss on her forehead. She was too cute for words.

The water stopped running and Marissa stepped out a few minutes later. She was dressed in her work attire as her wet hair dangled down her back. She smiled seeing us cuddling together under the comforter. Marissa walked over to pull out an outfit for Kylie and tried to wake her up.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of her today,” I quietly mumbled.

“Josh, it’s okay, my grandparents can watch her and besides, I have work tomorrow so there’s that,” she reasoned.

“Babe, let me, please? She’ll be okay with me and if I need help, I can call Heather.”

She smiled at my attempt on being the babysitter. “Okay.”

She walked back into the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup. When she came out, she leaned over to give me a kiss. “I love you. I’ll be back at 3,” she whispered. The taste of her cherry Chapstick made me want to nibble on her lips more.

“I love you too, and don’t worry. She’ll be okay with me,” I said.

Marissa leans down to give Kylie a kiss. “I love you, princess. Be good for daddy.”

Once she was gone, I snuggled down into the blankets even more and enveloped Kylie in my arms. She seemed to respond to me when she placed her hand on my cheek. She was safe in my arms and that’s how I always wanted it to be.

~~~

I woke up to Kylie moving about in my arms. “Dada?” she asked as she rubbed my cheek insistently.

“Hi, baby. Did you sleep okay after last night?”

Kylies sparkled as she nodded and tried to look for Marissa. She got up, patting Marissa’s pillow.

“Mommy is working today and she’ll be back soon. Do you want to get up?” I asked her.

She responded by holding her arms out to me. I picked her up so I could get her changed and dressed and then I decided we both needed breakfast.

We both walked into the kitchen so I could make something for myself. I turned on the TV to a kid channel for Kylie. While she was busy paying attention to it, I made myself some cereal and brought over a small bowl of cheerios for her along with her sippy cup of milk if she wanted any. We both watched Dora the Explorer while we ate our breakfast, Kylie even managed to feed me some of her cheerios- holding up a cheerio to my mouth and letting me nibble on her fingers. She kept abandoning her cheerios to walk around and act silly. She even tried to dance for me- bouncing on her feet, stumbling, and then getting back into her bouncing mode. Eventually I had to join in on the fun, picking her up and spinning around. 

It was a beautiful January day and I thought about taking Kylie out to play. There was a park nearby and no paparazzi would be around to bother us. I made sure Kylie had her shoes on and then we were on our way to the park.

No one was at the little kid section of the park. When I put Kylie down on her feet, she waddled over to the sand. Her steps on the sand were so comical and it had me laughing so much that she had reached down and grabbed a handful of sand and nearly shoved it into her mouth before I stopped her.

“No, princess! We don’t eat that,” I explained as I wiped her hand from any sand left that she dropped. I hoped that she wouldn’t get upset.

Kylie looked at up at me, her bottom lip wavering for a second.  _Please don’t cry_ , I thought.

“Okay,” she said quietly. Then her eyes lit up and the pout was gone from her face “Dada, slide!” she exclaimed as she spotted the slides.

I held her hand and walked her over to the slides. We both climbed the steps and sat at the top, sliding down together as she sat on my lap. Her arms were flailing and she was laughing uncontrollably when we slid down together. Kylie then decided that she wanted to ride those horses on springs that were next to the swings. She held on tightly while I rocked the horse back and forth. Her giggles filled the air and I felt like my heart was overflowing with emotion.

Once Kylie had had enough of the horses, she attempted to get off by herself. First she placed one leg down and then the other when she lost her balance and fell on her behind. I rushed to her to help her up, fearing that she was going to cry. She didn’t though, she simply got to her feet and began to walk towards the swing.

“Do you want to go on, baby?” I asked her.

She nods eagerly and I help her on the swing. I began to push her gently and the look that she gave me made me giggle along with her. Kylie had a look on her face as if she was having the time of her life. Every time she swung, I stopped the swing in front of me and puckered my lips to place a kiss on her. She giggled a few times and continued enjoying the swing.

“I love you,” I cooed every time I stopped the swing.

“I wuv oo,” she responded.

My ears couldn’t believe it. She actually said ‘I love you’ to me. I felt like a proud papa at the moment and I had to ask her to repeat it. Every time she said it, her voice would pitch a bit higher and louder. This was something that I had to text Marissa about, even though she wasn’t going to respond right away.

Just as I was finishing the text, my phone rang. I looked and saw that it was my manager calling, so I knew I should answer.

“Hello?”

“Good news, Josh. Do you remember that part that you auditioned for a few months ago? The cop character? Well, you got the part!” he excitedly exclaimed.

To be honest, I had completely forgotten about that audition. It was back in October and I remembered mentioning it to Marissa. I really didn’t think I was going to get the part because I hadn’t heard anything until now.

“That’s great! I’m really excited about this. This will be the first movie roll I’ve landed since I signed with you guys!”

“Yeah, it’s going to be a great opportunity for you and it’s going to open up many doors. I have all the info that you’ll need. Can you come by my office on Friday around 12?”

“Absolutely! Thank you for the great news!”

“Congratulations, Josh. You deserve it.”

Kylie was now reaching out, trying to catch my attention. “Dada!” she screeched.

I lifted her into my arms and gave her the biggest kiss on the cheek. “Oh, princess! Daddy got some exciting news! Can’t wait to tell mommy when she comes back,” I told her, even though I knew she didn’t understand. “I just hope Mommy will be excited too.” 

All Kylie did was look at me with those wide, innocent eyes and smile. I tickled her tummy as we walked back to the parking lot. Just when I was getting closer to my car, there were two teenage girls nearby. As I approached the car, they spotted me and casually made their way towards me.

“Hi, Josh! Umm, we were wondering if we can take a picture with you?” the first girl asked.

“Sure, just let me strap her in.”

Once Kylie was settled in, I turned to the girls who were waiting patiently for me. They were both calm and collected when they took turns with the picture.

“Who’s that? Are you babysitting?” the blonde asked.

“Kind of, she’s my girlfriend’s daughter,” I responded proudly.

“She’s so cute! Whoever has you as their boyfriend is sure lucky,” the brunette chipped in.

“Thank you, but I’m actually the lucky one,” I gushed.

“Well, thank you for the picture, Josh.” They both gave me a hug and were on their way to the park.

When we arrived at the house, Kylie was yawning and I figured it was time for a nap. I placed her on my bed and she wouldn’t let me go just yet.

“No, dada. Say,” she pleaded.

“You want me to stay?” I asked her.

She nodded and I had no choice but to cuddle with her. I grabbed the blanket and covered her. Kylie snuggled into my chest and took a few deep breaths before she began to breathe steadily. My phone began to buzz and I quickly tried to turn off the ringer before it woke up Kylie.

“Hey, babe,” I answered as I stealthily got up the bed, careful not to disturb Ky.

“I finally saw your text. I’m on my break right now and I want to hear details!” she squealed.

“Well, we went to the park nearby and I was pushing her on the swing. I kept telling her that I loved her and she attempted to say it. You have no idea how happy I am right now!” I rejoiced as I sat on the couch.

“Aww, baby! I’m so happy that she told you that. Now I wish she would tell me that,” she admitted sadly.

“She’s down for a nap now, but when she wakes up, I’ll keep practicing it with her.”

Marissa talked about how they had this one angry customer come in and how he made ridiculous requests. She even mentioned how Zac Efron decided to have breakfast there and how a bunch of women flocked to him. I let her talk, but I was dreading telling her the news about my new project. It had to be done because I didn’t her to find out from an outside source.

“Hey, baby. Remember that role that I tried out for back in October? Well, I got a call from my manager and I got the part.” I was very timid, waiting for her response.

“Th-that’s great, Josh! I knew that you would get that part!” She was excited for me and I breathed in a huge sigh of relief.

“Thank you. I have a meeting on Friday and I think I’ll find out the detail with the whole thing then.”

“Is this the one where the movie location is in San Francisco?”

Shit. That was the only bad thing about it. Things were going so well for us and I was about to embark in another project far from LA.

“Y-yeah, but we can figure out something when I have to start on the film, okay? I love you and we’ll find a way,” I reassured her.

“I know. It will be okay. Shit, I have to go now. I’ll see you when I get back. Love you.”

“Okay, we’ll be waiting for you. Love you too.”

When I hung up the phone, the slight pain in my chest was starting to bother me. I really haven’t given a lot a thought of when I had to go and work on location. I mean, LA to San Francisco isn’t that long of a flight, maybe Marissa could come and see me. But it all depended on her work schedule. Then there was Kylie. I had grown attached to my princess and I know that she doesn’t like it when she doesn’t see me for a long period of time.

I wandered back into my room before stopping at the doorway of the guest room. I chuckled, thinking about the times when Marissa and I had to sneak into this room in the middle of the night. The sexual tension was too much for us and we always found a way to satisfy our needs.

Then, a thought hit me. I imagined the bone colored walls a soft pink, along with a tiny bed with pink and white flowers embroidered on the comforter. White furniture would placed everywhere as cream-colored curtains would blow in the wind when the window was open. The lamp on the bedside would give off a soft glow, creating a magical hideaway. Every night, I would have someone to tuck in, to read stories to or stay with until they drifted off into a dreamland.

The thought was completely out there. I wouldn’t know how Marissa would handle an offer to have her move in with me, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I loved her so much that it made my heart hurt. I already considered Kylie mine, and all three of us were becoming the family that I always wanted. It was a long shot but I really hoped Marissa would say yes.

All that I needed to do was wait until Marissa came home. I know that she would like the idea of coming home to me and her baby. It was a big step, but I know that we’re both ready to walk down this path together.


	14. Mind Games

“A-are you serious?” I stuttered. We were both at the table discussing Josh’s proposition while Kylie played in the living room.

“Yeah, I am,” Josh replied timidly.

My mind went off track when Josh asked me to move in with him. Was it too soon? Were we really ready for that?

“But-,” He cut me off by placing a finger up to my lips.

“Baby, I know that this might scare you, but I really want you to move in with me. You may judge me for this, but earlier after you called, I had this vision hit me. Of Kylie sleeping in the guest room, after we transformed it into a room of her own. I’d like for you and Kylie to move in because you guys are my home. This house is huge and it gets lonely at times. Coming home to you two would be everything that I could ask for.”

Thoughts reeled through my head and the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like it was something I wanted. Since the day that I found out that I was pregnant, I had tried to think of the positive side to things. I had hoped that Omar would go against his parents’ wishes and support me. We could’ve lived in a decent home and together, raise Kylie so that she could have a mother and a father. But after we walked out on me, those dreams and wishes of the three of us being a family walked away with him.

Tears blurred my vision as I felt a drop roll down my cheek. I was happy that I was finally going to live the life that I always wanted.

“Baby, why are you crying?” he asked as he wiped a tear away with his thumb.

“You’re going to think I’m stupid,” I blurted out.

“I won’t, I promise.” Josh brought me over to his lap, wrapping his arms around me so I wouldn’t have any other choice but to tell him.

I took in a deep breath and tried to keep my voice calm. “The day that I found out I was pregnant, I thought Omar and I were going to be together and raise our baby. When he walked out, I didn’t think I would ever have a chance at that again. I was always going to be a single mom. Alone with my child.”

“You’re not alone. I love you and we’re in this together. I’ll be there to support you and Kylie. You guys are my world now and if I lose either of you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. For the first time in a very long time, I felt wanted. I kissed him lightly, letting our lips hover and resting my forehead against his.

Suddenly, we heard, “Mamaaaa!!!!!!!”

“I should check on Kylie,” I whispered as I got off his lap. I wiped my tears away so Kylie wouldn’t think I was crying.

Josh tugged on my arm before I could go any further. “So, will you move in with me?” he asked once more.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, Josh. I’ll move in with you.”

~~~

“He asked you to move in with you?!” Justin shrieked. I had invited him over to my grandparents’ house the next day for lunch because I wanted to tell him the news outside of work.

“Yeah! I’m actually really excited!”

“I’m really happy for you, Maris. The glow in your face is finally back, all thanks to that boy,” my grandmother chimed in.

“I really am happy with life right now, grandma. Josh is everything that I could’ve asked for and he’s willing to step up to the plate with me for Kylie. He’s like a dream come true,” I gushed.

I had it bad and I really didn’t care. When I told him that I would move in with him, he wanted to immediately move in all of my things. He was so eager to get the ball rolling, but I stopped him. I reminded him that we had to wait until after the meeting with his manager, which was today. We both agreed that we could shop for Kylie’s room now, but we would move my stuff in when he was done with the movie.

“So when are you officially moving in?” Justin asked as he dug into his lunch.

“Well, he has a new movie lined up and he’s going to be gone for a few months. I told him that I thought it was best to wait until he was done.”

“That’s a big gap in between now and then, Maris,” my grandmother reasoned.

“I know, but if I do move in and he comes down to visit, he’ll be here for a few days before he has to go. If I’m going to live there, I want to see him every day.”

“That’s true. Are you guys going to talk about it soon?” Justin questioned.

“Hopefully today. We get to find out what the future holds for us.”

~~~

Josh finally called me when he was back at the house. I packed our stuff and drove straight to him. When he answered the door, Kylie immediately attached herself to his leg.

“So, what happened?” I asked as we walked into the living room. Josh settled Kylie on her feet and she walked straight to her toy bin that Josh had in the corner of the room.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Shooting is going to last three and a half months and we start next month. I’ll be able to get short breaks and I can fly down here when I’m given the chance, but…”

He wouldn’t look at me in the eye, he was staring at his lap the whole time. I lifted his chin up so he could tell me what was making him hesitate. “What is it, baby?”

The response that I got was him wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. His vice grip didn’t loosen and I was worried that something happened at the meeting.

“Josh, what’s wrong? Are you not comfortable with this movie? Talk to me,” I soothed him as I ran my hands over his shoulders.

“I just, I don’t know how I’ll handle those months away from you,” he admitted. The tone of his voice sounded like he was choking back a sob. “I want you to move with me to San Francisco, but I know you have obligations. It scares me when I’m not with you.”

I could see his bottom lip quiver as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. It hurt me to see him in so much pain. I placed my lips over his, hopefully calming him.

“Baby, please don’t feel sad. There could be weekends when we can go and visit you and vice versa. I don’t want you to feel bad. We’ll both be here when you come back, we’re not going anywhere,” I assured him.

Kylie walked over to us, patting Josh’s lap. She looked concern seeing him so distraught.

“Dada?” Her bright eyes shimmered in the light, like she was about to cry too.

Josh picked her up and placed her on his lap. He held her tight as well, keeping a secure grip around us. “I love you guys so much, you know that, right?” he told us.

“We know, we love you more than you can imagine,” I affirmed.

“You girls are too good for me, but I promise to work hard to get to you guys sooner.”

~~~

“Fuck, baby. Faster please,” I pleaded as I clawed Josh’s shoulders.

Josh was above me, pounding into me without shame. We snuck off into the guest room, as it was his last night before he was flying to San Francisco. All three of us spent the weekend together, one last time before he started work on the new movie. Josh did whatever he could to make Kylie and me happy. He clung to us as if we were about to drift away in the wind. On our last night together, Josh couldn’t keep his hands off me. It felt like he was exploring every inch of me once again. His fingers traveled all over my body, memorizing every detail of it.

“You’re so beautiful, Marissa. I love you,” he whispered.  

 “Fuck! Make me come, baby.”

“Take me with you, Marissa. Please.”

The wave crashed harder than it ever had- only this time, we both crashed at the same time. I was wailing his name, trying to keep the sound to a minimum. Josh made a few thrusts more before he pulled out of me. The realization of him leaving tomorrow overwhelmed me and I began to cry. Josh pulled me against his chest, letting the tears hit his skin.

“Shh, baby. It’s okay. We’ll be together before you know it. You need to be strong for me- strong for Kylie. I promise I’ll work hard to come back to you. You’re the love of my life.”

“And you’re mine,” I sniffled as I leaned up and kissed him. I didn’t care if my tears covered my face. I wanted to feel his lips and with the precious hours that we had left, I wanted to feel them as much as I could.

We lay there in silence, caressing each other until we felt sleepy. Both of us got dressed and walked back into the bedroom where Kylie was sprawled out. Josh slipped in on one side while I slipped in on the other. He pulled Kylie towards him, her back to his chest and kissed the top of her head. Not only did it make me hurt that Josh wouldn’t be here for us, but I worried about how Kylie was going to handle all of this. She was absolutely torn when Josh went to promote the first part of Mockingjay. I didn’t know how I was going to explain it to her that her daddy was going to be away working, but right now, all I could do was let Josh comfort her and hold her until they both drifted off in their dreams.

The next morning, Josh tried to explain to Kylie to the best of his ability that he was going to be gone for a bit. He explained that she had to be a good girl for me and that every day, he was going to call her to see how she was. Occasionally, he told her, he would come home for a few days and would spend every minute of his visits with her.

Kylie nodded her head at everything Josh had to say, not completely understanding everything he said.

We ate our breakfast in silence and it was killing me. I did what I could to break the tension. “So, what part of San Francisco will you be shooting in?”

“Well, we’ll mostly be in the south part of the city, but we’ll be shooting all over,” he explained.

“That’s neat. Hopefully Adam will let me go some day.”

“I’d really like for you guys to come visit, but it’s okay if you can’t.”  

I smiled, really hoping that we could go to San Francisco for at least one weekend. “I’ll do whatever I can, I promise.” I reached over the tabled and placed my hand on top of his.

“I love you, you know that?” he asked.

“I know, I love you more.”

It was close to one when I took Josh and Andre to LAX. Josh was kind enough to let me use his Jeep while he was gone. It helped tremendously since they both had suitcases that were big enough to hold belongings for months.

After they checked in, it was time for them to go through security and wait at their gate. Before they went in line, we waited off to the side to say our final goodbyes. Andre was the first to give me a hug.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” he promised.

“Thank you.”

Andre then picked Kylie out of my arms to give her one last goodbye hug. This gave me time to say my goodbyes to Josh.

“Another test,” he stated simply.

“Yeah, I just wish they weren’t so frequent.”

Josh wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my body against his. Just hours ago, his rigid body was hovering above mine, determined to make me lose all control. I was going to miss that feeling of being protected. My heart hurt when I had to let him go. He leaned down and kissed me with so much love and pain. I could feel the tears run down my cheeks and at that moment, I didn’t care if people around were staring.

“I love you. I will never get tired of saying it,” I managed to sob.

“I love you, baby. Please don’t cry. I don’t like seeing those beautiful eyes fill up with tears,” Josh soothed.

Andre brought Kylie over and it hurt me to see her looking from me to Josh, trying to figure out what was going on. When she saw me crying, her eyes began to well up with tears. Josh took her in his arms and cradled her to him. As much as Josh tried to control his emotions, he couldn’t help himself but let a tear fall.

Josh patted Kylie’s hair as he began to speak to her. “Okay, princess, I have to go work now. Promise me that you’ll be a good girl for mommy and that you’ll take care of her, okay? I’ll call you every day and I’ll try to visit you or maybe you can visit me. Is that a deal?”

Kylie brought her face up to his, running her hands over his cheeks. She sighed deeply, a sob was caught in her throat.

“I love you, Kylie.”

“I wuv oo, dada.” Josh kissed both of her cheeks and began to hand her over to me.

“Come back to me,” I whispered against his lips.

“Promise.”

~~~

The first two weeks without Josh passed sluggishly. We Skyped anytime he had a chance but he made time to Facetime with us every day. Kylie was over the moon when she saw Josh through my phone, but she would get upset every time we had to hang up. Every night at bedtime, Kylie would ask for daddy and I had to remind her of what Josh told her at the airport. She slept with me every night, cuddling with her stuffed panda bear that Josh had given her. It was brutal, but knowing that the following week Josh was going to come visit us for a few days got me through.

It was now Wednesday and Aroma was as packed as ever. All of us were busy taking countless order or delivering them to the tables packed with hungry customers. All seemed calm until Lydia huffed when she came up to me.

“I guess we have some Hollywood brats that showed up. They talk as if they’re hot shit and act like everyone should know who they are.”

“And who exactly is giving you a hard time?” I wondered.

“I gave them table fourteen out in the patio. I don’t know her name, but I’ve seen her somewhere. She’s with a few of her friends and acted like she was the queen when she offered to pay the bill. Talk about self centered,” she finished.

“Well, if you want, I can deliver their plates so you don’t have to deal with them,” I offered.

“Oh thank you so much, Maris. You are my life saver. I promise that your next obnoxious customer will be dealing with me.”

“Haha deal.”

Within ten minutes, the kitchen rang in the order of the people of table fourteen. I carried the tray full of food and brought along a stand to place the tray on. As I got closer to the table, the girls turned their attention to me when I announced the arrival of their food. However, it was a moment that I wish I never walked into.

“So Chloe, tell us about your trip up to San Francisco! Was Josh there?” the first girl that I placed a plate in front of asked.

“Oh yeah, he was there! Jarod insisted that I go with him because he wanted to visit him, but he also knows that I’m still not over him,” Chloe giggled.

“Did anything happen while you were there?” the second friend questioned her.

“Nothing at first, but there were times when I totally felt like Josh was flirting with me. He brought Jarod and me onto the set and the last few nights, Josh and I went out for dinner and then clubbing after.”

My cheeks were burning at all the information this Chloe was dishing out to her friends. How could Josh possibly do this? He loved me and just two weeks without me and he was already getting someone else to satisfy his needs? I felt like crying, dropping everything and leaving for the day.

“The Aroma Caesar Salad?” I asked in a trembling voice.

“That would be mine,” Chloe spoke up. When I was about to place the plate in front of her, I lost my grip and accidentally dropped the plate to the table with a thud.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized.

“That’s fine, as long as it didn’t spill on me,” she replied icily.

“So that was it? You guys didn’t even spend the night with each other?” the third friend asked in a hushed voice, careful not to let anyone around the perimeter of their table hear.

“Well…,” Chloe trailed. “We might have had a drunken night together.”

All five of them giggled as I finished placing their plates in front of them. “Enjoy your meal, ladies,” I said to them without any emotion at all. I didn’t even stay long enough to hear if they thanked me.

Hot tears were streaming down my face. The split of my heart was too much to handle. When Lydia saw me, she quickly rushed to my side. “Marissa, what happened? Did those girls say something to you?”

“Josh….he….he…cheated on me!” I sobbed. Lydia quickly took me outside since no one was at the register.

When the cool air hit my face, I couldn’t hold back my cries anymore. “He cheated on me with that girl who you didn’t like!”

“Are you serious? Did she really? That fucking bitch, I’m going to go tell her off.” She was about to walk back into the restaurant before I stopped her.

“No, please don’t do anything. I don’t want you to risk your job for me,” I begged. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.

“What are you going to do then?” she asked.

“I’m going to talk to Josh and if he admits to it, then we are through.”

“But what about Kylie? She’s so attached to him and he’s the same way with her,” she reasoned.    

“It’s doesn’t matter. She’ll learn to live without him,” I said bluntly. The pain in my stomach made me feel nauseous, but I didn’t want to go home.

“I’m going to call him right after work to confront him. I don’t need someone who will use me, I already had it happened once to me and I sure as hell don’t want it happening to me or my child ever again.” 


	15. Only You

**Josh**

This flight was taking longer than it really should. The argument that I had over the phone last night with Marissa had taken me by surprise. She was furious and I could practically feel her hatred on the other line. The hurt in her voice made me want to hold her telepathically somehow.

~~~

_The phone rang and I saw Marissa’s name pop up on the screen. I was eager to hear her voice after a few long days of shooting._

_“Hey, baby!” I cheerfully greeted her._

_“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me,” she snapped._

_This didn’t sound good. “Marissa, what’s wrong?”_

_“Who’s Chloe? And no, I’m not talking about the Kardashian.”_

_Where in the hell was this coming from? “Marissa, I honestly don’t know who you’re talking about.”_

_“Stop playing coy, Josh. Your friend Chloe came by Aroma the other day and bragged to her friends that she and Jarod went to visit you in San Francisco. She even said that you guys spent the night together.”_

_What the fuck?_

_“Baby, I swear to you. I haven’t seen or talked to Chloe since last January. Don’t you think Andre would’ve intervened? She’s bullshitting!” I defended._

_“Is it? Or was it all true? Because she really gave some nice details. I loved you,” she began to break down. It hurt me even more that I couldn’t leave right now._

_“Marissa, I love you. You’re the only one I want. Can’t you see that?” I asked desperately._

_“Josh, I really need time to think this through. I’ve been hurt more than enough in my life. I really don’t want to go through this again.”_

_Before I could say anything, she hung up, leaving me dumbfounded. I honestly didn’t know what the hell happened, but I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I had started to pack my stuff when Andre walked in._

_“Are you leaving for LA already?”_

_“Something happened and I need to go back.” I was in a rush and I didn’t want to take time to stop and talk._

_“Tell me what happened.”_

_I told him what Marissa had said and even he got upset. He encouraged me to go fly down, so I began to search for the earliest flight possible to LAX and called Heather to ask her to pick me up. My plans were set, but none of it would matter if Marissa wouldn’t listen to me._

_~~~_

“So what the hell happened?” Heather asked, seeing the pain reflected on my face.

“Chloe was giving out false information to her friends at Aroma and Marissa overheard her. She thinks that I cheated on her.”

Heather rolled her eyes. “Josh, I already told you to cut ties with her. Don’t you understand? You have a lot of people that you call ‘friends’ who just toss your name around.”

She was right. I haven’t had contact with Chloe since Jarod’s birthday last year. Chloe was off doing her project in New York and we just drifted apart. When we were together, there was something about the relationship that felt off- as if we weren’t going anywhere serious so I broke up with her. That was the first time I ever broke up with a girl.

“I know, I’m so pissed right now, but my mission is to find Marissa and explain things to her. I need you to drop me off at Aroma to see if she’s there. I know today is a busy day at the restaurant.”

The traffic was horrible and it almost took us an hour to get to Aroma. When Heather pulled in to the parking lot, I pushed the car door open and ran to the entrance. There were only three people in line and I recognized the person taking orders, her boss Adam.

“Hey, Josh. How are you?” he asked kindly.

“I’m great, thank you. Is Marissa here?” Hopefully she was.

“She actually called in sick today. She’s been off and not herself the last couple of days. Do you happen to know what’s wrong?”

“Yeah, I kind of do. But I can fix it. Thanks!” I shouted as I ran out the door.

“Heather, drop me off at my house. I’m going to take my bike so you don’t have to wait for me,” I said in a rush as I got back into the car.

“I really hope she hears you out,” she said.

“I really hope so too.”

~~~

Once I settled my bag in my room, I quickly jumped in the shower and got dressed, not even bothering with drying my hair. I grabbed my helmet and straddled my bike. As I made my way to Encino, I thought of the possibility that she might slam the door in my face. Would she do that? Would she answer the door at all? Only time would tell and I prayed silently that she would at least be home.

As I pulled up into her driveway, I saw that her car was the only one parked there. I peeked inside and saw Kylie’s car seat strapped inside. My palms began to feel warm and sweaty under my gloves as I approached the front door. I pulled off my helmet, listening to the silence in her neighborhood. I rang the doorbell and waited for a few seconds. The sound of footsteps grew louder as they approached the door.

The doorknob jiggled as the door opened and Marissa appeared. She had on baggy sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Her hair was wet and her slight smile faded when she landed her eyes on me. No matter what state she was in, she was beautiful to me.

Marissa tried to slam the door shut before I placed a hand in the way. “Marissa, we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Leave,” she responded. Her tone was cold and bitter, but I couldn’t blame her.

Her strength couldn’t match mine and I pushed the door open, letting myself in. She didn’t fight me, she simply backed up against the wall behind her as tears fell from her swollen eyes.

I placed my hands on either side of her on the wall. She wouldn’t look at me. Instead, she stared down to her feet.

“Baby, I need you to listen to me.”

“No, I won’t,” she insisted.

“You need to because I’m not going to leave until you listen to what I have to say.”

“I don’t want to,” she cried as she tried to push me away. I pinned my body against hers, caging her in so she would stop putting up a fight.

“Marissa, baby, please. I don’t know what you heard, but it’s not true. I haven’t seen Chloe since last year. Yes we had something once, but that was a long time ago. You’re the one I want, no one else comes close. Please baby, I swear on everything that she did not step foot in San Francisco. I’m sorry for all the pain she’s caused you.”

The silent tension was killing me. She still wasn’t looking at me, so I took her chin in my hand, lifting it so she could take a good look at me.

“I swear, Marissa nothing happened. I love you, you are mine.”

She sobbed quietly, I assumed so as not to disturb Kylie. I hadn’t heard her, so she must have been asleep.

“It sounded so real,” Marissa choked.

“It wasn’t. This moment is. Please don’t run away from it,” I said in pained tones.

Marissa looked as though her head was waging a war with her heart. She wanted to kiss me, but she hesitated. I was the first to lower my lips to hers. Two weeks without feeling them, feeling her, made me realize how much I needed her touch. Kissing Marissa after so long was like finding water after being lost in the desert. I craved her, I needed her.

Marissa didn’t fight, she needed me as much as I needed her. There were fresh tears in her eyes as her hands roamed over my thin shirt, clutching at me as if I was going to disappear. My hands caressed her body, gliding over the soft material of her pants.

“D-do you really love me?” she stammered.

“With my whole life,” I vowed.

She guided my hand to the waistband of her sweatpants. My own pants, already feeling tight from holding and kissing Marissa, started to feel tighter as she let her intentions be known. I hesitated, unsure if we were the only ones in the house.

“Is anyone…here?” I asked in a ragged voice.

“No,” she groaned.

The need I felt for her was too strong. I picked her up, knowing we weren’t going to make it any further than the living room. Marissa clung to me as I carried her out of the hallway, settling her on the couch.

“I love you so much, baby. You’re the only one for me,” I murmured, my lips attaching to her neck.

“I love you too,” she said, almost sobbing as she tilted her head to the side, letting me suck on her sweet spot.

Her whole body trembled with excitement as my lips worshiped her. Marissa arched her back and I felt her breasts against my chest, her body heat creating a fire within me. My hand ran over her covered chest, gently pinching her nipple between my fingers.

“Please, please.” Her voice sounding hoarse.

“I’m going to show you how much you mean to me, Marissa. I’m not going anywhere until you forgive me,” I promised.

My hand moved below the waistband of her pants and panties, already feeling how wet she was for me. Her hips moved along my fingers, slowly grinding against them. I hastily pulled her sweatpants and underwear down as far as I could as I began to unbutton my jeans. I was already hard as I could get and I ached to feel her touch. Once I was free, I slowly eased my cock into her- feeling her warm and wet walls welcome me.

“Ohhh!” Marissa gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand.

“Oh fuck,” I managed to breathe out. I pushed all the way in and settled my hips against hers. Marissa’s hands bunched at the hem of my shirt before falling down to my ass.

“I missed you so much,” she said in a ragged breath.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” I moved slowly, letting her feel every inch of me.

Marissa didn’t hesitate, she moved along with me as her arousal got louder with each thrust. I had to admit, it felt a bit naughty when we were half dressed. My cock was covered in her wetness and I groaned every time I caught a glimpse of myself when I pulled out, sheathed in her pleasure.

“Do you feel how hard I am for you? How I want you to feel all of me? That’s what I want you to know. You are the only one who will ever make me feel this way, Marissa,” I expressed.

Her fingers ran along my jaw and pulled my face towards hers. She kissed me with so much passion that I could feel the pain she had gone through. My hips moved at a torturous pace and I just needed one more thing to take her over the edge with me.

“Tell me that you love me, baby. I need to hear it from you,” I pleased, barely moving.

“I love you, I love you,” she chanted.

Her words were enough to make my insides burst. With a few more thrusts, we both reached our peaks, gasping and panting in response. Once I had let go inside of her, I lay still, feeling her body radiate heat to mine. I kissed Marissa deeply, trying to erase the horrible words that she’d heard. She wriggled beneath me, hinting that I should move off of her. As I gently pulled out I saw that we made a mess of the couch.

“Oh shit, the couch,” I pointed out, feeling embarrassed.

“I-it’s okay. I’ll take care of it,” Marissa responded. She got off the couch and pulled her panties back on. She picked up her sweatpants and went to the kitchen, running a part of them under cold water. I had already pulled my pants up when she reappeared and began to clean the cushion as much as she could. It was just a spot, but I suggested turning the whole cushion over.

Once she was done, I pulled her onto my lap. We were both sated and I could feel that the tension has disappeared. My hand ran along her leg, feeling her shiver with my touch.

“I’m…sorry for overreacting,” she apologized.

“Don’t, I should be the one apologizing.”

“No, I should. I don’t know why I doubted you for one minute. I guess it’s because I was on cloud nine and I didn’t think this would happen to me. Again. I’m so sorry, baby.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against me.

“I will never leave you for anyone. What you heard was all lies. She still isn’t over what we used to have but I want you, only you,” I consoled her.

We stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a while before Marissa got off my lap. The sight of her in just a shirt and panties brought me back to our first morning together, when I realized that I was completely in love with her.

“Where’s my princess?” I asked as I got up.

“She’s still sleeping. She had another rough night. The past few days, she kept asking for you but I tried to tell her that you were really busy. She had me up almost half the night crying.”

“Can I see her?”

Marissa took my hand and walked me back to her room. Kylie was sleeping in the center of the bed, blankets were wrapped around her as her stuffed panda was settled above her head. I tried to lie down slowly, careful not to disturb her. Even though I’ve been away for a few weeks, it felt like two years. She had grown a little bit, not a lot, but I could see a difference. I couldn’t wait for her to wake up.

“Do you mind watching her a bit while I go and do some laundry in the other room?” Marissa whispered as she pulled on some new sweatpants.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll just take a nap with her,” I responded. As Marissa left the room, I pulled Kylie a little closer to me. Her tiny body relaxed next to mine and I felt at peace, finally home. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and bask in that feeling.

~~~

I must have taken a long nap because I woke up to the sound of Kylie talking. Marissa was on the other side of the bed asleep too. When I finally stretched and open my eyes completely, I saw Kylie sitting in between us playing with her panda patiently. Kylie shrieked with joy when she saw that I was finally awake.

“Dada!!” she cried. Kylie threw herself on me and began to place kisses all over my face. By then, Marissa was already awake, giggling at us.

“Oh, my baby. Did you miss me?” I asked her in a playful tone. She nodded in response and decided to flop down on top of me. “Well good, because I’ll be here for a few days and I’m going to spend every hour with you.”

Marissa scooted in closer and put her arm around me. “We’re both glad you’re here,” she murmured.

“Me too, I’m glad to be home.”

And it was true- whenever I was with them, I was home. Even if I could only be with them for a little while before I had to leave again, Marissa and Kylie were all I ever needed in order to be complete.  


	16. One In a Million

It was finally the week that Josh was coming home. He’d been in San Francisco for the past three months and Kylie and I missed him dearly. We’d visit him once a month for a weekend and he would come down for a week when he could. Everything was open and calm. We moved past the Chloe situation and we were now discussing when we would begin to move in.

During his last break, we managed to move all the furniture from the guest bedroom into a storage unit and painted the room a baby pink. However, he wasn’t going to be home to help set things up so Josh asked Justin and Andre to help me with Kylie’s crib and our belongings. I told Josh that maybe we should be living in the house by the time he got back. There was very little time left before Josh wrapped things up with his movie and we wanted to be there when he finally came home.

On my day off, Justin and Andre were over helping me put the last finishing touches on Kylie’s room. Then Andre left for a meeting, leaving me and Justin to finish the room.

“Ooh, before I forget, I have to tell you something!” Justin hinted.

“What’s that?” I asked as I fixed the sheets on Kylie’s crib.

“Did you know that your boyfriend has a doppelganger?”

Well, now things just got interesting.

“You don’t say? Who is it?”

Justin hesitated and lowered his voice as if someone were about to overhear us. “Do you….watch porn?”

“Okay, this is getting uncomfortable,” I responded as I walked over to the dresser and began to fold Kylie’s clothes.

“No, I’m serious! Because there’s a porn star that looks almost like Josh…” he trailed off.

I placed the shirts that I had folded into the drawer before facing him. “Really? What’s his name?”

Justin pulled out his phone and began to search for this adult star. When he finally found a picture, he gave me his phone and I was met with a guy who could pass for Josh’s relative.

“His name is Tyler Nixon. Once I saw him, I knew I had to tell you!”

I studied this Tyler, noticing how everything above his nose looked creepily like Josh. My cheeks began to burn as I gave Justin back his phone.

“That’s a very interesting discovery that you made, Justin. But….I’m already getting some from the real thing, I don’t need a look-alike porn star,” I bluntly stated.

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to get some ideas from the videos that he’s done. Maybe a little role playing?” he teased.

I gawked at his comment and whipped him with a pair of Kylie’s pants. “My sex life is great, okay?” I laughed.

“Whatever you say, Maris. It doesn’t hurt to try.”

~~~

That night, I tucked Kylie in her new room. She wasn’t fussy and I took that as a good sign. I kissed her goodnight and decided to turn off the lights in the house, heading into the bedroom with my laptop. After what Justin told me about Tyler, I really was curious to see him in action. It had been a while since Josh had taken care of me and besides, my curiosity was killing me.

I dimmed the lights and began to look at websites with possible videos of Tyler. First, I watched one where he got busy with his friend’s mom and I couldn’t deny it - he was pretty damn good with his oral fixation. Then I watched a second one where his girlfriend wanted to lure him into bed, but he brushed her off because he was working on a project. Then in the end, he makes it up to her with amazing, hot sex. My cheeks burned when I remembered how Josh was like that when we got into our first fight.

I was in the middle of that video when I heard the front door open. I place the laptop on Josh’s side and grabbed my phone, ready to run in to Kylie’s room. When I opened the door, I nearly had the living shit scared out of me, only to see Josh in the doorway.

“Shit! You scared me!” I panted as I placed my hand over my beating heart.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve called you. We finished earlier than expected and I wanted to surprise you and Kylie by coming home earlier,” Josh told me as he wrapped his arms around me. The heat of his body felt so good, but got me even more flustered.

Josh cradled my cheek and kissed me sweetly. The hint of his cologne still lingered in the air and after what I had been watching; my senses were even more heightened.

“Babe, why are your cheeks so warm? Are you feeling okay?” he asked as he touched my forehead.

“Y-yeah…why do you ask?” I stuttered.

“Why are you so nervous?” By this time he was already making his way into the room to take off his jacket. I then realized that I left my laptop open and the video of Tyler in the middle of fucking his girl was on pause. Josh placed his backpack in the corner and began to sit down on the bed to take off his shoes.

There was no point in even trying to close the laptop by now. I watched as Josh saw the laptop screen out of the corner of his eye before he turned to look completely at what I was watching.

“Josh, I can explain,” I began, fiddling with my fingers.

“Well, I see that you needed some alone time,” he teased as he placed the laptop on his lap. I was glad he wasn’t upset. I guess now that he was here, I could get what I really wanted.

“Justin told me that there was this adult star that looked exactly like you…” I trailed off. “I was pretty curious, so I decided to see what the fuss was about.”

“Ha! That guy really does look like me. Except, I don’t have the long hair anymore,” Josh laughed.

“I know,” I laughed along.

Josh got up from the bed and began to take off his shirt. “Besides, I think I can make you come harder than that guy ever could. But first, I’m going to take a shower. I smell like an airport.”

I stepped in front of him so he wouldn’t be able to take another step towards the bathroom. The impending hunger and heat that I was feeling earlier has become stronger once I laid eyes on Josh. His muscles were hard and his strong hands on my waist sent goose bumps all around.

“Why take a shower now when you’re just going to get dirty?” I huskily asked.

Josh’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. His breathing increased as his hand went to my cheek.

“What is it that you had in mind?” he wondered as his eyes darkened.  The slip of his tongue across his lips was the final straw that made the flame burn even more.

I went to the other side of the room and placed the chair that he had in here, right at the foot of the bed. I then grabbed Josh’s hand and ordered him to sit down. My spine tingled as I walked over the dresser and rummaged through my clothes, finally finding what I needed.

“Do you want to know how I would get myself off when you weren’t here, baby?” Josh’s eyes darkened further, nearly turning black. His hands clutched the side of the chair as he tried to steady his breathing.

“I do want to know…do you care to show me?”

With those last words, I pulled out my surprise- a purple colored vibrator. Josh was bewildered when he laid eyes on it. I crawled on the bed, close enough that Josh could see me.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Is that yours?”

I nodded, biting my lip. “Yep, I never had one and I was curious what it would feel like. Let’s just say that it can get the job done, but it feels a lot better when you’re here fulfilling my needs. Want to help me?”

Josh squirmed, he was eager to touch me but I couldn’t let him just yet.

“Just take off my panties and let me show you,” I spoke up.

His nimble fingers pulled on the elastic, slowly pulling them down my legs. Once they were completely off, Josh held them in one hand as he ran his other over his crotch.

“Well, go ahead and show me what you can do,” he whispered darkly.

I propped myself on one elbow as I ran the vibrator in between my folds. Once I turned it on, I ran it over my clit, jumping at the sensation that it gave me. My eyes fluttered shut and when I opened them slightly, Josh was already unbuttoning his pants and stroking himself. The sight of him pleasuring himself while he watched me was a feeling that ignited my lust for him. Every time I pushed the vibrator in me, my arousal glistened on every curve of it. There was something about giving him this show that made me feel vulnerable, but I didn’t care.

A minute went by and Josh placed his hand over mine as he pulled the vibrator away from me. He slowly pulled it out and I could feel myself gripping the toy. I was frustrated and disappointed, I needed to come. But I wasn’t disappointed for long, as Josh replaced the vibrator with his fingers. He curved them slightly, immediately finding that spot that made me scream.

“Oh fuck, right there!” I yelped.

“You like that? God you’re soaking wet,” Josh growled as he pressed his thumb against my clit.

It was so hard trying to contain the noises that I was making. Josh was taking me higher than ever before. The wave was far too strong for me and I felt myself gush all over him.

“That’s it, Maris. Come all over me,” he instructed.

“Oh shit!” I screamed. The inside of my thighs were wet and I could feel that the comforter below me was too.

We were both breathing hard and I felt like I had no control over my limbs. I opened my eyes to find Josh in between my legs, running his tongue over my folds and tasting me. Although I was sensitive, I was too limp to move anything. It amazed me how much Josh wanted me like this, nothing felt better than being wanted.

Josh made his way up to my lips, sealing them with a kiss. His lips glistened from my arousal and I could taste myself on him. He chuckled when he pulled away so he could settle on his side. I felt my face flushing from what we had just done.

“You know, I never thought I could make a girl squirt, but it was definitely something I loved seeing you do,” he informed me.

“I never thought I could either. That was the first time ever. Sorry I messed up your comforter,” I apologized.

“Uh-uh.  _Our_ comforter. Don’t worry about it, it’s washable.”

I smiled because he was constantly reminding me how much he wanted everything to be ours. It felt like my old dreams were finally coming true. Now I had someone to share my life with. Josh was about to get off the bed when I caught him by the hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I haven’t repaid the favor.”

Josh then sat back down and began to crawl upwards toward the pillows. He was already free and his cock was trembling for my touch. My hands began to push away his jeans and wrapped around the base of his cock. I pumped a few times before I swirled the tip with my tongue.

“Fuck!” he yelped. His hands threaded through my hair, pacing me. I took my time because I didn’t want to rush it. He was home now and I wanted to relieve him of any stress that he had bubbling up.

I took him in as much as I could, earning the sounds of satisfaction that poured from his lips. He slowly bucked his hips towards me, allowing me to take him in as much as I could. My eyes watered, but I didn’t care. I bobbed my head a few times, running my tongue on the underside of his shaft. The head of his cock glistened with signs of his arousal and I used it to my advantage.

I wrapped my hand around his shaft, my head bobbing up and down the length that I could take in. With a few more thrusts of his hips, he gently pulled away from me and began to pump himself.

“Fuck, let me come on your tits,” he demanded.

I hovered over him and felt him his orgasm spurt across my chest as he found his release. I sat up on his hips and pushed my hair back so Josh could see what I was about to do next. When he opened his eyes, I let my hands gently rub across my breasts, my slick fingers stroking my nipples, coating them with his cum. Josh’s eyes widened at my actions and I felt his hands slip from my hips to find my clit. He used his thumb, rubbing me at a tormenting pace.

“God you’re such a naughty girl. I’m so glad you’re mine,” he whimpered

I knew that I couldn’t handle any more stimulation so I leaned over and kissed him. His hands began to knead my behind and run up my back. I moved, settling myself next to him on a pillow. Josh pulled me to his side and my fingers began to trace his anchor tattoo. It was almost relaxing what we were doing. We weren’t touching each other in a sexual way, we just let our hands explore each other’s bodies with light, comforting touches. He loved it when I traced his anchor and I loved it when he ran his fingers up and down my spine and played with my hair.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” I grinned as I placed a kiss above his nipple.

“I’m glad too. I like coming home to my two special girls. I always want to feel welcomed from you two.” He paused, then laughed, “Can you imagine Kylie walking in on us now?”

“Oh god, I hope that never happens. But let’s take note that when she gets her big girl bed that we need to be careful. We can’t have her crawling up the bed with us while we’re in our birthday suits!”

“I think we’d need to have those baby monitors working. We wouldn’t want her to wonder why mommy is sitting on daddy’s face.”

“Josh!” I scolded.

“I’m just teasing you, babe. But you’re right. We can have as much fun as we want now because once she has her big girl bed, we’d need to make sure she’s completely asleep,” he reasoned.

“I love you. You’re so funny, smart and sexy. I mean, what did I do to deserve you?” I marveled. “Your love is one in a million.”

“You had faith, trust and pixie dust!” Josh chuckled. “You’ve been good, Marissa. You deserve the best. You and Kylie deserve more than the best. I’m the lucky one. I love you so much, it hurts,” he expressed.

I lifted my head up and gave him a kiss. The kiss soon grew heated as Josh lifted my leg over his hip. Our bodies were meshed together, sticky and warm, but it felt perfect. Josh began to grind against me and I knew that he needed me. He would always need me.

“Are you ready for the second round?” he chuckled as he pulled away from my lips.

“I’m ready when you are.”  


	17. A Mother's Love

**Josh**

I could hear Kylie’s tiny whimpers coming from the room across the hall. I looked over to see that Marissa hadn’t budged, but that was good because today was Mother’s Day. We were going to make this day a relaxing one. She had the whole day off so we could spend the day together and maybe visit her grandmother.I gently pulled the covers off me and tip toed across the room. I closed the door and walked into Kylie’s room. She was already standing up in her crib, her lower lip protruding and eyes shimmering like she was about to cry. Her hair was a mess and was dressed in her owl pajamas. Once she saw me, she immediately reached for me.

“Good morning, baby. Are you ready to surprise mommy?” I asked as I picked her up. Her tiny fingers began to play with the top of my shirt and it tickled when she did that.

“Okay, first things first, we have to start breakfast. We need to be really quiet okay?” Her response was to wrap her arms around me tighter. I settled her in her high chair and dragged it across the kitchen.

Kylie was patient, watching me and trying to figure out what I was doing. I talked to her as I began making the pancake batter.

“You know, baby, I really hope mommy likes the surprise that we have for her. I think she’s going to love it so much!”

“Yay!” Kylie exclaimed.

“Shhh, we have to be quiet and let mommy sleep in,” I explained to her. She held a finger up to her lips like she was trying to shush me.

Once I had the stove on, I pulled out the heart stencil that I had bought the other day from the drawer. I had to test out to see if I could still make them because it had been a while. I used to cook every once in a while, but now it seemed like Marissa did it all the time. The first pancake was ready and I placed it in front of Kylie, cutting them into tiny pieces and feeding them to her. She wanted to shove the rest of the tiny pieces in her mouth and I had to stop her from doing it all at once.

“One at a time, baby. Do you think mommy will like this?” I asked her.

She savored the flavor of the pancake and I knew that she approved of it. She even fed me a piece like she always did when all three of us ate together. Once I was given the green light, I lifted Kylie out of her high chair and placed her on the counter. I gave her a few chocolate chips so she could place them in the rest of the batter. She clapped when I praised her work, even when the majority of them missed the bowl. Then, I let her hold the spatula and helped her with the mixing. Once they were mixed, I placed her on her feet so I could make the pancakes. She walked around the kitchen, patiently waiting for me. Then she decided to go to her toy bin and play with her dolls. She checked on me every once in a while, clutching her stuffed Olaf pillow.

I made enough pancakes for Marissa and me and moved on to the bacon. Soon a delicious aroma filled the house. Then it was time to cut the fruit for the fruit salad. Kylie begged for pieces of everything I was cutting, but I wasn’t so sure if she could I wanted everything to look colorful and bright for Marissa.

Before I went into Kylie’s room, I checked on Marissa to find her still asleep. I pulled out the gift that I had hidden in Kylie’s closet, making sure that the wrapping was still pristine. Then I pulled out the card that I helped Kylie make. Thinking back to the mess we had caused making it made me chuckle, but then I remembered how that day almost turned sour thanks to someone at the store.

~~~

_The idea of having Kylie making a mother’s day card for Marissa popped in my head when I woke up that morning. Once she left for work, Kylie and I went to Target to get the supplies. It felt weird the way the other shoppers laid their eyes on me, as if I was armed or something. Kylie sat in the cart as we went to the craft section. Two fans stopped me and asked for a picture, which didn’t bug me at all. We then walked to the crafts section and were the only ones in the aisle when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I didn’t have enough time to register who it was until their arms wrapped around me._

_“Josh! It’s so good to see you! How have you been?” It was Chloe._

_“I’m fine, thanks,” I bluntly replied. After the lies that she had been spreading, I didn’t want anything to do with her._

_“Are you okay? You seem so tense.” She rubbed my shoulders, but I flinched at her touch._

_The blood in my veins began to bubble. “Actually, no I’m not okay. I heard that you’ve been talking nonsense about me to your friends,” I began._

_“What are you talking about? I haven’t said anything!” she fired back defensively._

_“Oh really, that’s not what I heard. You were telling your friends that you came to visit me in San Francisco, and that you slept with me. You know that that shit is not true, Chloe. We’ve been through for over two years now. Why would you say those things?”_

_She was baffled, left without words._

_“How did you-,”_

_I cut her off. “My girlfriend was your server and overheard you. She called me furious and I was this close to losing her. You broke up with me, remember? You wanted me to be happy. I found my happiness and you should go off and find your own.”_

_She peeked over my shoulder and looked at Kylie, who was wide eyed and looking between Chloe and I. She didn’t know why I was getting upset._

_“So you found happiness with someone who already has a kid? Is she going to pin you down with that responsibility now?” Her tone was icy and cruel._

_I could feel my face getting hot. People can say a lot and not offend me, but it was crossing a line to bring Kylie into it._

_“She’s mine, okay? I knew what I was getting into and I know her mother would never do such a thing. We’re in this together and I don’t need people like you trying to spoil things.”_

_Chloe was growing red in the face. I could tell she wanted to say more, but Kylie already began to whimper as she saw me get even more heated. She pulled on my arm, trying to hold me back._

_“Dada,” she whimpered roughly._

_“It’s best if you leave now, Chloe. And please, don’t come looking for me again.”_

_I could practically hear her screaming internally and could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears._

_“Fuck you.”_

_She turned and stomped her way out of the aisle. I hunched over to hug Kylie as she cried softly._

_“Shh it’s okay, princess. That mean girl isn’t going to hurt or bother you and mommy ever again.” I placed kisses on her cheeks and forehead until she calmed down._

_Now we were on a mission to find finger paint and construction paper for her mommy’s card. By the time we left the store, Kylie’s excitement helped me nearly forget that I’d ever had a rage-fueled confrontation with Chloe._

_~~~_

Lastly, I walked out to the porch to find the roses that I had hidden. Everything was going according to plan, and I couldn’t wait for Marissa to wake up. I handed the roses to Kylie and had her practice what she should tell her Mama when she woke up.

It was now time to surprise Marissa. I picked up the tray with the gift on top and had Kylie follow me into the bedroom. By the time I opened the door, Marissa was stretching on the bed and picked up her head to find me and Kylie at the foot of the bed.

“Well good morning to both of you! This is such a lovely surprise!”

I placed the tray beside her and leaned over her to give her a kiss. “Happy Mother’s Day, baby.”

“Thank you,” she replied with a smile.

“Mama!” Kylie called out as she tried to hand her the roses from the side of her bed.

Marissa took the roses from her and picked her up to hug her. “Thank you so much, angel. I love you.”

“Hey Ky, can you say ‘Happy Mother’s Day’?” I asked. We both chuckled at her attempt, which sounded more like one word than three.

“They are so beautiful. Thank you,” she said as she sniffed the roses.

“Well, I can’t say they are next to you. You’re the definition of beautiful,” I complimented her.

She chuckled and placed the roses on the bedside table. Then I handed her the gift that I tried my best to wrap. Marissa looked from me to the package, raising her eyebrows.

“Josh, you really didn’t have to get me anything,” she began.

“Marissa, I know you hate it when I buy you things, but I really think you’ll like it. I hope you like the card as well, I helped Kylie make it.”

“Oh, we’ll let’s see it then!”

Marissa opened the card and gasped at the picture before her. There was a big red heart that was messily made along with simple flowers. I tried to help the Kylie the best I could with the writing, but I decided to just write it myself since she was too busy and intrigued by the finger paint and what it did on blank pieces of paper.

“To the best mommy in the world. May you enjoy your day with your family. Love Kylie and Josh,” she read.

“That is so sweet of you guys. Thank you,” she said gratefully as she gave Kylie and me a kiss.

Now it was time to open her gift. She began to unwrap the box and had Kylie help her with it. Now the wrapping paper was thrown to the side as she opened the package. Inside was a picture frame of the three of us at the beach, taken the previous weekend. Andre had taken the picture for us and I immediately loved the way it turned out. The picture frame was in shape of a flip-flop with an anchor accent at the strap.  

“Do you love it?” I asked.

Marissa turned to me, her eyes swimming with tears. “I love it, thank you.”

She wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear, “Thank you for making my family complete.”

“Thank you for coming into my life,” I whispered softly.

“I love you both so much!” she said joyfully.

“We love you too. Now I think it’s time to enjoy your breakfast or Kylie is going to start on it.” We both looked over to her and found her about to pick up a pancake.

“Nope, princess. That’s mommy’s breakfast,” I reminded her as I swept her in my arms. She giggled as I tickled her without mercy.

“Go ahead, I promise it’s not that bad,” I told Marissa.

I went back the kitchen and returned to the bedroom with the plate that I had made for myself. We both fed Kylie pieces of our pancakes as we ate on the bed. The morning was amazing, full of happiness and laughter as Marissa told me stories of when Kylie was a newborn and all the funny moments that occurred until the day we became this family.

~~~

Around 12, we went to visit Marissa’s grandparents. We stayed and had lunch with them because they made Marissa’s favorite- chicken Caesar wraps.

After we had eaten, Marissa went off to change Kylie and help her grandmother in the kitchen.

“She looks really happy, Josh. I want to thank you for bringing that smile back into her face,” her grandfather spoke up as we watched them.

“It’s no problem, Mr. Avery. She deserves to be happy.”

He set his drink on the table and lowered his voice. “I thought she was never going to smile again. The night that she stumbled up to our doorstep, it really scared me. She was hysterical, bruised and cut up. I wanted to erase everything that she went through and wipe the tears off her face. She looked so much like her mother when she was that age and it hurt me to the core when she cried.”

“I know she hasn’t told me much about her parents, but I don’t want to push her,” I muttered.

“She’ll tell you when the time is right. In the meantime, keep her and Kylie happy. It’s all they want.”

“Will do, sir,” I promised.

~~~

We bid Marissa’s grandparents a farewell and then headed off to Malibu and had dinner at the same place where Marissa and I had our first date. We had a delicious dinner and we had time to walk on the beach.

Kylie was enamored with the feeling of the sand between her toes. She squished her toes and began to lift her feet and kick the sand before her. I picked her up because there were sharp sticks and a few rocks before we reached the soft sand.

“Remember, Ky. No eating the sand, okay?” I reminded her.

“Okay.”

Marissa held one of her hands while I held the other. Together, we walked to the shore, eager to get our feet wet. When the wave came crashing into shore, we would lift Kylie’s into the air, so the water wouldn’t touch her legs. She giggled when her feet encountered the water and kicked her feet around so she could splash. We both took turns playing with Kylie, splashing around in the water and throwing her up in the air and catching her.

We began to walk along the sand, Kylie in one arm as I draped the other around Marissa. The sun was setting and the view was amazing.

“This is probably the best Mother’s Day ever,” Marissa spoke up. “Nothing means more to me than spending time with the people that I love.”

I smiled knowing that I had helped to bring a smile upon her face that was brighter than the sunset.

“I’m glad you liked it. I know you don’t like to be the center of attention. But you deserve it. You’re probably the best mom that I have met,” I expressed.

“Don’t let your mom hear that!” she teased.

“It’s the truth!” I said honestly. “You really are. I have never met someone who has beaten the odds like you. You’re so positive and you make Kylie your number one priority. I respect that.”

I dreaded hiding things from her, so I had to go ahead and tell her what happened the other day.

“I ran into Chloe the other day. She didn’t take what I had to say so lightly.”

She lifted her head off my shoulder and her face lined with worry. Before she could say anything, I continued. “She won’t be bothering you anymore.”

“I hope not and that goes for anyone from your past and mine.”

And that’s all I could hope for, to not have anyone ruin this happiness we’d found together.


	18. Deep Pillow Talk

**Josh**

It was twelve noon when I came back from playing basketball with my friends. The June heat definitely made me sweaty and my tank top drenched front and back. After a few hours, I just wanted to get back home to get clean and snuggle against my girlfriend. I hoped Marissa was ready so I could shower quickly and head on over later to her grandparent’s house. Kylie spent the night with them because they were going to take her to the zoo and they offered to keep her for the rest of the day. We had the whole day to ourselves, but something was off about Marissa. She wasn’t as playful as she used to be and a certain sadness was in her eyes.

When I stepped into the house, everything was cool, still and quiet. I was getting a little worried that Marissa wasn’t feeling okay. Making my way to the bedroom, I found her still in bed. She was hugging a pillow while the blankets were wrapped around her. She picked up her head a little to give me a small smile and plopped her head back on the pillow. Something was wrong, and I was determined to find out why she was like this.

“Hey, baby,” I murmured from the bed side. I could see clearly that she’d been crying.

“Hi,” she said, her voice raspy.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?” I asked as I brushed her hair off to the side.

“I’m fine.” Her response was too quick and she was avoiding any kind of eye contact with me.

“Marissa, I know you’ve been crying. Please, baby, tell me what’s wrong,” I pleaded. She didn’t respond, but I was still going to get it out of her. I stripped myself from my sweaty tank top and lay down next to her.

“Tell me what’s wrong. I hate to see you like this. Please let me in.”

She was silent for a minute before she finally spoke.

“It’s been seven years today.”

Oh no. It had been seven years since her mom passed away. I really didn’t know how it happened and I never brought it up because I didn’t want Marissa to feel any worse.

“Josh…,” she groaned.

“I want to know, baby. Please don’t hide. Can you tell me what happened?”

She sighed and closed her eyes as she began to talk. “My mom was coming back from a party. She was driving and someone swerved into her lane. The other driver was drunk and ran into her headfirst. She died from the impact.”

I didn’t know what to think, no words of comfort could possibly dull the ache that she was feeling. All I could do was pull her to my chest. Marissa began to sob and her fresh tears hit my skin. I felt so hopeless and I didn’t know what to do.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You can cry all you want. I’m not going anywhere,” I soothed her.

“I miss her so much, Josh. There are times when I wished it was me instead of her,” she cried.

“No, don’t think like that. It would’ve caused her so much pain if it were you. Please don’t think that way.” My hand was rubbing up and down her back trying to calm her down.

“You don’t understand!” she cried as she pushed me away and sat up suddenly. “I was supposed to go with her to that party but I told her I didn’t want to go. I need her, Josh. I need my mom.”

I have never seen this side of Marissa before. All I could do was pull her in for a hug and let her cry it out. It pained me to see her like this, she didn’t deserve to feel the guilt of her mother’s accident. I placed us both on the bed and she cried for a few minutes before she quieted down. Marissa rolled over on to her back and entwined our fingers together.

I cleared my throat to clear the tension.

“I don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent, but your pain is my pain. I don’t want you to feel guilty about what happened. She’s watching over you and Kylie and if she were here, she would be proud of what you’ve accomplished. You’re not alone, okay? I’m here to hear you out and I promise that you can trust me, just like how I promised you on our first date.”

Marissa lifts her eyes to mine and I could see her relax a little. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face on my chest. Her once trembling body was now at ease and it made me feel like she let me in on something that was very private and personal to her.

“I love you, I wouldn’t know what would happen if you hadn’t walked into my life. Thank you,” she murmured and placed a kiss on my neck.

“I love you. Thank you for telling me what happened.”

She smiled and sniffled. Her eyes were shimmering, but she was still beautiful. I leaned down and let my lips hover over hers before she pulled me down. The kiss was slow, quickly growing more intense with each ticking second. Marissa’s hands began to wander down to the waistband of my basketball shorts, tugging them down as far as she could. I helped kick them off me and returned to her sweet mouth. My fingers slowly entwined with hers as my lips began to trace along her neck.

Her sweet moans filled my ears as she began to move her hips to meet with mine. I could already feel her damp panties along my cock and with just the slightest tug, they were off as well. My hands inched up her tank top and discarded it along with her panties on the floor.

Her hands were trembling for my touch as she traced her fingers along my abs. The sight of her naked in front of me was something that I would never get tired of. Even her slight imperfections were perfect to me.  

“Josh,” she panted.

“I’m here, baby. I’m right here.”

With a swift move, we were connected in such a beautiful way. I leaned over to kiss her while we both moved rhythmically together, my hands gliding all over her and caressing her just the way she liked it. I wanted to make her feel beyond better. Even though this day began as a difficult one, I was determined to make the pain turn into a dull ache.   

Marissa’s walls clenched me every time I moved, she felt so damn amazing every single time. A few minutes went by and she gently pushed me off of her.

“Want to ride me, baby?” I asked huskily.

“Mmhmm.”

She got into position and held my cock up so her heat could envelop me once more. The moans that she produced were erotic and my hands immediately fell to her sides. She steadied herself, balancing as she placed her hands on my chest and slowly raised her hips. Nothing felt rushed and my hands slowly skimmed her skin. Each touch created goose bumps and Marissa shivered with anticipation. The sight of my cock entering her got me harder than I thought possible.

Here was a girl who had captivated me from the very start. I had always thought that I was in love with whomever I was with at the time, but Marissa was different. There was something about her that drew me to her. I was in so deep and I really didn’t care. She was mine and I was hers and that’s how I wanted it to be. I didn’t care who came before me, but I knew that I was going to be the last person she will end up with. Her soul was gentle, her attitude was playful but most of all, she was loving and caring. Every day that I’ve spent with her, I saw how she always put Kylie first over everything. She’s been through so much, but it made her become the strong person that she is today.

The sound of our skin meeting drove me crazy. I took my time to fondle her breasts, to play with her clit and knead her behind. I could feel the crash approaching and Marissa felt it too, that’s when she began to speed up a bit. Her hair fell around us, fanning out to create a curtain, so we had no choice but to look each other in the eyes.

“Oh yes, right there baby. Come for me,” I whimpered.

She yelped a few times and when she finally reached her high, I could see the look of pure bliss reflecting on her face. The movement of her hips slowed a bit and that’s when I pounded into her a few times and spurted inside her. The sound of our orgasm made me want to go again, but I know that Marissa needed a little break to continue. She lifted herself off of me and I could see her arousal glistening on my thighs and cock. I didn’t go completely soft, but I didn’t want to rush Marissa.

“Fuck, it just got a little hot in here. You really know how to work me up,” I breathed.

“Well now you know what effect you have on me,” she teased.

“I’m glad that I can get you off. Everything is just so damn amazing with you,” I smirked as I gave her a kiss. We were both laying on our sides, letting our breathing get back to normal.

“Are you feeling a little better?” I wondered.

“I’m okay, but there’s just something missing…,” she trailed off. “I miss Kylie.”

I giggled when I heard her name. “I miss her too. It seems like she’s been gone for a long time.”

“I know she’s safe at my grandparents’ house, but I miss her. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when she gets older and has sleepovers with her friends. I’m so attached to her and once she starts getting a little independent, it’s going to be hard for me,” she frowned.

“You have a long way to go for that, Marissa. I don’t think she’ll easily leave your side. She loves you so much, that she’ll probably have sleepovers with you in the living room.”

“That would be cute. I remember my mom did that for me once when I was little. I wasn’t invited to this sleepover and I thought it was the end of the world. My mom threw me a little surprise and she set up a tent in our backyard. We did everything that you’d normally do at a sleepover, but it was special with her,” she reminisced.

“Would you mind if I joined you two?”

“If you’d like, but then again…we could make a fort and have our own little fun in there,” she murmured huskily as she kissed my jaw.

I closed my eyes, trying not to let the blood flow to my cock. We were running a little late and I missed Kylie as well.

“How about we go and pick up our girl right now? I want to cuddle with her and give her loads of kisses,” I mumbled into her hair.

“I think you need to shower first,” she giggled.

“Well then let’s get clean.”

I dragged us into the shower and set the water to the most comfortable temperature. We let the water cascade down our bodies. Marissa closed her eyes as she let the water soak her hair, rubbing her hands over her neck and shoulders as if she was trying to ease some tension. She looked perplexed and it was obvious that she was thinking about something.

I began to rub my fingers over her shoulders, trying to ease the knots that she had forming. Her head lolled to the side and groaned every occasionally. Of course, the sounds that she made didn’t help at all.

“What would’ve happened if we never met?” she spoke up after a while.

“Well, we wouldn’t be this happy- I know I wouldn’t.”

Marissa turned around, fresh tears spring to her eyes. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight against her. I was taken aback by her words; all I could do was wrap my arms around her as well.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Tell me,” I begged as I stroked her hair.

“I just…I keep thinking that this is all a dream. Like, I’m going to wake up soon because I feel like this is something that I always wanted, but can never really have. You make me so happy and you consider Kylie as yours, but there are times when I think it’s all too much for you to handle and you’ll leave,” she bawled.

“Princess, I don’t know what made you ever think that. I know what my heart wants and it wants you. I don’t care if you come with baggage because I’ll be there for you. I don’t care if Kylie isn’t mine. I accepted both of you and I can’t see my life without you guys, I really can’t. I’m a man and I’ll be Kylie’s father because I know Omar or any other asshole will have second thoughts. I don’t want you to doubt me. I’ll always be by your side.”

My words seemed to calm her a bit, but I could still feel her sniffle. This was such an emotional day for us, but we needed to find our comfort- which was Kylie.

“Come on, the baby is probably wondering where we are. Let’s get you cleaned up,” I stated.

I grabbed Marissa’s shampoo and handed it to her while I began to squirt some of my own on my palm. We both shampooed our own hair, but we helped wash each other off with the loofah and soap. One thing led to another and Marissa pinned me up a glass wall as she lowered herself and took me in like a champ. The sight of her sucking me off and touching herself made me scream out her name in the enclosed, foggy shower. When she was done, I greedily took her fingers to my mouth and sucked every one of them.

We both managed to get out of the shower, but getting dressed was a bit difficult. There was a barrage of clothes thrown at each other as we exchanged playful caresses. By around 2:30, we were out the door and on our way to pick up Kylie.

Once Kylie laid eyes on us, she immediately clung to Marissa’s leg.

“Mama!” she shrieked.

“Hi, baby girl! Were you good for Mama and Papa bear?”

“Yes!” she replied. “Dada!”

She lunged to me as I placed kisses all over her face. In between her giggles, I saw Marissa slipping into the kitchen to give her grandmother a hug. I could hear them crying a bit, so I decided to leave them alone. I walked into the living room with Kylie where her grandfather sat watching a rerun of House.

“Hello, sir.”

“Hey, Josh. How are ya?”

We talked very little, but I noticed how he too was sad.

“Sir, I’m so sorry about your daughter. Marissa told me everything and I am so sorry for your loss.”

A moment of silence followed. It was an awkward one too because I didn’t know if I crossed any boundaries.

“Thank you, Josh. It’s been seven years, but it seemed like only yesterday. I never thought I would live to experience the loss of a child. Every year, Marissa shuts herself from everyone around this time. She usually stops eating for a few days and will keep to herself. I’m glad she told you about it because I know it helps talking about it. Just keep your promise to me about keeping her happy. You’re doing an excellent job.”

I felt like I was going down the right path. Her family saw me as some kind of answered prayer for Marissa and I was glad to make her open up a bit more, even if it was one tiny step for them to see a difference. 


	19. Talk That Talk

“Wake up, baby. We’re almost there,” Josh murmured against my forehead. I squinted and looked down at Kylie who was knocked out in his arms. We were all headed to Kentucky to celebrate the Fourth of July and attend a wedding of a very close friend of Josh’s family.

I lifted my head and I felt like the whole plane was spinning. The headache that began during the middle of the flight hadn’t gone away and I couldn’t get to my bag to take anything for it. Migraines were not my best friend and every time I got one, I felt sick all over. The lights were bothering me and all I wanted to do was to sleep in a very dark room. Josh noticed right away that I didn’t look like I was okay.

“Marissa, what’s wrong? You look pale,” he asked with concern.

“I have a migraine. I need to take something,” I mumbled.

“Did you bring anything for the pain?”

“I think I have something in my bag, but it’s okay. We’re almost there and I don’t want to interrupt Kylie.”

After fifteen minutes, we finally landed in Cincinnati. Although we were one of the first ones to get off the plane, it felt like everything around me was moving at such a slow pace. When we went to claim our bags, the belt took forever to start turning. Josh handed me a sleepy Kylie as he spotted our bags. Michelle and Connor picked us up and they were happy to see us.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Michelle asked.

“I just have a migraine,” I stated after she hugged me.

“I have just the thing at the house that works miracles. You can take one and rest,” she said. It was heartwarming how motherly she acted towards me.

The half hour trip to Union was a painful one. I hated when my migraines ruined my whole day, especially now that we were visiting Josh’s family. Once we stepped in the house, Josh and I went downstairs while his mom ran upstairs to get me something. I placed Kylie on the bed before Josh handed me a water bottle from his back pack. When Michelle came down stairs, she handed me a pill.

“Take this, it works for me when I get headaches. Do you guys want to eat anything?”

“Thanks mom, but I think we’ll just take a nap. We had an early flight to avoid traffic and people so can we rest for a bit?” Josh asked.

“No problem, let me know what you guys would like for dinner later. I have to run to the store with Connor and pick up a few things for the party,” she smiled.

She retreated and Josh faced me, getting down on his knees to look at me. Even lifting my head took too much effort. My stomach turned and I felt like running into the bathroom.

“Oh baby, I’ve never seen you this sick. How long do they last?”

“Almost the whole day. I hope what your mom gave me can make it go away soon,” I slurred. “I feel kind of nauseous.”

There was a tense silence and I could see that Josh thought something was wrong.

“Are you…pregnant?”

Those words alone made me pick up my head to look at him clearly.

“No, no I’m not. I just feel like this every time I get one. Can I sleep it off? I mumbled.

The look on Josh’s softened as he removed my shoes. I climbed further up the bed beside Kylie as Josh too his place on the other side of her. The last thing I remembered before closing my eyes was Josh bringing Kylie close to his chest and so he could drift off to sleep as well.

~~~

**Josh**

The next day, everyone was getting ready for the party. Marissa woke up refreshed and eager to start the day. Her migraine had gone away after her nap, but she still ached all over. Kylie was immediately drawn to Connor and he entertained her all this morning so we could finish up any last minute things.

Our Fourth of July party was hit, just like last year. Everyone was dressed in patriotic colors and having a great time. I bought even more fireworks than last year to light up for Kylie and she was in awe when they lit up in the night sky. The party didn’t last that long, we couldn’t carry the celebration into the night since we had to be at my friend’s wedding the next day.

The following morning, all of us were bustling around the house. We were in our suits and dresses and when I saw Marissa and Kylie coming up from the stairs, it felt like all the air was sucked out of me. Kylie was wearing a bright pink dress that flared at the bottom, with her hair tied back, and her slightly rosy cheeks made her look like a doll. When she saw me, she immediately ran as fast as she could to me.

“Wow, you look so beautiful, Kylie! Just like a princess!” I complimented her.

”I struggled a bit with her hair, but I think she looks pretty,” Marissa chimed in.

My eyes landed on her and I honestly couldn’t form any words. She had on a sleek, navy blue dress that hit right above her knees. The color complimented her hair and eyes. Her hair was down, sleek, and it hung past her shoulders- almost to the middle of her back. She embodied the image of a goddess.

“Whoa,” I mumbled.

Marissa looked around, her cheeks flushing as if she had done something.

“What? Is it too much?” she worried.

“No, sweetheart. You look absolutely stunning,” my mom spoke up.

“Marissa, you’re so….beautiful doesn’t even describe how you look. You’re breath taking,” I managed to stumble out.

She smiled and looked down at her feet.

“Well, it seems like Josh has a date,” Connor butted in as he tickled Kylie. “May I have the honor of escorting you to the wedding?” He stuck out his arm for her with a cheesy smile on. We all laughed, but I pointed a finger at him.

“Just remember, she’s coming home with me,” I teased.

“Let’s go! Andre’s saving our seats!” my mom said as she took Kylie out of my arms.

We all started making our way towards the car when Marissa held me back and whispered in my ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

I stopped in my tracks and eyed her bottom half.

“Y-you’re not?”

She shook her head and cocked her eyebrow.  “And if you’re good, I might just reward you tonight.”

I gulped. I was ready for whatever she had up her sleeve. Of course, I didn’t know how long I would be able to contain myself because the sight of her either above or below me was something I desperately wanted.

Our family friend, Mike, married the love of his life. The ceremony was outside and the reception followed after at a nearby hotel. The place was all decked out in soft colors and it gave the room a perfect ambiance. We found our table, and I then introduced Marissa to Mike and his new wife, Ashley. Both were great with Marissa and we spent about ten minutes talking with them. Connor brought over a fussy Kylie and once she laid eyes on Ashley’s dress, she was completely awestruck.

“Mike, Ashley, this is my daughter Kylie,” Marissa said, making the introduction. “Say hi, baby. Look at the princess’s beautiful dress!”

Kylie blushed and hid behind her hands. We all laughed at her adorable move.

“Hello, Kylie! May I have a dance with you when we start dancing?” Ashley asked.

Kylie peeked out from behind her fingers, nodded, and then hid once more.

“She loves to dance. Every time I put on music, she’s the first one to get up,” Marissa laughed.

We left the groom and bride to talk to other guests. When it was time for their first dance together, I couldn’t help but smile seeing how so in love they were. I knew the feeling. Marissa flipped my world upside down in the best way. She was my brightest star in the darkest of skies. She was simply my whole life. She had consumed me and made me hers. There wasn’t anything that I wasn’t willing to do to make her and Kylie happy.

My feelings were so deep, so true, that I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to the possibilities of our future. One look at Mike and Ashley, and I imagined Marissa as the one in the ball gown. She would absolutely look even more radiant than she already was. Marissa was gazing at the couple, her mind completely in a daze until she caught me staring at her.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” she laughed.

“No, you’re beautiful.” The tone in my voice gave away that I was thinking of something more, but I was afraid of how Marissa might feel about my thoughts.

“You have something on your mind. Spit it.”

I scooted in closer, making sure that she was the only one who could hear me.

“Promise you won’t freak out?”

She nodded and I couldn’t hold back any longer. “I was thinking about you…in a dress like that.”

Marissa stiffened in her seat. Her mouth slightly opened and she stared straight ahead. I pushed through, not wanting her to panic.

“I know it’s way too soon, but it doesn’t hurt to think into the future. I’ve always wanted to get married, and I know you do too.”

Her face turned to mine and I could see her eyes shimmering with delight.

“I know, but ever since Omar-.”

“When Omar left, life gave you an opportunity to find someone better. You don’t have to throw away your dreams all because you stumbled on a rock. You got back up and you kept on going and-.” She cut me off by placing a finger to my lips.

“I finally found you. This may not be us now, but I hope that it  _will_  be us in the future.” She leaned in for a kiss and gave me all the answer I could have wanted.

~~~

**Marissa**

It was around one in the morning when we were all settled for bed. However, Josh and I weren’t feeling sleepy, so we changed into our pajamas and decided to watch some TV. I closed the door at the top of the stairs so no one could hear the television.

We both settled down on the couch, I curled up against his side as I tucked in my feet, feeling how sore they were.

“My feet are killing,” I moaned. “I haven’t worn heels in forever and now I’m paying the consequences.”

“Would you like a massage?” he offered.

“I’m really ticklish,” I grinned.

“I promise I won’t tickle you. You’re going to thank me for it.”

I gave in and scooted back on the couch, plopping my feet on his lap. He could feel how hesitant I was.

“If I wake up Kylie or anyone in the house, I’m going to blame you,” I warned.

“Is that a threat?” he mused.

“Tell you what, if you prove me wrong, I’ll fuck your brains out on this couch. Deal?”

Josh licked his lips in response and began to gently massage my soles. It felt so good and I couldn’t help but moan out of relief. My head rolled to the side as he went in deep on the balls of my feet. I could feel how Josh’s muscles tensed every time I made a sound. I caught him looking at me a few times, smirking and giving me his “I told you so” look.

A few minutes went by and I could feel the ache in my feet beginning to fade. Josh slowly caressed my leg, letting his hand go further up. He thought he was going to beat me out on this one. I wasn’t going to let him.

I grabbed his hand and stopped him from any further movements. “Uh-uh. Remember, I’m going to be in charge. Stay here and start talking your clothes off.”

I got off the couch and walked back into the closed bedroom. Kylie was fast asleep and I was grateful that she was a heavy sleeper. I spotted the tie that Josh had thrown on top of his suitcase. He was going to wear it to the wedding, but he opted not to. It was good choice though, his chest hair peeking through the open collar of his shirt had made my blood simmer.

Once I had stripped off my nightgown, I tied the sash to my robe and walked back out. The slight hum of the TV was loud enough to block any noises that we’d be making and it provided the perfect amount of lighting. Josh was already shirtless and I caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his back. He heard me approaching but before he could turn around, I placed the tie loosely around his chest.

“Josh, I want to try something. Are you willing to go along with this?” I murmured in his ear. His cock twitched and I knew that he was would do anything to have me.

“Yes,” he breathed.

I tied his tie around his eyes, making sure he couldn’t see anything. “Is it too tight?”

He shook his head and I walked around to face him. His cock was growing by the second and it was so tantalizing, but I had to resist.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to let me have control. If it’s too much, just let me know.”

Josh squirmed around in his seat and tried to reach out for me. I pulled the sash and let Josh touch me, first squeezing my hips and tugging me closer to him so I had no choice but to straddle him. His breathing began to quicken and his hands didn’t stop roaming around my body as I shed the last piece of clothing off of me.

“Even when I don’t have my sight, I still know every inch of you. You have that slight scar on your right thigh when you left the screw out trying to disassemble your bed and walked by without knowing it was out. You were born with a birthmark on your left hip, what makes it so interesting is that it’s as small as my nail on my pinky, yet it’s shaped like a heart. Your skin is so soft, yet my favorite place to touch you is on the curve of your spine. It drives me crazy when you arch your back wanting to feel our chests come together. I know that the place that makes you melt is your special spot on your neck. The feel of your breasts in my hands gets my cock hard every time. But most of all, I love how you react when my skin is on yours. You can’t help but feel so aroused,” he recited.

Every time he mentioned a body part, his hands caressed that spot. His fingers played over my scar, he kissed my birthmark, and chills went up and down my spine as he ran his fingers there. He cupped my breasts and ran his thumb over my hard nipples before lightly sucking on them. He finally rubbed my sex and I could feel his fingers getting soaked as I moved my hips along the rhythm.

My fingers tugged at the ends of his hair as our lips in a passionate kiss. Our tongue danced around each other as I began to grind against him, letting him know the effect that he had on me. He wanted more, but he desperately wanted to see me on him.

“Don’t take that tie off until I tell you to,” I whispered huskily against his lips.

I began to lightly suck, kiss and leave a trail with my tongue along his neck. His hands were on my hips, but I quickly brushed them away, telling him that he couldn’t touch just yet. I made my way further down, getting on my knees until I caught his erection in my hand. He was already dribbling at the tip and I couldn’t help but swirl my tongue around the head. I slowly began to bob my head, taking him in as much as I could. Josh’s hands were itching to touch me, but instead he gripped the leather couch.

I couldn’t get enough of him. He became my personal firecracker popsicle much like the ones I’d eaten on the Fourth of July. The sweet juices coated my lips and this was no different. I was addicted to him as much as he was addicted to me. I wanted to prove to him that I needed him like my next breath, so what better way than to show it.

Josh began to twitch in my mouth and I knew he was close. A few more bobs and one final lick, Josh spurt all over my lips. It was tortuous to him knowing that he wanted to watch me lick my lips like I always did. The ache in between my legs was so unbearable, that I had Josh lie down on the floor.

“I want to sit on your face,” I stated with a moan.

“I want to taste you so bad, but I want to see you,” he pleaded.

“Not just yet. I promise that tie will be off in no time.”

I hovered over Josh’s face when I was suddenly being pulled down to his mouth without giving me time to prepare.

“Oh fuck!” I yelped.

“Shhh, wouldn’t want to wake up Kylie,” he taunted. His hot breath hit my sensitive clit and skin. It took every ounce that I had not to scream his name.

Josh let his tongue slowly swirl around my sensitive bud. Then he trailed to my entrance and plunged his talented, wet tongue in me. His hands tugged on my hips and I was literally on him. I tried to lift myself up, but his vice grip was so much stronger.

“Josh…,” I panted.

“Don’t. Just give in to me. I want all of you. You won’t be hurting me,” he huffed.

I closed my eyes and let the pleasure run its course. My hands were about to give out and I could see the swirl of colors starting to blind me. My end was so close, but I knew that the only way to make me come is if we looked at each other, I needed Josh to look at me.

I pulled away from him and straddled his hips, forcing him to stop. My shaking hand ripped the tie off Josh’s eyes. “Baby, I need you to look at me,” I said, my voice sounding hoarse.

His eyes were wild, dark and dangerous. It was exciting yet I knew what was going to happen. He lifted me up and sat on the couch. With one swift move, he was already pushing himself inside me. My breathing quickened and I saw how a smirk form on his face.

“You said you were going to fuck me. Now show me how much you want it,” he said darkly.

My hands gripped the back of the couch as I began to move. My eyes fluttered open and close, I was too turned on to keep them opened. Josh was smirking, eating up everything that I was feeling. One hand rested on my hip while the other disappeared between us, rubbing my little button. My desire and hunger for him grew with each passing second. I placed both of his hands on my ass and began to fuck him like I never had before. I needed to feel both of our releases take over.

“Oh shit! Yeah, right there, Maris. Fuck me like you can’t live without me,” he urged.

“Oh god! Oh god!” I whimpered.

I crashed my lips on his before I slammed my hips once more against his. At the exact moment, we came together and I could feel the evidence of our climax mixing together inside me. I couldn’t see straight for seconds, my breathing was too accelerated, and my ears buzzed. All I could remember was Josh’s lips hovering over mine before he pulled me in for a kiss. It was gentle and sweet, nothing like earlier.

My arms felt limp and I completely let Josh catch me. My body could not respond with any sort of movement.

Josh laughed after a few minutes before he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“Damn, baby. You’ve really outdone yourself in a good way. I like it when you take control, I find it really sexy.”

I smiled, blushing at his compliment. “That was the first time I ever did that. But to be completely honest, I really like it when you’re in control. I like giving myself to you.”

“Either way, I still love you. You drive me insane.” He kissed me and waited for me to move.

“I don’t think I can move, babe,” I laughed.

He helped me off his lap and placed me beside him. Josh got up and handed me my robe, slipped on his boxer briefs, and carried his pajamas. Once he turned off the television, we walked back to the room with him wrapping his arms around me from behind like I was going to fall.

“Remember on New Years when I made love to you on pool table?” he asked.

“How can I not? I ended up with a slight brush burn on my back from the felt. At least it’s gone now.”

He giggled in my ear. “You took me on the couch, do you know where else I want you?”

I turned to face him as I felt my back hit the door. I shook my head no, so he then proceeded to tell me.

“I want you on my bed, but Kylie is the princess and deserves the best so I’ll let that go. I’d really like to have you out in the open.”

My eyes widened.  _Out in the open?_

“Care to elaborate?”

Josh leaned down and kissed me into a relaxing state.

“I’d really like to fuck you outside, out in the open where you’ll scream my name out loud and no one can hear us. I don’t know when that day will come, but I promise you it will. You’ll lose your voice for days.”

“Sounds like a threat,” I teased.

“It’s not a threat. It’s a promise,” he winked.

My cheeks burned with what he told me, and when we walked into the room, I looked over and saw him crawling into bed and pulling Kylie towards him. How can a guy who gave me the best orgasm of my life turn into such a softie with my daughter within seconds?

I felt so numb and satisfied, that all I wanted to do was to snuggle with the two people that I loved the most in the world. My underwear and nightgown were on top of my suitcase so I quickly slipped into them and climbed on the bed. However, Josh’s words played in my head and I couldn’t wait for him to carry out his promise. To pay back for his teasing ways, I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

“You missed a place. You forgot in the back seat of your car, parked on a cliff overlooking LA.”

I could see with the little light that shined in the room that Josh was intrigued. Mission accomplished.

“Good night,” I murmured and kissed him on the cheek. I turned to my side and fell asleep, happy that he wasn’t the one with the last word.


	20. A Ghost From the Past

The room began to light up, the sun peeking in through the cracks of the curtains. I was feeling comfortable and beyond happy. Josh was lying on his front, hugging his pillow, and looking like he was having a dream.

I had felt guilty when he flew back with me a few days after the Fourth of July. He was so insistent on coming along, but I told him to stay since his family wanted to see him. However, I ended up losing that argument and he came back to LA with us instead of staying another week. When I thought about it, I knew he was right. If he hadn’t come along, I would’ve been miserable.

There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that grew by the second, like something was going to happen today and it was making me feel anxious- even a bit scared. I didn’t like the feeling. I scooted in closer to Josh, hoping he would wrap his arms around me so I could feel protected.

I nudged in closer and finally felt his arm wrap around me. He looked down on me with sleepy eyes and a crooked smirk that he always gave me every morning.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he mumbled. His voice sounded so sexy when he first woke up.

“Something is going to happen today,” I simply stated.

“And what’s that?” he asked as he smacked his lips together.

“I don’t know, but I think we need to do something today to distract me from this feeling.”

Josh began to run his fingers up and down my spine, eventually lifting my tank top from the back. I hitched my leg further up and I could feel that he was slightly hard. Without saying anything, I urgently pulled the covers off, pulled down his briefs by the elastic waistband, and gave him the ultimate “good morning”.

~~~

“What do you think we should do today?” Josh asked as he fed Kylie her breakfast.

“I don’t know. What do you suggest?” I asked as I washed the dishes.

“How about we go to Disneyland?”

“I don’t think so. It’s the middle of July and there will be thousands of tourists and people on vacation, it would be way too crowded.”

Josh continued to feed Kylie when he finally came up with a suggestion.

“How about we go to the Santa Monica Pier? We can take Kylie to the beach, play some games, and go on rides!” he exclaimed.

Oh boy, the Santa Monica Pier. What  _wonderful_ memories.

“Marissa? What do you think?” My thoughts were interrupted with Kylie’s cheers.

“Um, sure. I haven’t been there in a while,” I mumbled.

He noticed my hesitance and placed Kylie down on her feet so she could wander around. Josh brought her bowl over to the sink and made me face him.

“What’s wrong? Do you not want to go there?”

I took the bowl out of his hands and began to wash it. Would it help telling him what happened the last time I went to the pier?

“The last time I went there, it was one of my last dates with Omar. I remember waking up feeling a little off. I even felt sick in the bathroom that day, but I did whatever I could to ignore any suspicions I had.”

I lowered my gaze as my hands gripped the side of the sink. I had no way of knowing if going back there would bring me comfort or cause me pain.

“Marissa, we don’t have to go there,” Josh comforted as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

“No, we can go. I’m not going to let some asshole ruin everything for my daughter. The pain I had over him is not worth it now that I have you here by my side.”

Josh immediately pulled me in for a hug. His strong embrace was all I needed to make things better.    

“I love you,” I mumbled into his chest.

“I love you too. I promise that today we’ll make a better memory,” he vowed as he kissed my temple.

“Why don’t you ask Andre to come along? We haven’t seen him since we left Union,” I suggested.

“Okay, so should we go around 4:30-5?”

I smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

~~~

There were many people on the pier and Kylie was beyond excited to get on the merry-go-round. Josh and Andre were having a friendly competition as to who would win the biggest prize for Kylie. Andre won her a Minion that was the same size as her and Josh, after three games, won a huge bear for her.

The fans that recognized Josh and asked for a picture were very sweet and patient. Kylie was confused as to why there were so many people around him, so she constantly wanted Josh to hold her. I really didn’t know what had gotten into her. We took the prizes to the car and decided to have some ice cream before wrapping the day up by riding the ferris wheel.

“So are you having fun?” Josh asked me as I fed Kylie some of my ice cream.

“I am. I’m glad we came here, but I’m a little worried that there were a bunch of people taking pictures of us from far away. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the hate from thousands of female fans or the comments that will be made towards me and Kylie.”

“Ignore them. Nothing pisses them off even more than not acknowledging them,” Josh smirked.

“That’s right, Maris. Don’t even worry about it. The majority of the fans that speak out are teenagers,” Andre laughed. “Anyway, I have a few new ideas for your upcoming game.”

As Andre and Josh discussed the game plan, I saw that Kylie had made a mess and smeared the ice cream all over her hands and mouth. I had to find a bathroom and the closest one was around the corner.

“You guys, I’ll be right back. I need to get Kylie cleaned up or she will be one sticky mess,” I laughed as I tapped her nose.

I walked to the restroom, feeling like someone was watching me from a distance. I brushed the feeling off, thinking it was a fan that was waiting for me to leave. Once I reached the bathroom, I had Kylie stand up on the counter as I grabbed paper towels to wet them.

“You love ice cream, don’t you baby?” I cooed.

“Yes!” she exclaimed.

“Well we need to clean you up before we can go on our last ride, okay?” I wiped her mouth and cheeks as she replied with a small “okay”.

When I finished, I picked her up and walked out when I heard the voice that sent chills all over my body.

“Marissa?”

I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to keep on walking until I heard the voice call my name again.

“Marissa? Is that you?” I turned slowly, only to find myself face to face with Omar.

Omar was someone who you couldn’t ignore when you saw him. He stood over six feet tall, he was broad and muscular, his eyes were a hypnotic green, and an eerie, threatening smile was plastered on his face.

“Hi, Omar,” I replied.

Kylie could feel how tense I was and wrapped her arms around my neck even tighter while burying her face in my hair.

“So, I see that you have a plus one now. She looks nothing like me. Must’ve been someone else’s just like I thought.”

I could feel my face getting hot and I was beyond pissed that he insulted me in front of Kylie.

“What do you want? I kept away from you just like you wanted me to. I didn’t come after you or slam you with any legal documents that would force you to take care of her,” I sneered.

“I know, thank goodness. I am simply too young to be a father, much less to someone who’s not even mine,” he shot back.

I could feel hot tears run down my face. I was being humiliated and I wanted to run away.

“Fuck you. She’s mine,” I snapped.

“You already did, sweetheart. And look at where you are now.”

I began to walk away until I felt Omar’s tight grip on my left arm. I gasped at the pain as I tried to break free. He never laid a hand on me and it was scaring me how he changed dramatically.

“I didn’t say you could go.”

“Please, Omar. Let me go, pretend you never saw me,” I pleaded.

Just then, I heard Josh yell out my name. Once Omar heard Josh, he let go of my arm and I winced at the pain that was left behind.

“Marissa! What took you so long?” he asked as he came by my side. My eyes didn’t leave Omar’s as tears continued to run down my face.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“So you must be the father, congrats on carrying the baggage,” Omar remarked.

The look on Josh’s face suddenly became territorial. Andre was behind him and he already had a hand on Josh’s shoulder.

“And you are?”

“Oh, she never told you about me? I’m Omar,” he introduced himself.

“Josh, let’s go. He’s not worth it,” I began as I pulled on his arm.

“Oh, no wonder why you looked so familiar! You’re that actor from those movie, huh? Wow, Marissa, you didn’t do half bad landing you’re self a million dollar actor. What did you do to convince him to be yours?” he chuckled.

“Fuck you. You never had the balls to own up to your consequences. I accepted Marissa and her daughter, in fact I already consider myself the father of her child. What have you done exactly?” Josh fired back. Omar was already fuming at Josh’s words and I was scared that they were going to start fighting.

“Josh, please,” I urged. Andre was already at his side just in case one of the guys would throw the first punch.

“You are seriously pathetic,” Josh countered.

Within a flash of a second, Omar swung at Josh. He ducked before he could hit him and Andre shoved him, causing Omar to stumble backwards. Kylie was crying out for Josh and trying to break free from my arms.

“Get out of here. Go!” Andre roared.

Omar’s eyes were bewildered, he wanted to put up a fight but he knew better than to start anything in public.

“You won’t get away with this,” Omar threatened as he pointed a finger at me. He turned and walked away. Kylie was crying and there were people all around staring at us.

Josh turned to us and held out his arms for Kylie. I handed her over to him and he held her tight against him.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re safe, no one is ever going to hurt you. Shh,” he consoled her as he rubbed her back soothingly.

I went over to him and wrapped my arms around them both. I cried along with Kylie. It was horrible that our family day had turned sour. Andre came and rubbed my back, consoling all of us.

“Are you okay, Maris?” he asked.

“I’m fine. Thank you, Andre. Thank you for being there in case things got out of hand.”

“Don’t worry about it. I care for you guys and I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” he smiled.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Josh asked as he touched my cheek.

I shook my head in response and buried my face on his neck. As Josh soothed my back, he was giving Kylie kisses. I didn’t want to tell him what Omar did to me. I was just going to have to hide the bruise away from him.

The stares and murmurs of bystanders intensified with each passing second. Who knows if someone took pictures or recorded the whole confrontation on their phone so they could show it to a magazine.

“Josh, I want to go home.”

“Yeah, I think it’s best to go. I need to call my publicist about this. I have a feeling people are going to want to know who was fighting with whom.”

All of us headed to the parking lot and got in Josh’s Bronco. We first dropped off Andre and headed back to the house. Kylie fell asleep in her car seat and I didn’t want to disturb her from her slumber. I placed her in her crib and placed a kiss on her cheek, thankful that Omar didn’t harm her in any way. She shouldn’t have had to witness what happened and I felt so horrible for even stopping when I heard my name.

I walked back into the room and headed towards the shower. Omar’s touch was still fresh in my memory and I wanted to clean the filth off me. The water helped cleanse away my thoughts as I felt Josh pull me in to him. My body began to tremble and my emotions were at the highest peak.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here, please don’t let him get to you. Stay strong for Kylie, for me.” His plea was heartfelt and all I wanted was for him to erase those memories. Once he was done washing himself, he grabbed my loofah and had just begun to wash me when his eyes landed on my arm. Purple finger marks had already formed around my arm and it was tender to touch. I winced when Josh touched it.

“Did he do this to you? Why didn’t you tell me?” he fumed.

“It didn’t hurt then, it does a little now. Please, please, just ignore it. It will go away on its own. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” My hand reached for his cheek and he kissed my palm.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I should’ve walked you there.”

“It’s not your fault, Josh. Don’t you dare think it’s yours.” I kissed him, to let him now that he was still our hero.

“Please, just make the memory go away.”

Josh knew what I needed. Once the shower was off, he carried me to the room and placed me on the bed. We made love and he was determined to make what happened not too long ago, disappear. He whispered all the things that I wanted to hear, he told me how much he loved me, and how he was never going to let anyone get in between us.

When we were done, we lay together with our leg entwined and our fingers linked. Josh kissed each of my fingers, making every little thing that made me hurt, vanish.

My cell phone began to ring from my purse that I placed on the dresser. I got up, tearing the sheet away from Josh as he tried to pull it away from me.

“Josh! Give me the sheet!” I squealed.

“No! I want you walking around naked when you’re with me,” he taunted.

“I need the sheet!” I protested with giggles.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen anything before,” he winked.

I laughed and gave up with the sheet. I walked over to my purse to dig up my phone from the bottom. The number was my grandparent’s house and I tried to suppress the giggling.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Marissa,” my grandfather greeted me. His tone was firm and the police officer in him came out. 

“Hey, Grandpa! What’s up?”

“Marissa, I don’t know how you’ll handle this so please take a seat.”

The tone in his voice didn’t sound good. I sat on the corner of the end of the bed.

“What’s wrong? Is something wrong with grandma?” Panic was running through me.

“No, she’s fine. We got a phone call ten minutes ago…”

My thoughts began to reel in one after the other.

“Your dad’s in the hospital and he’s in critical condition.” 


	21. Face to Face- Part 1

When my grandfather told me the news, it felt like l was being hit by a freight train. First Omar and now this? I nearly dropped my phone on my lap, until I heard my grandfather speak up.

“Marissa? Are you still there?” he questioned.

“Y-yeah. What happened to him?”

“They wouldn’t tell us much, just that he got cornered leaving a bar and some guys beat the hell out of him. He’s not doing very well, Marissa.”

I didn’t even know what to do, should I go or stay here? I pulled out the restraining order against him long ago. My body was trembling, exhausted, and beyond achy.

“I need to think about this, grandpa. I’ll let you know what I decide on.”

“Okay, he’s at the Northridge Hospital Medical Center. If you want, you, Josh, and Kylie can stay with us and we can go up there to see him.”

“Okay, thank you.” I hung up without saying anything else.

Josh crawled over to me and pulled me over to him as he sat beside me.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

I sighed, “My dad…he’s in the hospital.”

“Oh my god, is he okay?” he questioned.

“I-I don’t know. He got beat up pretty bad after leaving a bar. He’s in critical condition.”

I was so conflicted. I didn’t know what to feel. Everything around me was making me feel dizzy.

“Are you going to go?” Josh spoke up.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know,” I replied in a small voice.

I got up and walked to the dresser to pull out a shirt of Josh’s. He was already pulling on his boxer briefs and his face was as blank as mine.

“I think you should go,” Josh said.

Fresh tears sprang to my eyes. All the feelings that I held against my dad suddenly burst. I was angry about what he had done to me two years ago, but I felt so much sadness and anxiety because I’d already lost one parent and I didn’t want to lose the other no matter how angry I was. My legs were about to give out when Josh caught me and carried me back to the bed. I cried, I cried until my eyes were so dry and irritated. Josh didn’t let me go, not once, he knew that I needed him.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he murmured as he touched my hair.

“I don’t know.” I was avoiding the subject of what happened that night and anything of great detail before that.

“Okay, well tell me more about how your dad reacted when your mom died.”

The subject hurt but Josh always had a way to keep me calm and at ease. He was like my personal psychologist and he knew the answer to everything. I closed my eyes because it somehow helped me relax.

“When my mom died, it felt like my dad died along with her. After her funeral, he wasn’t the same. He turned to alcohol and stopped being a parent. He always brushed me off when I needed things. A friend worked at the mall and she helped me get a job where she worked. I basically had to support myself the last two years of high school. I then got another job at a restaurant and I had to balance out both jobs until one offered me a raise I couldn’t refuse.

“My dream was to go to UCLA and major in psychology. But then I realized I needed to take care of my dad. As much as I hated him drinking, I didn’t want to leave him alone. He was hurt deep down and it hurt me so much,” I cried.

“Marissa, I think you should go and see him. It will show that you still care about him. I don’t know what went through his mind when you were away from him, but if I had a child, I know I would wonder how they were at the end of every day. Your dad cares, he just got lost somewhere along the way.”

He was right, my dad was a mess when my mom died. There were days when he went without even caring about his appearance. He would just sleep and eventually wake up to drink, finding himself a girlfriend with major issues. As much as I hurt from what he did to me, I still loved him.

“If I go, will you come with me?” I asked as I steadied myself on an elbow.

“Of course, I’ll be there with you on whatever you chose.”

“Thank you.”

I kissed him and we both got off the bed to look for a suitcase. We stuffed it with our clothes and I went into Kylie’s room to get her bag ready. Within minutes, we were on our way back to Encino.

~~~

My grandfather, Josh, and I walked through the doors of the emergency room. I held on to Josh, not letting go once. I wasn’t ready to see him, not in the state he was in.

I walked over to the desk and began to ask for information. It was past midnight and I couldn’t believe how strict and interrogating the nurses were at this hour.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for David Bartolo.” My voice was surprisingly calm.

“Are you family?” the nurse asked.

“I’m his daughter.”

The nurse took a few moments before she told me what side he was in. They didn’t want to allow Josh or my grandfather to go in with me, but I begged until she let them. We walked down the hall a little way before the nurse finally pulled aside a curtain. If it weren’t for Josh and my grandfather, I would’ve probably fallen over.

I couldn’t even recognize the man in front of me. His face was bruised, cut, and definitely swollen. His left arm was in a cast, an oxygen mask was placed over his face, and he had gauze wrapped around his head.

“He had some internal bleeding, a fractured arm, and was knocked out. That probably caused the gash on the side of his head. He was unconscious when he was brought in.”

“Will he survive?” I asked in a trembling voice.

“He’s stable for now, but the doctor has him under close surveillance. We check on him every ten minutes. We should be able to move him to a room very soon,” she said.

“Thank you. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?” my grandfather asked. He and the nurse walked out and left Josh and I with my dad.

I was frozen in my spot. I didn’t even want to move in fear that everything was going to come crashing down.

“I’m right here with you,” Josh whispered in my ear.

Josh guided me towards him as my hand began to skim across the edge of the bed. My hand was about to reach for his right, but I pulled away like I was about to touch something hot. I took a closer look at him and he was so unrecognizable, that it hurt me to the core. Now I was beginning to ask myself whether this was a good idea or not to even be near him. He was in a deep sleep, so for now, it was best to sit it out and wait.

I sat on Josh’s lap and watched as my dad tried to take in deep breaths. Josh held me tight, assuring me that he was going to be by my side every minute. My grandfather walked in and stood at the foot of the bed.

“The reports said that he got into a heated argument with a few guys at the bar. There’s a possibility that they could be the major suspects, but there were no witnesses to the actual fight,” he explained.

“I thought he would have stopped drinking by now,” I huffed.

“Maybe he needs to see someone about this. Like after he’s out of here,” Josh suggested.

“I told him that many times, but he’d just brush me off or ignore me. That’s what he did best,” I replied.

Suddenly, two nurses came in to transport him to his room. All three of us followed and within the minute, the doctor arrived. He explained my father’s injuries and told us that they believed that no one had called 911 for at least ten minutes after the incident. For now, all we could do was let him rest and see if he could recall anything when he woke up.

When the doctor left, I stood on one side of the bed while Josh stood at the foot and my grandfather on the other side. My head was pounding and I wished I could sleep.

“Marissa, are you okay?” my grandfather asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Marissa, I think you should tell your grandfather what happened,” Josh murmured.

“What happened?” my grandfather fired.

“Nothing happened,” I stated.

“If you won’t say anything, I will.” The fury in Josh’s eyes was laced with disappointment. “We ran into Omar today.”

“Josh,” I began, but he continued to tell the horrible encounter.

“What? Did he hurt you?” my grandfather asked as he walked around to stand by my side.

“No, he didn’t!” I quietly tried to explain.

“Marissa, please, don’t keep this thing private,” Josh urged. He too walked to my side and lifted the sleeve up my arm so the dark bruise was displayed in the light.

I tried to pull down the sleeve, but my grandfather insisted on taking a closer look. The pain hasn’t dulled and it was still tender to touch. He ordered Josh to take pictures and that’s when I began to panic.

“What are you doing?” I worried.

“Marissa, this is abuse. Why didn’t you call someone right away?” my grandfather questioned. His face started to turn pink, a sure sign that he was getting upset.

“I wasn’t thinking at that moment. I didn’t want him to hurt Kylie,” I cried. I buried my face in his chest and cried, heaving and feeling out of breath.

My grandfather didn’t let me go. He held on to me tightly as much as he did the night I arrived at their house. They were right, I shouldn’t have taken this incident so lightly. Omar could’ve done more and if there weren’t people around, he could’ve seriously hurt me or even done more damage to Kylie. I couldn’t bear the thought of my baby crying over that asshole.

“What do you suggest?” I asked as I wiped my face from the tears.

“Give me his full name and I’ll take care of it,” my grandfather affirmed.

“But I don’t know if he lives in Northridge anymore. How will you trace him?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll find that bastard,” he vowed. “But I think you should go home and sleep. We can come with you in the morning if you’d like.”

“He’s right, babe. You look exhausted and they have your contact information in case anything happens. We’ll be here first thing in the morning,” Josh reasoned.

I hesitated, but I knew that Kylie would be asking for me if she finds that she’s not in her room. Before we left, I walked over to bid my dad a farewell.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, dad. I promise.” I gave him a small peck on his cheek before I walked out of the room, clutching Josh’s hand with all the strength that I had.

~~~

The next morning, I was awoken by Josh talking quietly on the phone. Kylie had her face buried in my chest and it was a bit difficult to get up without disturbing her.

“No, I need to cancel my appearance at Comic-Con tomorrow. Something personal came up.”

I could hear the person on the other side of the line freaking out over what he just told them.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have something personal to deal with,” he argued.

“Josh.” He heard me whisper his name before he went back to his phone.

“I need to call you back.”

“Baby, I don’t want you to cancel your appearance to anything,” I began. “I’ll be fine.”

“Marissa, no. I need to be with you.”

“I’ll be fine. My grandparents can help me with Kylie. Besides, you’ll be gone for a few hours. Your fans will be crushed not to see you. Please go,” I pleaded.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and told him to call back and to confirm his appearance. It also reminded me that I had to call in at work and explain the situation to Adam. Thankfully, he told me to take the time that I needed because this was considered my family emergency. We both showered and had breakfast before heading back to the hospital. Kylie was getting fussier by the minute and it hurt me to leave her behind.

“No, mama! Stay!” she cried out loud as she tightened her grip around my neck.

“Princess, we’ll be back real soon, okay? Mama Bear is going to stay with you and I can’t take you with me,” I explained to her.

I handed her over to my grandmother and she was red-faced from her screaming and crying. We left before her crying was so loud that I could hear her from outside the house. Josh asked if we could bring her along, but I told her that it wouldn’t be a great idea. I didn’t want her to see my dad that way and if they were ever going to meet, it was going to be when he would be back up on his own two feet and sober.

The traffic to Northridge wasn’t bad and we arrived sooner than expected. When we walked into the room, a nurse was exiting the room, telling us that he had gotten better over night.

Josh’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he excused himself to head out to the sitting area to talk. I pulled a chair and sat by my dad’s side. My hand reached out for his and it saddened me that he still didn’t react.

“Dad, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I want to let you know that I’m here.” A tear slipped down my cheek, but I was determined to still talk to him even though he probably couldn’t hear me.

“I really wish you’d give up on your drinking. We wouldn’t be in this mess. I miss my dad, I needed a parent. I needed you when my life took a turn, but you pushed me out of your life. I guess it’s my fault. I should’ve done more for you. I’m sorry I failed as your daughter.”

I leaned down over the side and cried. It was a much needed cry because it seemed that everything that I had against my dad vanished within seconds. I didn’t want my relationship with him to be like this at all, but he scared me the way he reacted when he was intoxicated. Even his relationship with his girlfriend wasn’t a healthy one, it was lethal.

My dad’s hand suddenly began to squeeze mine gently. I lifted my head to see if what I felt was more than a trick of my imagination. His fingers began to move and as I looked up, he was slightly moving his head and groaning.

This was it, two years of being apart and it was now or never on making things right- but in that mere moment, everything that I was going to say to him vanished when his green eyes finally landed on mine. 


	22. Face to Face- Part 2

The bravery that I once felt had now vanished into thin air. There was still a part of me that felt some kind of fear and once my dad opened his eyes, I didn’t know if I should make a run for it.

He groaned and blinked his eyes a few times. I let go of his hand and took tiny steps toward the foot of his bed, ready to bail.

“What are you doing here?” he groaned. His voice sounded angry, as if he was getting ready to start yelling.

“I’m sorry for coming,” I said quickly and began to make my way towards the door.

“Wait!” he called after me, trying to sit up before he grunted in pain, falling back against the bed.

I closed my eyes, still dreading what he would say to me. I walked to the foot of his bed and stayed there because if he was going to lecture me, I would be out the door within two seconds.

“What happened to me?” he questioned as he touched his head gingerly.

“You got beat up by a group of guys,” I replied, keeping the talking to a minimum.

“How did you know I was here?”

I laced my fingers together nervously. “They called my grandparents. They called me. If you don’t want me here, I can go. You can forget that I was ever here.”

The silence was thick with tension. He didn’t say anything and it was my queue to start walking.

“I don’t want you to go,” he spoke up quietly. I tried to avoid his gaze because it felt so uncomfortable.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Josh lingering at the doorway. When I looked over at him, he quietly let me know that he would be waiting outside. I gave him a slight nod and watched him walk away.

“Come here.”

I walked over and pulled the chair a little farther away from the bed. I couldn’t even look at him in the eyes, instead I looked down at my lap, drawing small designs on the leg of my pants. It felt so awkward being here, but I had to stick it out.

“I saw you in a magazine last month,” my dad mumbled.

My head snapped upwards and I cocked an eyebrow at what he’d said.

“She looks a lot like you- your little girl,” he grumbled.

“Thank you.”

“What’s her name?”

I didn’t know why he was acting so friendly, he wasn’t like this in the last five years I was with him.

“Her name is Kylie…Kylie Nicole.”

He chuckled to himself. “Nicole, just like your mom. Is the guy you’ve been seen with the father?” he questioned.

I shook my head, “No, her father denied her. He hasn’t seen her at all until yesterday when I ran into him. But I met the guy that you saw in the magazine and he treats her as his own. She’s grown so attached to him and we both love him so much.”

Who was I kidding? I wasn’t brave enough to stick around him. I was better off just walking out when I had the chance. My lip began to quiver and I quickly wiped away a stray tear.

“I’m sorry for the way I treated you two years ago. I realized I stepped over many lines and I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t forgive me,” he finally said.

That was what I was waiting to hear, but I wasn’t sure if I could believe it. The feeling of his hands on me was still fresh in my mind, no matter how many times Josh replaced the feeling with his lips. The pain was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

“I need time to be able to forgive you. I will eventually. I didn’t like not having you in my life the past two years, but I really wish you’d stop with the drinking. It’s caused you a lot of damage,” I admitted.

He sighed while he closed his eyes. “I know. Believe me when I say that I tried many times. I couldn’t cope with the pain of losing your mom and when you left me and it was clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, I didn’t see the point in living anymore.”

“Don’t say that. I’d be completely heartbroken if something were to happen to you,” I countered as I reached out for his hand.

“I’m really sorry. I promise that I’m going to get help and I want to be a part of your life. And Kylie’s.”

My heart softened at his promise and I knew that he was going to keep his word, he always did.

“I’d really like that. But I need you to be better first before I introduce you to Kylie. It’s going to take a while for to comprehend who you are,” I explained.

“I understand,” he agreed as he squeezed my hand. I leaned over and gave him the hug that I desperately wanted to feel. It felt so good when he reciprocated and held me tight against him.

“I love you, Maris. I’m so sorry,” he whispered in my ear as he placed a small kiss on my cheek.

“I love you too, daddy.”

I didn’t let go until I heard a small cough break the silence. I moved away from my father to see Josh lingering in the doorway. With a small smile, I gave him the approval that he needed to join us. When my dad finally laid eyes on Josh, he was slightly embarrassed by the tears that where trickling down his face.

“Hello sir, how are you feeling?” Josh asked politely.

“I’m doing fine, thank you. Marissa, would you like to introduce us?” my dad hinted.

“Oh yeah. Dad, this is Josh. He’s my boyfriend, who I love very much,” I smiled. “Josh, this is my dad, David.”

Josh walked over to my side and held out his hand to shake my dad’s.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Josh. I’m glad you’re making my little girl happy.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir. I’d do anything for Marissa and Kylie,” Josh smiled.

The three of us spent the next hour catching up. I even showed my dad some pictures of Kylie that I had on my phone. It turned out that Josh and my dad had a lot in common when it came to sports and movies, so they found it easy to make conversation. While we were there, the doctor came in and checked out my dad’s injuries. The doctor explained that he seemed to be recovering quickly and there was a chance of him going home in a few days.

I was finally feeling at ease when my phone vibrated in my pocket and I saw that the incoming call came from my grandmother. I excused myself from the room to answer her call.

“Hey grandma,” I answered.

“Hey, how’s your dad doing?”

“He woke up and we talked…” I trailed off.

“Oh. Was he cooperative?”

“Well, if he apologized and promised to seek help about his drinking, then I think it’s pretty serious.”

“He does sound serious. I’m very happy for you.” I could practically feel her smiling on the other line. I could also hear Kylie screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Kylie has been asking for you and Josh. I just wanted to know when you think you would be back.”

“I can leave right now. I think it’s best to let him rest and come back later or tomorrow. Josh needs to rest because he has this event in San Diego that he needs to go to tomorrow,” I said.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”

We both hung up the phone and I walked back in to the room. Josh had taken my seat and he was blabbering away to my dad. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was so glad not to be holding a grudge against my father anymore. I was finally happy.

“Dad, Kylie is asking for me. Do you want me to come back later before visiting hours are over or tomorrow?”

“Marissa, she needs you- both of you. I’ll be fine, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. You can come back tomorrow,” he assured.

I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug goodbye while Josh patted his shoulder, promising him that I would come back tomorrow. We both exited the hospital and it felt like I was breathing in new air. It seemed like everything in the universe was finally turning out for the good.

Josh held my hand as we drove down back to Encino. He couldn’t stop smiling at how happy I was when we left the hospital.

“I’m really glad that you worked things out with him,” he spoke up after a while.

“I am too. I really thought he wasn’t going to want me there, but he did.”

“I told you so,” he bragged as he stuck his tongue out at me.

“I know, I know. What do I have to do in order for you to stop rubbing it in because I know you’re going to say that again.”

His smile curved into a smirk. “I can think of a few things,” he teased.

“You’re going to have to wait for that until we go back home,” I taunted as I lifted our joined hands up to my lips and bit down gently on his pinky. His grip on the steering wheel made his knuckles turn white. When I sucked over his finger, he began to squirm in his seat.

“You’re making me want to pull over so I can see those pretty lips of yours sucking my cock. I don’t give a damn who sees us,” he murmured huskily.

I could already feel my insides warming up from the sudden arousal of his proposal. I leaned over and ran my hand over his growing bulge. A groan reverberated from his chest when my hand came in contact with his jeans. He placed his hand on top of mine, warning me that my intentions were not appropriate at that moment.

He moved our hands to the armrest and chuckled to himself. I was infuriated at the way he had made me this turned on and was leaving me sexually frustrated when he started it.

“Remember back when we were in Union and you told me that you wanted me overlooking the view of the city?” he reminisced.

My cheeks flushed as he repeated my words. I had said that to him in order to get even with him, for leaving me all hot and bothered when he said he wanted to fuck me out in the open. I nodded, feeling like I was losing the battle.

“I know of a place where we can fully play out that fantasy of yours. And since I’m leaving for San Diego tomorrow, I’d like to take you there tonight.”

“We sound like teenagers going to some hideaway to make out,” I giggled.

“I promise you that we will be doing more than just making out, baby. I’ll have you feeling sore all of tomorrow.”

I couldn’t contain my smirk. Josh had made me feel sore plenty of times but I had a feeling he had something special up his sleeve. He was going to make this going away thing something special.

“You’ve got something planned, Hutcherson. What is it that you’re going to do to me once we take in the view and you have me in the back seat?” I asked as I innocently ran my hands over my breasts.

“Actually, we need to make a little detour back to the tree house,” he indicated.

“And why’s that?”

He glanced over at me, pulling his down his sunglasses so I could see the way his eyes had darkened before he put them back in place, returning his attention to the road.  

“Well, there’s something that I’d like to try if you’re okay with that, so I need to run to CVS first to get it. Then, you left something back in the room that we’ll need, something… purple,” he hinted.

My mouth dropped I realized he was talking about my vibrator. He’d used it on me a few times, but it was part of foreplay before he went down on me. I could feel myself getting wet from just his words and I was silently cursing the fact that the sun was still out.

“Why, Josh, you’re such a naughty boy,” I taunted.

“Anything for my naughty girl. I just hope that you’ll be able to walk right without anyone suspecting that I fucked you nice and hard from behind.”

“A promise is a promise,” I sighed.

“And I, my dear, am a man of my word.”


	23. Fate

**Josh**

It was the day after the basketball game and my muscles ached but not just because of the game. Most of the ache was due to the way Marissa had made me come three times last night after the game. The girl had this drive in her and I was determined to keep up with her no matter how much she wore me out. But I couldn’t complain, she felt so perfect when my hands were caressing her everywhere.

Marissa had really hesitated on whether or not to go to the game. I finally convinced her to come along by telling her she should bring Kylie and Justin. My mom, Connor, and Andre were going to be on the side in case she needed anything. They were all dressed in this year’s Straight But Not Narrow shirts, even Kylie had her own custom made shirt in her size. Both she and Marissa cheered me throughout the game and no one bothered them whatsoever. A few people overheard Kylie when she would cheer, “Yay dada!” It was cute, but Marissa tried to keep her quiet, worrying about people overhearing. A few people did catch what she said and were somewhat shocked to hear her call me that. Once the game was over and the fans were leaving, Kylie called out for me and I immediately ran to her and gave her the biggest and sloppiest kiss on her cheek. I reached for Marissa and she gave me her congratulatory kiss.

 _“I’ll give you your reward tonight,”_ she had whispered. My response was to hold in a groan, but I knew that when Kylie was off in dream land, Marissa was going to take me out of this world.

She lay naked next to me, the sheet exposing her breasts. She looked tantalizing but I wanted her to sleep in. Today was her birthday, and when I asked her what she wanted, she told me that she didn’t want anything. She wanted to spend the whole day with me and Kylie. So, I planned a getaway trip to San Diego. Marissa always had a fascination with elephants and it was perfect timing to visit the zoo. Both of my girls were going to enjoy the weekend, starting today until we came back on Monday.

Marissa stirred and opened up an eye before she smiled and closed it once again. She caught me staring at her, but I couldn’t help it. I leaned over and kissed her forehead as my hand began to skim her breasts.

“Happy birthday, babe,” I murmured.

She groaned and placed her arm over her face. “Oh god. I’m old.”

“Twenty four is not old,” I replied.

“Whatever,” she groaned again.

I began to suckle lightly on her neck as my hand began to travel down her stomach and below the sheets. My hand carefully separated her folds as I ran my finger along them. She jumped at my touch, but then began to move her hips along with the tempo of my movements.

“You’re so wet, birthday girl. I love it when I make you feel this way,” I sighed as I began to move my fingers a bit faster.

“Yes, oh god I love it when your fingers are in me,” she moaned.

My movements were driving her insane and I loved it when her body reacted to me this way. The tips of my fingers slipped inside her entrance and up to her clit, rubbing her until I could feel her body quake next to mine. Small whimpers escaped her plush lips and I had to cover them with mine so she wouldn’t wake Kylie up. One peep from us and she would instantly wake up.

Marissa did everything she could to pull me on top of her. I knew what she wanted and what her body craved. I rolled on to her and pressed her against the mattress, settling myself in between her legs. My hips began to move against her wet heat, covering me in her slickness. My lips covered her rosy nipples, gently biting down on them which in return, made her buck her hips against me.

“Please,” she begged. “I need you, Josh.”

She didn’t need to tell me twice, I needed her just as much. I slipped in her with ease and gasped when I felt her tightening around me. We were both breathing heavily and let the feeling of us being one sink in for a bit. The precious connection was proof of how much I needed her, how much she made me feel complete.

“I love you so much, baby,” I told her as my hips began to pull back.

“I love you too,” she moaned. God I loved hearing her moan.

My thrusts were deliberate and slow, feeling every inch of myself being gripped tighter with every thrust. Her nails clawed my back, but it only intensified the moment. My hands clenched the pillow that her head was resting on as I leaned my forehead onto hers. Her breasts moved against my chest, her nipples grazing my sensitive skin. Every gasp that was exchanged made my spine tingle.

“You like it when I love you like this, huh?” I murmured.

Her response was to let her hands wander down to my ass and tugged me closer to her. This was her way of saying that she wanted me to go faster, but I didn’t want to. She was like a lethal drug that I would never get enough of. I loved every little thing about her and she loved me just the way I was.

“Don’t stop,” she gasped.

“Anything for you.”

Our lips kissed a lazily and my movements began to pick up the pace. I buried my face in her neck as her fingers entwined in my hair. She felt so fucking good and as much as I wanted to keep going, I knew that I was going to reach my end- but I wasn’t going to reach it without her.

“Come with me, baby. I need to feel you,” I urged.

“Oh,” she drawled as she slipped her hand between us and began to touch herself.

I continued to work her until I felt her walls tighten around me. Three, slow, tortuous thrusts, Marissa gushed along with me as I spilled myself inside her. The aftershocks of our orgasm had my head spinning and seeing stars when I blinked. It took me a few seconds for me to regain my surroundings and when I looked down, Marissa was chuckling and tracing my face with her fingers.    

“What?” I asked sounding out of breath.

“Nothing, thank you for the birthday sex.”

“There would be more but we’ll just wait until we come back home.”

“Putting off sex for a few days? That’s going to be hard,” she admitted.

“Well, I can wait a few days. But just imagine how hard I’m going to make you come and how the next time you walk, you’ll remember that I was there,” I murmured against her lips.

“I like it when you make me feel sore,” she laughed.

Marissa lowered my head by the neck to kiss me long and passionately. She moved and realized that I hadn’t moved from my position.

“You’re still inside me,” she breathed in between kisses.

“I like being inside you. You’re so warm and wet. I can’t get enough of you,” I purred.

“I love you,” she stated.

I unwillingly pulled out and could see how wet the inside of Marissa’s thighs were. I took my place beside her and we both lay on our sides, caressing each other as goose bumps broke the surface of our skin.

“Do you know what I realized?” I asked her.

She shook her head no.

“Today, a year ago, our paths crossed.”

Marissa stopped drawing a pattern on my chest and looked up at me. “You remembered?” she asked amusingly.

“Of course. You were the last one in line of the group for the meet and greet. I hadn’t looked in your direction until the line died down a bit. I felt so nervous when you were approaching me, but I needed to stay cool for you. Then when we played, I kept trying to find you in the crowd and when I spotted you, I knew that I had to show off my amazing basketball skills,” I teased.

“You were pretty great for someone who’s 5’7’’,” she giggled.

“You take that back, short stuff. You’re not that tall either!” I countered in a joking matter as I tickled her side.

“Okay, okay! Continue,” she chuckled.

“Okay, when the game was over, I was really hoping that you wouldn’t leave right away. There were a lot of people exiting and I was being pulled over to get interviewed. When Justin tapped on my shoulder and asked for another picture, I looked over to you as you held the camera. It was a big sigh of relief that I got to see you one last time. But when Justin made you take a picture with me, I felt the way your body reacted to my touch. I know you felt it too. I didn’t want to scare you off by asking you for your number so I took one good look at you and stored it in my memory forever. I didn’t know that I was going to run into you the next day.”

“I knew I felt it. But I thought that you were this big celebrity and I was a girl with problems, so why even bother thinking about it? I was so scared to even let you in, let alone look you in the eyes for so long,” she admitted as she closed her eyes, letting a tear slip from the corner of her eye.

“Hey, don’t cry. We’re here now. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not good for me. You are and I’m not going to settle for anyone less who’s not you,” I soothed.

“Thank you for making this year everything that I wanted. Thank you for being mine and a father figure to Kylie. If we never met, I don’t think anyone would have accepted me the way I am.”

“I love you and I love Kylie. In fact, I was going to ask you something, but I don’t know how you’ll react to this…,” I trailed.

“What’s that?”

I took a deep breath in, prepared to tell her my offer. “Well, you can say no to this offer, but…I was wondering…if I can…adopt Kylie.”

“Josh, that’s a very big thing,” she began.

“I know, it’s just that…like I told you before, I don’t see anyone but you and I can’t picture myself with anyone else. I’m more of a father than Omar will ever be. You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but I hope that you can say yes to it. She’s my little girl and I want her to be completely mine.”

Silence. It was something I dreaded but I could tell the cogs in her head were turning.

“I’m going to need to think about it Josh. Give me time, please?”

I nodded and felt relief that she didn’t say no. I knew that with time, Kylie was going to be mine.

As Marissa showered, I woke up Kylie and brought her over to our room. She was playing around with the comforter as Marissa got dressed and then got her dressed. While I was in the shower, Marissa packed Kylie’s clothes in a bag and brought both bags to the living room. We ate a quick breakfast and were on our way down to San Diego.

We checked in to our hotel and decided to walk around town. I showed Marissa where Comic Con was and all the neat places I had gone last year. We had a late lunch and walked along the beach, each of us holding one of Kylie’s hands. We both lifted her up before the waves crashed on to her tiny feet. Our little family time came to a halt a few times when fans asked me for a picture. I wasn’t so sure how Marissa would handle the interruptions, but she was nothing but nice to them, offering to take the pictures for them.

Kylie was still confused as to why there were other girls on me when she usually saw her mom with me. It was going to be a learning process for her, but she would understand more as she got older.

When we arrived back to the hotel, we ordered room service and enjoyed our meal in our pajamas. It was perfect timing to give Marissa her gift and I knew that she was going to like it, I just hope she didn’t panic at the size of the box thinking it was something else.

“Josh, I told you that I didn’t want anything,” she started.

“Babe, just open it. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it,” I insisted.

Marissa opened the box to find a ring with “JKM” engraved on it. Her face lit up as she slipped the ring on her finger and gazed at it from a distance.

“Josh, it’s beautiful. My favorite people are on here!” she exclaimed.

“It’s a daily reminder that we are a family, no matter what life happens to throw at us. I’ll always be there for my two special girls. Happy birthday.”

She flings her arms around my neck and crushes her lips against mine. “Thank you, I love you with all my heart.”

“I love you more.”

~~~

The next morning, we all woke up refreshed and I was excited to take the girls to the zoo. Kylie was in awe of every animal that she saw and the pandas were her favorite. It brought a smile to my face to see how excited she was over them, pointing at them and even blowing kisses.

The park was somewhat busy and we walked around most of it when once again, a few people noticed me. Kylie started to become a bit fussy when the attention was not all on her. Marissa did whatever she could to calm her down, but she kept reaching out for me.

“She wants her daddy,” Marissa explained.

“Come here, baby girl,” I comforted as Kylie as she placed her head on my shoulders.

“Should we go back to the room? I think we should all rest and go out for dinner later,” she suggested.

“Yeah, I think she got too much sun. Let’s go back.”

We made it to our hotel in one piece and once we stepped into the cool room, I placed Kylie on the bed, but she cried quietly and woke up.

“No, dada. Say,” she pleaded as her eyes were still droopy.

I lay down beside her as she clung on to my shirt, making sure I wouldn’t go anywhere.

“I think she’s jealous,” Marissa chuckled.

“You think so?” I asked as I rubbed Kylie’s back.

“She never understands why people come up to you and ask for pictures and autographs. I guess she feels territorial over her daddy,” she chuckled once more.

It seemed so silly that a one year old was jealous, but I didn’t blame her. There were a mix of things like the sun, the crowds, and the heat that may have caused her to react this way. Kylie whimpered every once in a while and it made me bring her closer to me. My poor little girl, all she wanted from me was this time of peace and quiet between us. Maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea to bring them here.

“Maybe we should’ve stayed home,” I suggested.

“No, Josh this trip was wonderful and we’re grateful for it, but give Kylie some time. She’ll understand coming from you.”

Marissa sprawled herself next to Kylie and smiled at me one last time before I felt my own eyes starting to close as my mind drifted off into a sense of tranquility.

This is where I wanted to be—my girls right next to me and spending the precious time that we had—even if it meant being wrapped in each other’s arms for just a few minutes. Both were so angelic looking and I was thankful having them by my side, sleeping with such serenity. Fate brought me to Marissa a year ago, but it brought me to the one thing that I always wanted, a little family to call my own.


	24. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Epilogue will be out next week. Thank you for reading :)

**_*2 years_ _later*_ **

Josh and I had the perfect wedding. It was better than I ever could have imagined it. Everything went exactly according to plan. The venue that we chose in Cincinnati was the perfect size for our guests. Everyone from Josh’s side of the family was able to attend and a decent-sized group from my side, including my dad, grandparents, Justin and Adam, and a few other close family friends were able to fly to Cincinnati to spend our special day with us.

Before I met Josh, I never pictured myself spending the rest of my life with anyone. He came into my life like a source of light. I was so thankful for his love for me and Kylie. We were becoming a family slowly, but surely. It took me a while to accept Josh’s offer to adopt Kylie, but after a year of officially going out, Kylie now had Josh’s last name.

The way Josh proposed wasn’t too romantic, but I loved it regardless. After we dropped Kylie off at my grandparents’ house, we went out to dinner and spent the night at a hotel by the beach. Josh seemed off and very nervous throughout the night. He was fidgety, playing with his fingers, and scratching the back of his neck. We were overlooking the scenery on our balcony when he started asking me questions that fully didn’t register in my head.

~~~

_“I could stay here forever with you,” he murmured against my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist._

_“Me too,” I said lazily as I stared out into the ocean. There were dolphins playing in the distance and I was so entranced with their beauty._

_“Would you want me forever?”_

_“Of course,” I replied, still fixated on the dolphins._

_He briskly turned me around so I could face him. The last rays of the sun fueled to my desire as Josh’s eyes landed on mine. He kissed me slowly, his kisses growing more passionate by the second. The feeling of our lips caressing one another made me feel like we were lost in our own fantasy. It all seemed like a dream and I didn’t want to wake up._

_Josh pulled away and took my hands in his._

_“Marissa, I-I,” he stuttered._

_“Josh, are you okay?” I brought my hand to his cheek, feeling concerned._

_“I-I am. It’s just that…I have so much to say. So much to tell you about how I feel and I just need to try and push through without stuttering and feeling nervous.”_

_I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions._

_“Marissa, this past year and a half with you has changed my life completely. You stood by me every minute of every day. I’m know I’m not that much of spiritual person, but I feel like you’re an answer to some subconscious prayer that I had. I love you so much and I really want to spend the rest of forever with you and Kylie, if you let me,” he recited._

_My eyes widened at his words, my heart began to beat rapidly, and my palms were sweaty from the nerves. The words were caught in my throat as I felt the tears and sea breeze kiss my cheeks. I could feel my body tense in a good way when I finally saw Josh taking out something from his pocket as he dropped down to one knee._

_“I know that it may be too soon, but I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”_

_My vision blurred but all I could recall was saying, “Yes.”_

_~~~_

I thought it was too soon, but Josh needed me as much as I needed him and eight months later, we were officially man and wife. We kept tight-lipped about our plans because we didn’t want a lot of attention to be brought to our big day. Before we started our plans, Josh made an incredibly sweet gesture by asking my dad and my grandparents for my hand. He didn’t want to have one blessing, but he needed all three of their blessings.

The most emotional parts, for me, were having my dad walk me down the aisle and having our father/daughter dance. He made an effort to change his life and he did. He got help for his drinking, he got closer to me, and started to form a relationship with Kylie. It took her a while to get used to him, but she loved it when we would visit him because he even bought a little kitchen set for her to play with. He also had to gain back the relationship with my grandparents after what had happened after my mom passed away. My grandfather was very hesitant, but when he saw how my dad put a real effort into making things better, he came around.

“Thank you very much for coming!” Josh said, bidding goodbye to everyone.

Tears were welling up in my eyes as Kylie wrapped her arms around my neck. We were one of the last few remaining after our wedding reception.

“Congrats on the new bride and groom and may your honeymoon be everything you could wish for,” Connor spoke up so everyone could hear him.

We all gave our last goodbyes before I handed Kylie to my grandmother. She pulled me in for a hug and whispered, “Are you going to tell him?”

“I’m going to have to. He wondered why I was kind of nervous throughout the party,” I replied as I wiped my tears from my eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay baby? Be good for Mama and Papa Bear. I love you,” I told Kylie as I puckered my lips for a kiss.

“I love you,” she replied as she grabbed my face in between her tiny hands and kissed my lips.

Josh was finishing hugging everyone else before he stopped in front of my dad. He shook his hand and went in for a hug.

“Congratulations, Josh. Welcome to our family. Thank you for making my princesses happy,” I heard him tell him.

“Anything for Marissa and Kylie, sir.”

“Daddy!” Kylie screeched.

“Come here,” Josh called. Her pale yellow, flower girl dress stood out in start contrast against his black suit. “You be good now, alright?”

“Okay. I love you!” she shrieked as she placed a kiss on lips as well. He handed her off to my dad and then grabbed my hand. We waved one last goodbye and headed out to our car so we could leave for the hotel we would be staying at.

Once the door shut, Josh pulled me in closer to his body. The scent of his cologne buzzed my senses and we were all over each other.

“I love you so much, baby. I was waiting for this day to come,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I replied with a smile.

It didn’t take us that long to get to the hotel. By the time we came to a stop, I had to fix my dress because Josh was desperate to take it off of me. We rode the elevator up to the tenth floor, the air buzzing with anticipation, but I was very nervous about breaking some news to him. How would he take it? Would he be happy? Would he even accept it?

We chased each other down the hall until we reached our room. I slipped in the key, but was quickly swept off my feet into Josh’s arms.

“What are you doing?” I scolded as I tried to hold back my giggles.

“Carrying you over the threshold.” He pushed the door open and didn’t let me down on my feet until we reached the bed.

The dark hues added an intimate and sultry feel to the room. Josh came up from behind as I took in the room, instantly turned on when he moved my hair aside and began to kiss my neck.

“You’re so tense,” he murmured. “Are you feeling, okay?”

“I am. Just kind of nervous.”

“Why? There’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s just you and me.”

I smiled, wondering when I should tell him the news that I had. I walked over to my suitcase that was settled near the television set. My hands dug through the clothes until I found what I was looking for. Walking over to Josh, I turned my back to him and asked, “Can you unzip me?”

His trembling fingers pulled down the zipper as he explored every inch that was exposed to him. Before I could let the dress fall off of me, I turned around in a playful manner to him.

“Wait here, let me get more comfortable,” I winked and made my way towards the bathroom, satisfied of the look that I left on his face.

The marbled bathroom was beautiful and it felt like I stepped into a Roman bathroom. The mirror was wide enough for me to see every inch of myself. I carefully stepped out of my dress and began to put on the little surprise that Justin bought for me for my bridal shower. When I put on the corset-like top, I studied myself in the mirror. I didn’t look any different, my body hadn’t changed much, but how long would I be able to keep my secret?

Once I was done, I picked up my dress and began to head out. Josh had removed his jacket and was now pouring some sparkling wine into two flutes. When he turned around, his mouth dropped.

“Marissa, you look stunning,” he complimented me. I felt so shy being dressed like this with him for some reason. I placed my dress over a chair and walked towards him, slowly turning in a circle so he could have a nice view of the whole ensemble.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

He handed me over the flute, and I took it from him, only to pretend to take a sip. Josh took my hand and led me over to the bed. There was something about him that looked powerful when he had on his dress shirt and pants. It made my mouth water and spine tingle whenever he dressed up for special occasions or when he had important interviews. I was scared, really scared.

Josh lifted me on to him and carefully lifted me up towards the pillows so my head could rest on them. I didn’t hold back, my legs opened so he could settle himself in between me and the friction of his pants with my underwear ignited the flame. His lips were all over me as his thrusts began to pick up the pace. His hands were caressing me all over as our lips fought for dominance. For some reason, I had the courage to tell Josh what I needed to say.

“Josh?” I grunted.

“Hmmm,” he moaned in response.

“I have to tell you something,” I told him, trying not to sound like I was out of breath.

He didn’t respond, his face was buried in my neck and continued his assault.

“Josh, I’m pregnant.”

Once those words left my mouth, Josh stopped and slowly lifted his head to look me in the eyes. He was studying me, making sure that I didn’t pull some kind of joke on him.

“A-are you sure?” he questioned.

I didn’t know what this next reaction would be, so all I could do was nod. Was he going to be angry?

“Oh my god!” he began to smile and led to a full blown chuckle. His lips meshed on to mine and he kissed me furiously.

“I love you so much! Thank you!” he said as he hugged me.

“You’re not mad?” I asked.

“Mad? No! You’re going to give me another baby!” he exclaimed.

Relief flooded me, I was so glad we were going to be extending our family.

“Do you know how far along you are?”

“No, I just took the test a week ago. I’ll schedule an appointment with the doctor once we get back to LA.”

Josh resumed his position with his lips on mine and our hips meeting together. He swiftly removed my panties and skimmed my aching sex with his fingers.

“I love it when you’re like this for me,” he hissed.

My fingers reached for the buttons on his shirt, but he saw how I was trembling and helped me take it off along with his pants and briefs. I still had on my top, but just when I was about to reach for it, Josh stopped me.

“Leave it on,” he ordered huskily.   

When the head of his cock came in contact with clit, a buzzing sensation washed over me. He deliberately slid into me with precision and it rocked me to the core. I wanted him to move faster, but he didn’t give in.

“Please,” I whispered. “Faster.”

“No, baby. I need this nice and slow. I love making love to you,” he replied as he sealed his lips over mine once more.

Every muscle in my body tensed every time we moved together. Josh knew how to worship me when I gave in to him. He loved that connection that we made together and he would tell me exactly how I made him feel.

“I love you so much, Marissa. Thank you for making me feel whole,” he moaned.

“Josh, I love you too. Please,” I pleaded.

“Please what?”

“Faster.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he expressed.

“You won’t be hurting me. I won’t break.”

It seemed like my pleas worked a bit, but not as much as I wanted to. His thrusts picked up the pace a bit, not as much as I would have liked, but he still knew how to satisfy me.

“I love it when you squeeze my cock like that, Marissa- just like a fist. You’re so warm and wet, I could stay inside you forever. You’re so beautiful when you’re flushed and breathless. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

I loved it when he talked to me like that. It always encouraged me because he wanted me no matter what. This kind of talk always made me climb higher to my peak and it felt amazing that Josh wanted to climb it together. His hand disappeared between us and he began to rub my swollen nub with his thumb. His left arm lifted me up on to his lap as he was still kneeling on the bed. Once I was in position, both of his hands fell to my behind as began to move within me.

“Show me how much you want it, baby. I won’t let go,” he promised.

My arms wrapped around his neck and steadied myself on his thighs. I moved as fast as my body would let me. I savored the feeling of him in me- so thick, hard, and determined to make me come. Every time I moved, my walls clenched him tightly and I felt him twitch a few times.

“Josh, I’m gonna-,”

“Come for me, Marissa. I need to feel you.”

At his words, I came undone and I felt myself gush all around him. My ears buzzed and all the sounds that Josh made were muffled. I buried my face on his neck, licking his salted skin.

“Fuck, fuck!” he chanted as held on tighter to me, releasing in three spurts.

My body was limp with exertion; I had no energy to lift my head. Josh carefully placed me back on the bed, slowly removing himself from me.

“I like it when I see myself wet and it’s all because of you,” he grinned.

I half laughed and closed my eyes, still not wanting my rush to end. He lay beside me and I could feel his eyes observing me. When I had the strength to open them again, Josh was propped up on his elbow, smiling at me.

“What?” I asked.

“We get to do that for the rest of our lives,” he smirked.

“It’s not like we didn’t do it when we weren’t married,” I teased.

“I know, but it feels so right knowing that I can make love to the most beautiful wife ever,” he grinned as he placed a kiss on my cheek.

“How about we take a bath and give you a massage?” he huskily offered.

“Yes, that sounds heavenly.”

~~~

While Josh got the tub ready, I glanced in the mirror to take in my appearance again. I definitely had sex hair, my make up was slightly smudged, and light purple marks decorated the left side of my neck. This was going to be a bit hard to cover up, but it didn’t matter in that moment.

Josh climbed in first and held out his hand for me. I stripped off my top and took his hand, climbing in and feeling the warm water relax my tired feet. Once Josh sat down and leaned against the rest on the tub, he helped me sit down in between his legs, and pulled me against him.

“Oh god this feels good,” I sighed as I felt his hands kneaded my shoulders.

“Mmm, it does,” Josh replied as he placed a kiss on my ear.

“I don’t think we’ve ever done this. All we ever did in the shower was wash ourselves and maybe have a quickie if there was time and Kylie was asleep.”

“Yeah, well, about that…we may need to talk about the little elephant in the room.”

Josh already said he was happy, but I still tensed when he said that. I was about to turn around when I felt his hands on my belly. He rubbed tiny circles with his thumbs and I couldn’t help but slump against him once more.

“I can’t believe it,” he finally said. “I’m going to be a daddy again.”

“Josh, I know it’s too soon and I’m so sorry that things didn’t go according to plan,” I apologized.

“Babe, it’s not your fault. I am beyond happy that you’re carrying my baby. I’m a little scared too, but I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I sighed, “Last time I was in this situation, I felt like I had no one to turn to. Yes my grandparents were there, but they didn’t fully understand what I was going through. Once I had Kylie, I shut myself down from everyone. I made everything about myself private and I needed to protect Kylie from everyone and everything.”

“But she has me. She’s safe now. Omar was caught and he’s not going to come after you like he threatened,” he rationed.

I turned around and threw my arms around him.

“Thank you for being in my life,” I murmured as my eyes began to water.

“Thank you for walking into mine,” he replied, “I can’t wait to start our forever.”

_**The End** _


	25. Epilogue

**Josh**

The sound of tiny footsteps pattered across the floor.  _She’s awake._  I looked to Marissa who was facing me, breathing softly and looking like a precious angel. She was almost four months pregnant and she was barely showing. Yesterday, we had our appointment to find out the sex of the baby. When it was confirmed that it was a boy, I was so close to crying. Of course, when we left the doctor’s office, I did let a few tears slip.

When we told Kylie she was going to have a baby brother, she shrieked with joy and pranced around the house saying, “Baby, baby!” The way she took it all in and how she was genuinely happy was cute, but it was going to be a bit difficult trying to explain that it meant a new person would be joining our family. Marissa and I decided to take it day by day and Kylie had been doing well with it so far.

The tiny footsteps eventually made their way to our new room. Since our family was expanding, we needed to get a bigger house with more rooms. It was sad to say goodbye to our tree house, but we fell in love with a new place a few weeks after we got married.

There was a tugging on my side the bed and I rolled over, hugging my pillow close to me, pretending to be asleep. I squinted, just enough that I could see Kylie but still look like my eyes were closed. From what I could tell, her ponytail was no longer settled on the top of her head and she had on mismatched pajamas since she wanted to dress herself.

“Psst! Daddy!” she whispered. When she didn’t get a response, she tugged on the blankets again.

“Daddy! Are you sleepy?”

I rubbed my eyes and caught the time on my alarm clock. Why would a four year old wake up this early? My hand reached out and that was her cue to take it and try to climb on the bed. I rolled her over so she could settle between us. Without waking up Marissa, she faced me with the biggest smile on her face.

“Can we see Belle?”

“Are you sure? It’s too early,” I mumbled.

“But I want to see,” she pouted.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go watch Belle.”

We both got up as quietly as we could to not disturb Marissa, but once we were just outside the door, Kylie sprinted into the living room and began to look for the movie. When I caught up to her, she was jumping up and down and handing me the movie to put it on. Once the opening credits rolled, Kylie sat down on the floor and watched as the narrator began to talk about the Beast. Since it was still early, I decided to lie down on the couch and hopefully fall back to sleep.

I didn’t last long, my eyes grew heavy before they even finished the opening song. A few minutes went by and I caught Kylie trying to cover me with the throw blanket we usually had on the couch. She was probably the sweetest little girl ever. She wasn’t fussy and she was so caring, just like Marissa. She was very protective of “her baby” and would always kiss Marissa’s tummy saying that she loved them.

“What about my kiss?” I asked.

“Kisses for daddy!” she complied. She kissed my nose and cheek before I pulled her up onto the couch so she could lie down beside me. Kylie rested her head on my arm and snuggled in closer to me as I pulled the blanket over us. Once again, I couldn’t keep my eyes open and the sound of her deep, even breathing made me close my eyes, feeling peaceful and relaxed.

What felt like a few minutes was actually half an hour when I heard Marissa giggle. The scene where Belle and the Beast were dancing around was on and as I peeked through my eyelids, Kylie was no longer lying down with me, but she was waltzing around on her own. Marissa sat at my feet, watching as Kylie swayed around the room, lost in her own little fantasy. I stretched, letting my body fully wake up before I sat up.

“Good morning,” Marissa greeted me. Her cheeks glowed and she looked even more radiant than ever.

“Mmm, good morning,” I replied as I leaned in to her and gave her a kiss.

“And how is my baby boy this morning?” I cooed as I rubbed her small bump.

“He’s doing fine, he loves hearing his daddy talk.”

“I know, my little man is going to be everything that we hoped for,” I gushed.

“Yeah, he’s going to be as amazing as his daddy.”

“Come on, lie down with me,” I suggested.

“Josh, we have to get the last minute stuff done for the party,” she frowned.

When Marissa said party, Kylie stopped her dancing and ran over to us.

“My party?” she asked as she jumped up and down.

“Yeah, your party! How old did you turn again?” Marissa wondered.

“Four!” she exclaimed as held up four fingers.

“That’s right. You turned four, three days ago! Your friends from preschool are going to be here to celebrate, so I think it’s time we get you cleaned up.” Marissa held out her hand and Kylie took it.

“Is there anything you want me to get started on?” I called out after them as they headed towards the bathroom.

“Just make sure that the toys are put away,” Marissa hollered.

I did a quick inspection of the room and began to put away the toys that cluttered the corners. My mind drifted off, back to almost exactly three years ago when I arrived with Andre to Marissa’s grandparents’ house for Kylie’s first birthday. It was sure a memorable one because she took her first steps. It was an emotional time for both of us because she was attempting to walk and having her walk into my arms made it much more special. Time flew by so fast and it was hard to believe that she was already four.

For her birthday, we decided to have a Beauty and the Beast theme. We got her the dress from the Disney store so she would be wearing that throughout the party. The backyard would be decked out in yellow and blue, along with roses like in the movie. However, we were waiting for Andre to come over and help us with decorating the place.

A few minutes went by and I could hear Kylie whining behind Marissa as they walked down the hallway.

“But mommy, I want to wear it now,” she pouted.

“Baby, it’s too early. The party doesn’t start until 3 and it’s 10:30 right now. I don’t want you to ruin your dress so when the time gets closer, we’ll go put it on, okay?”

She sighed, “Okay.”

I walked over to Marissa and rubbed her shoulders, feeling how tense she was.

“Relax, it’s just a party. We’ve done it before,” I tried soothing her.

“I know, it’s just that her little friends are going to be coming over and it’s the first time we’ll have four year olds running around and I really hope no one decided to jump in the pool with their clothes on,” she rambled.

I chuckled, “There are no more than 10 kids who said they could come. If anyone decides to find their way over the guard of the pool, I’ll go in and jump after them.”

“Oh god, what would I do without you?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around my waist, “I don’t want to deal with angry parents.”

“Come on, we should get dressed and start with the tables and chairs out back.”

We both changed into simple clothing and just when we were about to go out back, Andre arrived and he was ready to help me set up the backyard. The crisp, October day was perfect, it wasn’t too hot or too cool for the guests. The sun was shining and the few clouds didn’t look too threatening. Hopefully, the party wouldn’t go on until the late hours.

When it was around one, Marissa jumped in the shower then helped Kylie get dressed in her Belle dress. While she got her ready, I jumped in the shower and washed as quickly as I could. Once I was done, I could hear the Kylie’s giggles coming from the living room.

“Twirl for me,” Andre instructed. I caught Kylie just in time as she went around in a circle, letting her yellow dress sway all around her. Marissa had even done her hair the way Belle had it in the movie.

“Well, Belle, you sure are the most beautiful princess there ever was,” Andre grinned.

“Thank you, Uncle Andre!” Kylie replied as she threw herself on to him. He whispered something in her ear and her eyes suddenly landed on mine.

“Daddy! You look handsome,” she giggled.

“Why thank you, and may I say that you are the most beautiful little girl ever?”

She blushed in response and came over to grab my hand and drag me to the kitchen. Marissa was drinking a glass of water when I walked in. She looked absolutely beautiful in her floral dress, it fit her in all the right places.

“Mommy, does daddy look handsome?” she asked her.

“Oh yes, he’s my Prince Charming,” she mused as she walked over to me to put her arms around my neck.

“When will I have a prince?”

My hand tightened around hers a bit when she said those words. I knew that she was growing up fast, but I still wasn’t ready to accept that one day, we would have to let her go. Marissa searched my face, kind of lost herself on how to respond to Kylie. I straightened out my shirt and bent down to her level.

“Baby, you’re too young to find a prince. Once you get older, your prince will come and find you. Right now, all daddies are princes to their princesses,” I explained.

“I like that. Will you be my prince forever?” she wondered.

“Forever,” I promised.

“Yay! Uncle Andre, Daddy said he’s my prince!” she called out to Andre as she ran to living room.

“I just hope that she won’t end up in the same situation as me,” Marissa finally said when Kylie was out of sight. “She deserves the world and a guy who will treat her like a queen one day.”

I could hear the pain in her tone. A situation like hers wasn’t uncommon, but the way it still marked her pained me. I walked over to her and kissed her tenderly, making the thoughts melt away.

“Babe, she’ll be okay. What you’re worrying about is not going to repeat itself. Besides, she has me so whoever decides to break her heart, is going to get his ass kicked and regret what he did. She’s just four, enjoy this moment.”

She laughed a little and agreed. That’s all we really could do, enjoy the moments when she would still be able to crawl into our bed, between us because she would hear a monster under her bed.

~~~

The birthday party was a huge hit. Our friends and family, along with Kylie’s classmates from preschool were able to help celebrate with us. Thankfully, no one got hurt nor decided to jump in the pool. We asked our guests if they could please not post any pictures on any social media sites and it was great knowing that they promised they wouldn’t.

Kylie was astounded with her cakes. The first was one with a Belle topper and her dress was made out of cake, the second one was a two-tiered cake. The first tier was decorated from a part of Belle’s dress and the top one was decorated with the Beast’s shirt and jacket. To top it all off, there was a rose made out of fondant with the petals falling down.

The night ended with Kylie opening presents. She was completely spoiled, but she thanked every single one of her guests with a hug. One by one, the guests began to leave and the last ones who stayed behind were Andre, Marissa’s dad, and my mom with Connor. The tables and chairs were piled up for their pick up the next day and the leftover food was being stored away.

My mom and Connor were the very last ones to wish us goodnight. I walked back into the living room to find Kylie playing with a toy that Andre gave her while Marissa scanned the TV to find something to watch. I sat next to her, exhausted from entertaining everyone.

“Did you like your party, Princess?” I asked her as Marissa leaned in to me.

“Yes! Thank you,” she cried out. Once she got to her feet, she walked over to me, crawled on my lap, and gave me and Marissa a kiss on the cheek before settling against me.

“It’s so exhausting hosting a party,” Marissa mumbled.

“I know, we still have mine next week,” I reminded her.

“Oh yeah,” she yawned, “At least this is a no kids party so it won’t be so bad.”

“Yeah, and we’re going to have the house to ourselves that night too,” I murmured and kissed her temple.

 “Ooh, that means I can give you your gift then,” she winked. Now that she had entered her second trimester, her sex drive was even more intense and had me wondering how I could keep up with her.

 “As long as you have me screaming your name every minute, then it would be the best gift ever.”

“And when have I never not have you screaming my name?” she teased.

_Oh, she’s good._

We stayed and watched an old re-run of Chopped when Kylie began to softly snore. I picked her up and walked back to her room while Marissa turned off the TV and the rest of the lights. Kylie was getting a bit grumpy when I tried to change her.

“I want to watch the movie,” she pouted as I got her dress off and changed her into her pajamas.

“You can watch it tomorrow from the beginning, okay? It’s time to go to sleep now.”

“Okay,” she agreed as I helped tuck her in.

“Goodnight, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she replied sleepily before I placed a kiss on her cheek. Marissa walked in and wished her a goodnight too before she tucked her in one last time and turned off the lights.

After brushing our teeth and changing out of our clothes, we climbed into bed and snuggled in closer. Our breathing was steady and I thought that Marissa was asleep until I heard her speak.

“You’re such an amazing father, Josh. When our baby arrives, I know you’re going to spoil him.”

“I will love my babies equally. And I’m going to love their mother a little more than the day before,” I assured her.

“Would you like to show me how much you love me?” she asked as her finger traced my chest.

“I have a whole lifetime to show you how much I love you. I might just give you a little insight right now,” I groaned.

Marissa straddled my hips, slowly grinding herself on to me. My hard on began to stretch the front of my basketball shorts as my fingertips began to trace the lace covering her skin. I sat up and removed her t-shirt, throwing it carelessly to the side of the bed. My hands began to knead her breasts, amazed at how they have gotten a bit bigger.

“Love me,” I heard her say as she nipped at my jaw and neck.

“I always will.”


End file.
